There are times when the unexpected is normal. Living with La Flor* not like anything I previously experienced. The abnormal is normal. The unexpected is expected. And, as far as La Flor is concerned, the world and all its inhabitants, including at ego inhabitants revolve around her. For La Flor, this is life as it is meant to be.
This morning, for example, I decided to break my routine and pass up on the oatmeal and Greek yogurt and opt for a perfectly toasted English muffin, with organic peanut butter spread over it, filling every crevice; Then I drizzled dark golden brown raw honey on it. My taste buds were salivating. I went a bit overboard and sprinkled flax seeds on top of each half. I placed them on my plate and set my plate on the table on the patio. I returned to the kitchen and took hold of my coffee pot. I poured a cup. My coffee was hot, dark, and gave off a caramelly sweet aroma trailed by a hint of smokiness. All was right in my world. La Flor was sleeping, or so I thought. I sat, my hand reached for my cup of coffee when my reverie was broken.
La Flor said from 4 feet behind me, “Ray, is your shampoo safe?”
I need to become more aware the signs of random thoughts flying toward me from La Flor’s cosmos.
“I haven’t given much thought as to whether or not my shampoo was safe, La Flor,” I said without turning around.
“You should,” she said, pulling a chair up next to me and taking my cup out of my hand.
I said, “There are so many other important things to worry about besides shampoo. There are cups in the cupboard.”
“Is that so?” She said and took hold of one-half of my English muffins. She looked at it, and said, “Next time leave the flaxseed off for me, Ray. They get caught in my teeth.”
“I’ll have to remember that, La Flor.”
She took a small bite, chewed for a second, then took a sip of my coffee. After she swallowed, she said, “Coffee and an English muffin toasted to perfection with creamy peanut butter and raw honey is a great combo. You need to try it sometime.”
I rolled my eyes and said, “What about the shampoo?”
“Oh yah. You know when you’re washing your hair you’re just tossing chemicals on it. It’s not good for your skin or your hair.”
“Did you wash your hair today, La Flor. It looks especially radiant.”
“Of course, I washed my hair.”
“Why are you complaining about my shampoo?”
“Do you think I would use your shampoo? The Target special.”
“I did not get it from Target.”
“Where did you purchase the plastic container of chemicals that can peel paint off a car?”
“I will tell you if you first tell me where you are getting your information.”
“Okay. My mystery writer friend and I stopped over at the natural food store. We were in the shampoo aisle when this guy took a look at me and fell in love on the spot. I have this effect on men.”
“My species can’t help themselves when you enter the room.”
“It’s a curse I live with,” said La Flor.This is new. What’s his name and what does he do?”
“What’s his name and what does he do?”
“He is a naturalist. His name is Juan.”
“Do you know what that means?”
“Are you talking about Juan or being a naturalist?”
“Let’s stay with naturalist for the moment.”
“For sure, Ray. It means he naturally fell for me. Of course, he couldn’t help but fall for La Flor the beautiful, tough, and edgy PI.”
“How does he wash his hair?” I don’t know why I asked this question. I think I have low blood sugar. She is now eating the other half of my muffin.
“You’re getting very personal, do you care to rephrase that?”
“Okay, does he wash his hair with chemicals?”
“No, Ray he buys it the Natural food store. This goes with his being a naturalist and falling for me naturally and the shampoo container says all natural. It’s like the perfecto stormo.”
“And, why are you listening to him?”
“He is 6 feet 2. He has the most gorgeous brown eyes. And, I think I’m in love. And, he has money.”
“Sounds like he has all the right qualifications. And, all this happened over shampoo?”
“Go figure,” La Flor said.
“Can you tell me a bit more about Juan?”
“He is Juan der ful.”
And to think how peaceful my day started. I said, “I think I’ll make myself an English muffin, do you want anything?”
“A warm up on my coffee, if you don’t mind.”
Our best plans often get interrupted. Getting upset or angry over the interruption doesn’t recreate the ideal we wanted. Going with the current eliminates the anger, resentment, and often offers some pleasant surprises.
* La Flor is a fictional character and acts as my alt ego. Her character has evolved over the blog posts. She began with a single letter as her name. Her name gradually grew to two letters, then three before she settled on La Flor. She liked the name because it fit her idea of a beautiful, tough, and edgy feminine PI. It is my interaction with her persona that serves as the source of these blog posts. I have no notion how La Flor will continue to evolve. It is an adventure for me as well as the reader.