“La Flor I need your total attention. Please put your iPhone away,” I said.
“Why do we have to do this at Panera? This is not a La Flor kind of place. I need places with an uppity feel,” La Flor complained.
“Like a wine shop?”
“That’s a start in the right direction,” she said.
“The more you concentrate, the quicker we’ll get this done and you can do whatever beautiful, tough, and edgy women do,” I said.
“See, this is the problem with you,” La Flor nipped at my heels.
“What? What did I say to offend you?”
“There are some beautiful women. There are some tough women. There are some edgy women. But there is only one beautiful, tough, and edgy woman. Need I say more?”
“I apologize for my oversight,” I said.
“I’m not sure if I’ll accept it. We’ll see how this conversation goes.”
“I’ll cut to the chase. You don’t want the ring Little Carmen is going to give you.”
“I don’t want a ring a really, really big ring? I don’t want really, really expensive ring? And, I don’t want to be the envy of all the alt ego women? What is wrong with you?”
“For starters, it’s probably hot. A close second, do you really want to marry Little Carmen?”
“Marry? Marry Little Carmen? Who said anything about that? I didn’t. I only want the ring.”
“He thinks he proposed.”
“That’s his problemo. I going to speak in Spanish in case he is listening. Understand, mi perro?”
“I am not your dog. Big Carmen wants to know the date,” I said.
“Tell him to look at his phone’s calendar,” she said. Then she added. “Don’t you dare spoil me getting that ring.”
“It’s hot.” I said.
“Of course it’s hot. Everyone will want one just like it because I have it. I am the trend setter. Where have you been the last few weeks?” asked La Flor.
“What about Big Carmen and Lil Carlo?” I said.
“What about them? They’re sweet, kind, gentle. They wouldn’t hurt a flea. Are we done? I told LC he needs to buy me a completely new wardrobe if I’m to wear the ring he is giving me.”
“You’re digging a hole you’re not going to be able to climb out of,” I said.
“I can’t figure it out, Ray.”
“What Big Carmen saw in you to offer you a wonderful career opportunity.”