“LC lets think about the basics,” said La Flor holding Little Carmen’s hand.
“Do use mean basically this and basically that,” asked Little Carmen.
La Flor said, “You’re so adorable, muscular, and … and … and.”
“And, what’s, beautiful, tough, and edgy one,” asked Little Carmen.
“Getting back to basics, LC. I want a poem every day telling me how wonderful I am,” said La Flor.
“I already has one ready, “Roses are red, violets are blue no one is cuter than use.”
“We’ll skip the poems,” said La Flor. Then she added, “This is a speed drill.”
“I am all speed for use, my beautiful, tough, and edgy one.”
“Let’s see how fast you can go to Starbucks and return with a mocha frappuccino. Pay attention. No melting allowed. No spillage allowed. Extra whipped cream.”
“I got it.”
“Ready, set, go, you’re on the clock. You fail, you’re out,” said La Flor.
What word or words can describe a hairy, muscular man wearing a skin tight Carmen’s Pizzeria t-shirt. None. He hurdled the shrubs, bounded on the hood of a car parked on the street, dodge cars crossing the street, and knocked over two trash cans, straight armed a jogger before he disappeared around the corner.
“Do you think you are being fair to Little Carmen?” I asked La Flor.
“Fair? Fair? If life were fair, Ray, every woman would be as beautiful as me. They’re not. So let’s not talk about fair.
“He might get tired of being treated this way and leave you,” I said.
“Surely you jest. Leave me? How often does one of your species get to be with someone like me? Don’t answer because the answer is obvious.”
“I think you’re emphasizing edgy.”
“I’ve got to bring LC back to the middle. He went too far to the edge. He was pushing the boundaries with the cooking gig.”
The door slams. Handyman time again. “I’m back. Did I makes it? I borrowed a 15 speed from a barrista,” said a puffing Little Carmen.
La Flor sips her drink, smiles, “Perfect LC. You passed test. Now, fill my soaking tub, put candles around it, and pour a glass of white wine for me. Don’t forget to lay out my terrycloth towels, body lotion, and put on my fav playlist.”
Little Carmen’s cell phone rings. He answers it, “Yes, Big Carmen. Yes, Big Carmen. Yes, Big Carmen. Yes, Lil Carlo.”
Little Carmen put the phone in his pocket, “I’m going to starts the water in the soaker tub, beautiful, tough, and edgy one, but I gotta go, Big Carmen got a problem, he needs a sub. I gotta go with Lil Carlo on an errand.”
Kiss, kiss, hug, hug,
“Be careful, LC. Don’t get caught. Text me?”
“Will do, my beautiful, tough, and edgy one.”
“Don’t get caught?” I asked.
“What are you talking about?”
“Nothing?”
“Huh?’