It’ll Be An Oscar Performance

“How did you sleep last night,” I asked La Flor knowing her Carmen’s Pizzeria photo shoot took place today.

“I didn’t. I am so, so, so, excited. It’s my chance at the big time, Ray. The whole enchilada. It’s going to be the Super Bowl of photo shoots,” La Flor acting more like she drank a couple of Red Bulls.

“Did you drink a Red Bull last night?” I asked.

“No. I did not drink a Red Bull last night,” she answered.

“How many, give it up,” I said.

“I stopped counting at six. I had to stay awake to practice posing.”

“In front of the mirror?” I asked.

“No. I made LC and TT watch me. Every time I drank a Red Bull I made them drink one too,” she said.

“Where are they? They’re usually closer than your shadow. The Red Bulls didn’t bother TT’s caffeine intolerance,” I said.

“Minor problem. LC had to take TT to the ER. ¬†For some unexplained reason he broke out in hives, and his pulse rate was over 200. Good thing LC watches reruns of ER so he knows what to do,” said La Flor.

“You made him drink Red Bull with his intolerance?”

“Not me, I asked LC to make him drink them. Not to worry. They pumped out his stomach. His color returned from a flaming red to a gorgeous deep pink. I’m changing the subject to something more important.”

“What’s more important than TT’s health?”

“My photo shoot, silly,” said La Flor. She added, “The boys will meet us at the pizzeria after the stomach pumping. LC is taking the photo’s and TT is going to hold up cards with my lines.”

“LC is taking the photo’s.”

“Everything is working out perfectly. He has the new iPhone. You know the special secret one that’s coming out in the fall.”

“Can LC take good photos? How did he get the new iPhone? Who’s writing the script for TT to hold?” My heads going around faster than a tilt-a-whirl.

“Are you on Instagram? Check out the photo’s LC posted of me? I have zillions of likes. Next question. Big Carmen has a friend who owes him a favor. This friend has a friend who owes him a favor. You keep going down the chain and Big Carmen delivers. I think that’s a good line for a commercial. What do you think?”

“I got to give it to you, La Flor. Big Carmen delivers is a great line. Now about the script.”

“I am so lucky, lucky, lucky everything turns out right for me. I told LC to write the script for the photo shoot while TT was having his stomach pumped out. LC has a way with words if you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed,” I said.

“How do you plan to dress for the photo shoot?”

“I discussed that with Big Carmen,” said La Flor.

“First of all, he wants me to be myself.”

“Beautiful, tough, and edgy?”

“That goes without saying. He suggested I show enough cleavage to get guys to watch the ad, but not enough to make the mom’s demand the channel be changed. I’m also going to wear a short, tight, black leather skirt, and stilettos. It’ll be an Oscar performance.”

“An Oscar for your role in an ad for Carmen’s Pizzeria?”

“Yes. But keep it secret. You know how rumors spread around the alt ego circus.”

“We’s home beautiful, tough, and edgy next Oscar winner.”

“TT, you look worse than a corpse. What happened?” said La Flor.

“TT’s lobotomy is in a slight delay. It’s like his plane is circling the airport and can’t land, if use know what I mean,” said Little Carmen.

A blank look crossed La Flor’s face.

I said, “Did they sedate him?”

“No. I did. I gave him a couple of knockout drops because he was too hyper. He’s slowly coming out of it.”

“I’m ready to shoot now. Will TT be ready? He looks like a zombie, which is worse than a corpse,” said La Flor.

“I got’s a solvent to the problem,” said Little Carmen.

“What?” said La Flor.

“Ray-mo can hold the cards. I printed big enough with Crayola crayons so’s use can read them,” said Little Carmen.

I answered, “I’ll do it until TT wakes up. Can I look at the cards?”

“No, use will spoils the sauce with some stuff use think is smarter, but which is not smarter when it comes to selling the sauce, if use knows what I means.”

Come back tomorrow for the photo shoot – I think. Maybe the day after. You know how it is with this gang.



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