How About Pizza Delivery?

“What is that smell, Ray!”

“Salmon. Dr. Oz said Salmon is good for my heart.”

“The smell is killing me. Do you think something that smells so bad can be good for you? Do you have a spray? A tub of baking soda? Hairspray? I’m gagging.”

“Do you have to be so dramatic, P? BTW, what does P stand for?”

“I changed it to B because B rhymes with free. That’s me, a free spirit. You can’t tie me down, Ray.”

“You are a character, not a free spirit.”

“You weren’t listening, Ray. I know it’s a challenge for your species, but at least try. B or P, and BTW, they both rhyme with free. Are you through? Toss the salmon, we’re eating out. I want to go a place where the wine is served in a real wine glass, not your typical places where they pour it in a styrofoam cup.”

“What’s wrong with eating on picnic tables? They bring the food on butcher block paper.”

“Do you want me to call Bobby Flay or is it Filet? On the QT, Ray, Dr. Oz does not eat salmon.”

“How do you know what Dr. Oz eats or doesn’t eat? Why am I interested in what Dr. Oz eats? Why do I think you know the answer?”

“Slow down Paco, one question at a time, por favor. I’ve been practicing my Spanish in case you didn’t notice. It wouldn’t hurt you to learn a second language. You’re having enough problems with your first language, may as well dump it. Pronto.”

“I know some Spanish. Here’s one for you, adios.”

“Oh cute, very cute. I don’t get paid for all the work I’m doing to help you with your blog, counsel you, act as your emotional anchor, sounding board, confidant.”

“Please, spare me. As far as going out, I’m watching my budget. How about a pizza delivery.”

“And, I have to drink the wine you use for cooking? The four ninety – five when it’s not on sale? No wonder you stay thin. You can’t stand your own cooking and you’re too cheap to eat at a good place.”

“Do you have a better suggestion?”

“Score one for you, Ray. You actually asked me my opinion.”

“It was a slip of tongue.”

“Thought as much. You’re the writer. Write off the tab. Get a free expensive bottle of wine. Write yourself a nice polished pair of shoes, no boots and jeans kind of place.”

“In case you forgot, we’re in South Texas. San Antonio. It’s cowboy country. I think I’ll wear my boots, jeans, and cowboy hat.”

“I know you try to stay in shape, but you forgot to mention a shirt. Most Texas places say, ‘No shirt no service.”

“And a shirt. Why do I find conversations with you tiring?”

“Because I’m smarter than you.”

“That hurt.”

“Truth always does, Ray. Now where we going? How about Chez Flor?”

“How about, El Taco Grande, the food truck down by the Alamo?”

Life is better when we don’t take everything too seriously; when we can enjoy good conversation with a friend, and to see the humor in the life’s mundane things.