Don’t Confuse the Confused

“We done here?  I need a vacation, I’m burned out,” said La Flor.

“Use takes all the times use needs to refurnish your membranes. Use were awesome beautiful, tough, and edgy whatever. After the first ad ran I couldn’t make pizza fast enough. It’s a good ting Tony Caruso owes me a fav an he shut down his pizzeria for the night to help me out,” said Big Carmen. He added, “I gots one fav to ask? Well, come to tink of it, that is unless a third percolates in my memory.”

I’m sure Little Carmen was home schooled seeing how he speaks perfect Big Carmen English.

“I’ll do it if it’s not too much trouble. It’s hard being a working girl. Now I understand how the big time models who are not as beautiful as me, or as nice as me, or as intelligent as me look like they need a Frappuccino,” said La Flor.

“Dis is my foist fav.”

“Yes, what’s the second fav?” asked La Flor.fav?”

“What’d she say?” asked Big Carmen to no one and everyone.

“Yes,” said Little Carmen.

“I’m talking about the second part, not the first part. Don’t go confusing the confused,” said Big Carmen.

TT waved his arm, “What’s use want pinky pole?”

TT’s brain was working overtime trying to process pinky pole. TT knew he wasn’t Polish so Big Carmen couldn’t have meant Pol. What other kinds of pol could there be, maybe a politician? Yet, he wasn’t a politician. He looked around the room for something pink, something pol. He came up empty.

“What chu looking for? No body gonna come and pulls your skinny butt out of the pizza oven,” said Big Carmen.

“The beautiful, tough, edgy and burned out super model said yes,” said Little Carmen.

“Use is repeating the repeated, LL. Use don’t has the second part, which is more important than the first part. Now, I’m gonna ask my second fav,” said Big Carmen.

“I want’s use to meets my godchild by my friend Mario who owes me many favs and he just added a big one because he hasn’t done a fav for me,” said Big Carmen.

“Why do I get all the hard stuff?” bemoaned La Flor.

“This leads me to the turd fav,” said Big Carmen (yes, he said turd).

“What is the turd fav? You know you owe me big time for doing turd favs for you?”

La Flor is the master of the suck up as well as the master of many other wonderful gifts as as well.

“I know I owes use, beautiful, tough, edgy and I owes use a big fav,” said Big Carmen.

“As long as we got it straight, you handsome beyond all measures father of LC,” said La Flor.

“Big Bro, she’s got a way with the words. They spell binds me,” said Lil Carlo.

“Use is righteous, Lil Carlo. La Flor’s I wants use to mentor my godchild, Carmela. She’s waiting in the tomato sauce pantry. Use can tell she was named after some big shot.”

“Oh kay,” La Flor drew out the ‘Oh’ for five seconds and clanged the symbols on ‘kay.”

“What’s Pinky pole doing with his arm in the air?” asked Lil Carlo.

“I dunno. I tinks he gots to go number one or number two or number three, which is what I don’t want to know,” said Big Carmen.

“Hold it Pinky,” said Lil Carlo.

“Hey Carmela, get use selfie out here to meets use mentor,” hollered Big Carmen.

A smaller, younger, but not too much younger splitting image of La Flor walked out of the tomato pantry. She saw La Flor. She stopped. She gasped. She threw her hands over her heart, “Oh, La Flor. You are the most admired woman in the world. I want to be just like you. I try to look and dress like you, but no one can capture you exactly,” said Carmela.

“Come on over, girlfriend. Let’s go out for some wine and girl talk,” said La Flor.

“Can I come?” asked Little Carmen.

“LC, you drive. Wait in the car. Don’t bother us.”



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