My Wedding Adventures & Misadventures

My Wedding Adventure

My granddaughter, Mary, is getting married in Sante Fe this afternoon. In the next few blogs, I will describe my adventures and misadventures on attending the wedding.

It all started out innocently enough when I packed for my flight to Albuquerque (Hey, I spelled it correctly, first try – wish Miss Sleeper or Miss Sleepy as I called her behind her back in fourth grade could see it). I placed my suitcase on the bed. I neatly folded my blue blazer and white shirt and placed them in the suitcase (so far, so good). My right brain directed me to load up my one-quart plastic baggie with a toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, and my razor (my chest is swelling with pride), I’m hoping the TSA tells me I’m their poster boy for the year. I polished my shoes, put them in a plastic bag and placed them in the suitcase.

I closed the suitcase, put the suitcase where I won’t forget it when I leave (right in front of the door leading to the garage) and got ready for bed (my flight departs at 6 a.m.). I woke up with a start at 10 p.m. OMG – I didn’t pack pants or my boxers. I’m out of the bed, the suitcase is back on the bed, my pants and boxers go in (pants neatly, boxers, not so neatly).

It takes me a half-hour to get back to sleep after that near miss. I finally and gratefully doze off. It’s 1:30 a.m. I’m sitting straight up in bed. Can you imagine being all dressed up for the wedding but not having stockings? Major faux pax. I take care of it. I now have it covered. I toss and turn. I look for the cold side of the pillow. Nothing helps. I go through a packing checklist – a voice in my mind screams at me, “Hold on Ray. Where is the tie?” Where is the tie? I know where the tie is, it’s on the tie rack and not in the suitcase. I’m getting aerobic exercise carrying my suitcase back and forth to the bed for packing.

I did not go back to sleep. That’s the bad news. The good news – I got to the airport on time. The bad news – the flight was delayed. The good -news. I slept for the two hours on the flight to Phoenix. Wait a minute, I thought you were going to Albuquerque (spelled it correctly again, Miss Sleepy, oops, Miss Sleeper). Phoenix is where the brilliant minds at American Airlines decided I have to go to get to Albuquerque. So, we fly over the entire state of New Mexico. Change planes and come back to New Mexico.

It was all good because in Phoenix I met Richard and David from Hawaii. One seat between them. I asked if the seat was open, Richard said yes, David shrugged. I said to David, “Will you accept a 2-1 vote?” “Ho k,” he said. I said to Richard and David, “If you guys haven’t had coffee, let me know, I’ll get a different seat.” David looks past me at Richard and says, “We let him stay. Where you going, man?” I said, “It’s Ray, what’s your name amigo.” I turned down an offer from David when we boarded the plane to learn the gang signals. When I boarded the plane, Jim and Lady Lucy were sitting in my seat. Lady Lucy a cute service dog with big brown eyes. My apologies, Lady Lucy, your eyes almost got me. But you do have my seat.”

Tomorrow: The wedding.