It’s Over Your Head

“Where’s LC? It’s nearly ten. He’s usually here by now,” I asked La Flor.

La Flor looked up from her iPhone, “He’s doing an errand for Big Carmen.” She went back to her iPhone.

“What kind of errand?” I asked.

“One of his cousins got sick, so LC is making collections,” said La Flor more interested in social media than my conversation.

“What kind of collections?” I asked.

“I don’t know. But Lil Carlo and his LC’s cousin Vinnie are helping out.”

“Three of them? Are they collecting clothes for Good Will,” sometimes I asked the dumbest questions.

La Flor turned toward me, “Yah, Vinnie’s the driver, Lil Carlo is the muscle, and LC is the brains.”

La Flor acted as if she didn’t hear me. The sound of brakes screeching, a car door slamming, a car peeling rubber, and the front door of my house slamming against the wall.

“I’m home but I’m not home beautiful, tough, and edgy woman of my dreams,” shouted LC running into the living room, kneeling down by the window looking out to the street, his eyes barely above the window sill. A black and white flashing red, blue, and white lights sped by blasting its siren.

LC gets up, “Dat was close. I tink the boys will make it. Vinnie’s a good driver. He knows the roads. He’s the best.”

“Were the cops chasing you?” I asked.

“Cops chasing me? Why would cops chase me. I dun nothing wrong, least wise anyting I will freely admit to without a shamus present.”

“La Flor are you listening?”

“Quiet, Ray. I’m listening to Taylor Swift’s latest hit.”

I turned to LC, “You got to come clean with me. I don’t want to be harboring a criminal.”

“Do I smell or someting? I took a shower about three hours ago. I’m clean. What you talking about going down by the harbor? Use only go down by the river when use says goodbye to somebody. Maybe use mean to say barber? If use did, let me know, I needs a haircut.”

“You’re talking in circles, LC.”

“I am standing right here, Ray-mo. I am not going in circles. Is there something wrong with your cerebral kotex?”

“Did you mean cortex?”

“Dat’s what I said,” said LC.

La Flor looks up, “Taylor’s new song was good, but she’s done better. I’ve got a couple of ideas I’m going to share with her to help her give her career a jump start. It’s sitting at a rest stop if you know what I mean.”

Before I could speak, LC gives La Flor a hug and a kiss or was it a kiss and a hug or was it a kiss, hug, kiss. I’m not quite sure of the sequence. LC steps back. Before he can speak, the living room slams into the wall. I hear, “I likes the way use built a hole in the wall to catch the door nob,” said the little guy with a nose as big as the gun he carries, wearing a stocking hat even though it’s 80 degrees outside, otherwise known as Lil Carlo.

Lil Carlo and someone I’m guessing to be Vinnie walk in. Lil Carlo whispers in LC’s right ear. Vinnie whispers in LC left ear. LC keeps shaking his head.

La Flor nudges me, “See how brilliant LC is? He can listen to two conversations at the same time and make sense of them. When he’s finished, he ususally says something brilliant.”

I want to say, ‘Don’t hold your breath,’ but La Flor and I are getting along. I’ll let a sleeping LC sleep.

Lil Carlo looks at me, “Ray, me and Vinnie needs to spend the night and maybe tomorrow.”

“I’ll drive you home,” I said.

LC chimes in, “They gots to lay low, use knows, keep under the covers, keep the lid on, we don’t want the pasta to overcook.”

“What’s he talking about?” I said to La Flor.

“It’s over your head, Ray. Admit it.”


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