He’s Taking Selfies To Post On Tinder

Farlo’s riding a bicycle, Tina is running alongside him. Joey is running alongside Tina.

“How far are you going, Farlo? I think we’ve been running for a half hour,” said Joey.

“Wimp. The Kenyans run for hours. They’re running up mountains. They’re running down mountains. They run to the coast so they can run in the ocean. Take a hint from Tina, she’s not even breathing hard. Suck it up, kid,” said Farlo

“At least tell me more about our job. Who’s Harry J? Why do we have to rescue him? Is it dangerous? Can I decide after you answer these questions if I want to go?”

“You’re not cleared to know. Do I look like I know Harry J?”

Joey interrupted Farlo, “Does he spell his last name Jay?”

“No, it’s only a letter. Before you ask it, I don’t know what his last name is. Filo only give the amount of information he thinks necessary to accomplish the mission.”

“Doesn’t it bother you? It bothers me,” said Joey.

“You’ll never get ahead in the organization with that attitude.”

“I don’t want to get ahead in the organization. I want to see the lease agreement for the room you rented in my house,” said Joey.

“I can’t give it to you. I gave it to Filo.”

“Who’s Filo?”

“See that hill? Sprint up the hill. Tina and I will be waiting at the top with your electrolyte drink,” said Farlo pushing harder on the pedals and leaving Joey behind.

“Hey Farlo, this isn’t fair. You can downshift, I can’t,” Joey hollered to Farlo’s back.”

An hour later, Farlo, Tina, and Joey sit in Joey’s car in the parking lot of Heavenly Happiness Assisted Care Facility.

Farlo watched an ambulance wheel a patient in. Ten minutes later he watched an ambulance wheel a patient out. Five minutes later a hearse pulled up and two somber looking dudes ready for Halloween pushed a gurney inside.  Joey, who now earned his smart phone back, was taking selfies. Tina was photo bombing Joey’s selfies.

Farlo glanced over at Joey, “Put that thing away. Get your head in the game. It’s almost go time.”

Joey looked over at Farlo, “I’m taking selfies to post on Tinder.”

“You’re not ready for dating. You’re heading for one disappointment after another.”

“You’re jealous because I have good looks and a great personality. The two things you wish you had, no offense intended,” said Joey snapping another selfie. Tina’s head resting on his shoulder.

“I think Tina being in my photos is going to help. The ladies like a guy with a dog. They figure if a guy can take care of a dog, he knows how to make a commitment.”

“Where’d you hear that crap,” snapped Farlo.

“I read it online on how to pick up women,” said Joey.

“What loser wrote that?” said Farlo.

“It was written by a bartender. You know bartenders give the best advice.”

Farlo’s left hand shot out like a bolt of lightning. He snagged Joey’s smart phone and stuck it in his pants’ pocket.

“What are you doing? I earned it back. Give it to me,” demanded Joey.

“You lost it for 48 hours.”

“Why?”

“Read the manual. It’s on page 73 paragraph 4,” said Farlo.

“But I don’t have the manual,” said Joey.

“Tough luck. We’re going in. Follow me,” Farlo got out the passenger side door. Tina jumped into the front seat and followed Farlo. Joey got out the driver’s side door and came around the car. He positioned himself to Farlo’s left side. Joey wanted proximity to the pocket that contained his smartphone.

“Don’t even think about it, you could lose a finger,” said Farlo as he started toward the door.

“Do I get credit for initiative?” asked Joey.

“No.”

“What are we going to do?”

“We’re going to rescue Harry J. No more questions.”

Will they rescue Harry J. from the assisted care facility? Who’s Filo? Why doesn’t Joey have a copy of the manual?

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