Day: October 29, 2017

Joey walked up and down the aisles of the 9^th Ave Goodwill store. So many choices, he was a kid in a candy shop. The twelve patrons and eight workers in Goodwill considered him armed and dangerous and hid behind a counter. The manager went online and was checking Crime Stoppers. Joey stopped at a bin containing men’s boxers. He held a pair of boxers with palm tree designs against his waist, too big. He grabbed a pair of boxers with little poodles and held it against his waist, too small. And, just like Goldilocks, he held a pair of boxers with guppies and angelfish against his waist, and it was just right.

Farlo came up behind him, “You’re taking too much time, here’s your pants and shirt. Go into the restroom and change.”

“I don’t want to wear pink sweatpants and a hoodie with a toy poodle on front with a pink ribbon tied around its neck.

“Suck it up, kid. You’re showing your support to fight breast cancer. Think of other people besides yourself.”

“Who, for instance,” said Joey.

“Me, for instance. I don’t want to babysit you when I could be out with Nicole or my other girlfriend. Now move it. Harry J’s life is in danger and you’re worried about getting a call to appear on the cover of Men’s Magazine. You got another ten pounds to lose and muscle to build. Until then, leave the fantasy alone.”

“You won’t let up, will you?”

“No. Now hop to it before my size 12 finds a resting place,” snarled Farlo.

An hour later, Farlo, Tina, and Joey were outside the physician’s parking garage at University Hospital.

“People are staring at me. They think I’m a cross dresser,” complained Joey.

“Kid, you got to learn not to worry about what other people think,” Farlo snapped. Then he said, “You got any more complaints, take it to the complaint department. Right now, we’re going in and going to requisition a quality ride.”

“Just like that?” said Joey.

“Just like that,” answered Farlo as he ducked under the gate and was inside the parking garage. Tina followed, but did not have to duck under the gate. Joey hollered, I’ll wait outside and make sure the coast is clear.”

From inside the parking garage, “One more word, and Tina’s going to have a piece of rump steak, raw.”

“Okay, I’m coming.”

Farlo, Tina, and Joey walked up two flights of stairs. Farlo took them two at a time. Tina took them three at a time. Joey held onto the railing and took them one at a time.

“We almost there?” panted Joey as he neared the second-floor landing.

Farlo and Tina waited for him. “You’re an anchor, kid. You’re still out of shape.”

“True, but I’m getting better,” said Joey.

Farlo opened the door to the second level, he turned to his right and began walking down the rows of BMWs, Lexus, Mercedes, and an occasional Porsche,

“What are you looking for? They all look nice,” said Joey.

Farlo kept walking, Tina kept walking next to Farlo, and Joey trailed. Farlo stopped behind a new BMW, “This is the one I want.”

“Why did you choose this one?” asked Joey.

Farlo pointed to the vanity plate on the rear bumper of the BMW, DrBigBucks.

“Something wrong with that?” asked Joey.

“You ever deal with medical profession? They’re all about money, money, money. I’ll bet this jackass doesn’t do Medicare and only takes cash or gold standard insurance. Karma’s going teach Dr. Big Bucks a lesson.” Farlo reached into his pocket, pulled out a small black case, set it against the BMW’s door, tapped three times on the case’s screen, and the door unlocked. No alarm. Tina jumped in and went the backseat. Farlo slid in. Joey opened the passenger door and slid in.

“It still smells new,” said Joey.

Farlo didn’t answer.

Farlo placed the small black case against the starter button and tapped five different keys. The BMW came to life.”

“Where’d you buy that?” asked Joey.

Farlo turned to him, “At Amazon. I got it last year for $39.95 on Black Friday.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Right. Buckle up, kid.”

Where’s Harry J? Will they rescue him? Who’s Filo?