My Wedding Adventures & Misadventures Pt. 2

I arrive in Albuquerque. The plane arrives on time. And, Lady Lucy won my heart. I asked her to like my blog, all she did was lick my cheek. How can a guy push away a girl with brown eyes as deep and rich as Lady Lucy’s eyes? Impossible (Lady Lucy’s selfie below –  she was using a selfie stick – eat your heart out guys).

Lady Lucy

Sante Fe is 60 miles north of Albuquerque. The wedding is at 4 p.m. I took a photo of the invitation so I can Google the address when I drive to the wedding. Wait a minute, I need to get my reserved rental car. I got a good deal online when I purchased my airline ticket – that’s the last time I fall for that pitch.

Let put it this way, there’s a reason they call it Budget Rental. The person at the counter greeted me as if were her ex and was behind on child support. Honest, it’s the first time I ever saw her. It got worse as I declined additional coverage, promised to fill the tank, and not surrender my first born as collateral. Our conversation ends with me asking, “Where do I get my car.”

She shook her beehive hairdo toward the right. I was too frightened to look, my mind told me to duck if killer bees swarmed out of her hair. I mustered my courage and said, “Do I have time to go to the restroom?” She laughed and said, “Oh yes, take your time.”

I didn’t care for her tone. My bladder empty, hands washed. I was ready. I walked past her counter and she glared at me. I felt her eyes following me as if she were a sniper. I hope she didn’t have a gun with a laser site. I kept looking for a red dot on my clothes.

I made it safely outside and waited, and waited and waited. After fifteen minutes, I asked someone about my car. She had to consult with another person who has to make a phone call. I can see inside the building. I see beehive pick up a phone. Lots of nodding heads and heads turning toward me. I’m ready to scream, “I’ll give a DNA sample, I’m not your ex. I don’t owe child support. I’ll go on Judge Judy. Just give me my car.” Ten more minutes a black Jeep Patriot pull in. I give it the once over and pull out. My cell battery is nearly empty. I’m down to six percent. I don’t know exactly where the Residence Inn is located. The car they gave me doesn’t have a USB port. I quickly check my iPhone and the year. I was under the impression it was 2017, not 1997. I use one percent of battery life to log into my Marriot app and check in. The app promises me my room will be waiting for me.

I glad I didn’t ask the room to the prom. When I arrive at the Residence Inn, the clerk tells me I’m not in the system. Surely, I was.

“No, sorry.”

“Did you spell my name correctly? It’s Ray. One vowel, two consonants.”

“Oh yes, there it is. No, nothing is ready.”

I say, “I have a wedding in three hours. I’m a first born Italian male, it’s in my DNA to look good. I haven’t shaved since 3 a.m. Can you help me?”

“No sorry, come back in an hour or so? If everything goes right, you should be in your room by 3:30.”

I shrugged and said, “Do you mind if I call my Uncle Tony and he calls your manager? What is your name?”

The clerk gets a worried look, and said, “Where does your Uncle Tony live?”

I said, “I’m family, I can’t tell you.”

The clerk said, “Let me see what I can do.”

I had two uncle Tony’s, one on each side. One is in heaven and the other in witness protection (only kidding). Ten minutes later, I’m in my room. I charge my iPhone. I’ll need Apple or Google maps to get me to the wedding. I leave at 2:15, I want to schmooze with family and snack on any available finger foods. I hope they have Perrier.

You’d think my misadventures were over, but they were only beginning. Stop by tomorrow to discover if I even make it to the wedding. And, if I did, what were Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson doing there?


Author: Ray Calabrese

I am an optimistic, can do, and never quit guy. The spirit of hope indelibly marks my DNA. My research at The Ohio State University helped people discover the best in themselves and change their personal lives, public organizations, and whole communities. I bring the same spirit and enthusiasm to my blog to help those who grieve who find themselves suddenly alone, navigate their grieving. Join my more than 24,300Twitter (@alwaysgoodstuff). I promise my tweets are always good stuff. Please feel free to email me at

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