La Flor Goes To Court

“You can’t go into court dressed like that,” I said to La Flor.

“Why not? J.Lo dresses like this on the red carpet. And, I look a lot better than she,” said La Flor.

“It’s your show,” I said as I followed La Flor into the courtroom.

The bailiff reached for his angina pills. The district attorney dropped her brief case spilling her files onto the floor. Another bailiff rushed to the railing to open it for La Flor, then let it close on me.

I made my way to the defense table. She whispered to me, “It’s already working.”


“I’m the center of attention. That’s the plan.”

A guard brings TT in and sits him at the table. “What are you looking at?” asked J.Lo, I mean La Flor.

“Uh, ah, uh, oh, nothing,” said the guard and left.

“I love to toy with men. Your species is so easy,” said La Flor.

“Are you going to help me,” begged TT.

“Depends,” said La Flor checking herself out in her mirror.

“On what?” whimpered TT.

“On the compliments I get in court,” said La Flor.

“You’re not going to ask me why I’m hear?” said TT tears running down his cheeks.

“Suck it up, TT. Five to ten will do wonders for you. Think of the great tats you’ll get for free. Think of the inspiration you’ll get from all the nice people you meet,” said La Flor applying lip gloss.

“I don’t want to go to prison. They want me to turn state’s evidence against Big Carmen,” said TT

“A minor detail. I’ll handle it. You’ll be back with the little tramp for dinner,” said La Flor.

“You’re speaking about Carmela, right?” I said.

“You know another tramp?” said La Flor.

“All rise, honorable Henry Fleeze presiding,” said the bailiff.

I tugged gently at La Flor’s arm to help her rise. I didn’t want to tear off what little of clothes she was wearing.

“Leave me alone, I’ve got to finish this nail,” said La Flor.

The judge and bailiff glared at La Flor. She ignored them. She finished using her emery board and placed it back into her handbag, then looked at the judge and bailiff, “You boys can sit so we can get this done.”

“Before I hold you in contempt, who are you?”

La Flor nudged me, “She’s the beautiful, tough, and edgy defense attorney,” I said.

“Who are you?” asked the judge.

“I created her, but she’s taken on a life of her own. I’m her as her legal assistant.”

“What she doing now?” demanded the judge.

“I think she posting to one of her many social media outlets.”

“Do you have a name?” he said to La Flor.

“Don’t use that tone of voice with me, fleas,” said La Flor.

“It’s Judge Fleeze,” said Judge Fleeze.

“Trying to impress me that you know your name?” La Flor turned to the courtroom, “Does anyone here not know their name?” No one raised their hand. La Flor added, “Case closed.”

“I’m going to have you removed from the court,” stammered the judge.

“You can’t,” said La Flor.

“And, why can’t I?” asked the judge.

“To start with, I’m eye candy. You’re staring at me. And, Ray will write you right out of here and send you back to wherever you came from. It’s his blog, you know.”

“It’s your blog,” asked the judge.

“Yes sir,” I said.

“Could you get me reassigned to the State Supreme Court. It’s always been my dream,” pleaded the judge.

“On one condition,” said La Flor.

“What’s that?” asked Judge Fleeze.

“You release TT and drop all charges and criticize the district attorney for her stupid hairdo.”

“Done, all charges dropped against TT and he is released immediately. DA Henson, you need to change stylists. Terrible doo.”

With that TT went home to Carmela, La Flor and I walked out of court into the black stretch limo, and Judge Fleeze became a judge on the State Supreme Court.

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