I think La Flor has found her niche in life, disrupting the lives of others. She’s really good at it. I think it is a gift. It’s not a gift I want or would regift. LC is her ally. He grovels. He jumps when she wants him to jump. And, he’s being groomed to be head of the DiMarco family when Big Carmen takes leave. La Flor encourages LC’s work for the family, she thinks LC is a saint. I’ll let you be the judge. Then we have O’Leary, the donut eating, bad coffee drinking, Irish cop. Today’s episode begins with La Flor and LC sitting on one side of the dining room table. O’Leary and Carmela sitting opposite, and I am at the table’s end or head, whatever.
“Tanks for invite to dinner. I love pizza almost as much as I loves donuts,” said O’Leary pushing one piece of pizza into his mouth and reaching for another.
La Flor look at Carmela who was staring at O’Leary’s conveyer belt in action. La Flor said, “O’Leary’s been voted the most eligible bachelor at the police department. He scored high on all the biggies.”
Carmela turned to La Flor and said, “What biggies?”
“He’s a rising star. They’ve already tapped him to be chief. He’ll probably be mayor, a senator, maybe President with the right woman, which could be you,” said La Flor.
O’Leary wiped some sauce, a piece of pepperoni, a bit of cheese off his face with his sleeve. He looked at it and said, “I’m going have to send this shirt to the cleaners. You got a paper towel.”
I said, “That rolled up cloth with the tips of a fork, knife and spoon, that’s your napkin.”
“It is? I never seen anyting so fancy. Use knows some very high brow tricks. Pretty clever, right Farmella?”
Carmela turned to O’Leary, “It’s Carmela.”
“Who’s Farmella? I taught (that’s how he says thought) Ray said use name was Farmella.”
Why me? Why do I always get blamed?
O’Leary continued, “Use is the most beautiful member of the udder (instead of other) species I have ever had a blind date.”
Carmela, startled, looked at La Flor, “This is a blind date? I thought you said it was a quiet dinner with friends? What will TT say if he finds out?”
O’Leary ignored the comment and reached for a cream filled donut.
La Flor knows how change songs in the middle of the song she’s singing. She said, “Well are you friend with LC, Ray, and me?”
“Now you have a new friend, O’Leary.”
“But what about the blind date part?” said Carmela.
La Flor leaned toward Carmela, “Just between we girls (why she said this, I don’t know because LC and I were listening. I couldn’t tell about O’Leary, he was on his third course) he’s a better catch than TT. Just look at him. TT couldn’t keep up with him. And, you should hear what the woman at police headquarters say about him.”
“What?” asked Carmela.
“I’ll just say, because this is a family blog, you can’t put out his flame, if you know what I mean. I hear TT’s flame doesn’t burn that long. You can do so much better.”
“What do you mean. Flame? Burn? I don’t understand?”
“You poor thing. I’ve got so much to teach you and so little time. You are so innocent. A newbie. A glimpse of spring in a world that is rushing past you. Listen to me, I’m your mentor. TT is gone for a week, take O’Leary for a test drive. What have you got to lose?”
A test drive? Is La Flor nuts?
I’ve got to figure a way out of this conundrum. I’m going to grab a bag chips, some salsa, and see what’s on Netflix to clear my mind.