“Why do I have to drive? Why are we sitting in a car on a dark street near the Fur Palace? Why are you two making out in the backseat and I have a small cold pizza from Carmen’s Pizzeria?”
No Answer. Message not received in the back seat. Only heavy breathing.
A beat up pickup pulls in front of me. It’s O’Leary.
O’Leary gets out of the pickup, walks over to the passenger side door, opens it, sees my half eaten, cold pizza on the seat. O’Leary says, “I’m hungry do you mind if I have a piece?”
“Have it all, I’m finished,” I said.
O’Leary slid into the passenger side. He layered the four pieces of pizza, opened his mouth and slid the pizza inside. After he finished chewing, he said, “This way I can tell my doc I only ate one piece.” He looked into the backseat, “Great cover, I got to hand it to them, nobody can figure them to be on stakeout. It almost looks real, what they’re doing.”
“Yah, they got it all together,” I said.
“She have a twin sister? I’m thinking of going back on the market after my bad breakup,” said O’Leary jerking a thumb over his shoulder.
“Not that I know of,” I said.
“I’m gonna hit the gym foist. I wanna lose these love handles, drop my double chin, trim my waist down about seven inches. How long you think it’s gonna take?”
I want to say an eternity. I hold my thought and said, “Oh, about two to three weeks. You have high metabolism. I can tell.”
A voice from the back.
“O’Leary, use wanna go out wit Gina Abbrighi? I can fix use up. She jus got done wit a bad breakup so use two got something in common,” said LC.
Yah, nobody likes either one. My thought remained silent.
I thought I heard the B word coming from the back seat, but I’m not sure and besides, it’s a family blog.
“Feed her donuts, O’Leary. She loves them. She’d like a dozen donuts more than a dozen roses,” said La Flor in a faux sincere voice.
“Gives me a week to go to them gym. I tink I’ll start laying off broccoli and spinach. Those go straight from the lips to the hips,” said O’Leary.
“Where’d you hear that?” I asked.
“From Joey G. He owns Joey’s donut shop.”
O’Leary felt his cell vibrate. He took it out of his pocket. Turned it on, read the text message. “French Furs was hit on the other side of town.”
O’Leary turned to the backseat, “They got some smarts; don’t know how they figured we’d be watching dis place; they hit Frenchy’s Furs on the udder side of town.”
“We’ll stay a few more minutes O’Leary in case they try to hit the Fur Palace knowing you left,” said La Flor.
“Use got brains to go wit that beauty,” said O’Leary as he closed the passenger side door.
“Besides, LC and me have a little unfinished business. Ray, keep watching the Fur Palace and turn the music up high.”
I don’t even have a cold cup of lousy coffee like they do on a TV stakeout.