Mother is the salt of the Earth, that’s what I thought after she told Nicole give me a back massage. She said the massage would relax me and help to have a good night’s sleep after a stressful first day at work. I waited for Nicole soaking in the deep soak sunken tub. I closed my eyes and allowed the healing essences of citrus, lavender, cypress and cinnamon to gently draw the commonplace work toxins out of my body. I mentally envisioned J in the tub with me. The more I visualized J in the tub with me, the more I realized I didn’t suffer from any of the common male complaints about E D.
Unfortunately, Nicole stepped into the spa.
“Are you ready for me, Señor Marty?” Asked Nicole as she walked to the massage table carrying a tray of massage oils. “Señor Martin, are you ready for your full-body exfoliation with sea salt and oils your parents ordered taken from plants that will soon be extinct?”
Oh yes, Nicole, exfoliate me, my mind screamed when I turned to look at her. She was wore a tight white tee and short white shorts that went so well with her brown skin and a body produced in heaven. My erotic dream and fantasy were quickly becoming a reality. I thought for a moment, I might pass out and drown.
I placed my hands on the edges of the sunken soak tub to rise from the depths the purifying waters when a voice from somewhere inside my brain said, “Do you really want to do want you want to do?”
I felt myself nodding in assent at the thought.
The voice said, “What will J think if she finds out you’re unfaithful?”
I thought I’ll never tell her.
The voice said, “That’s what all the men say. Man up, Martin.”
I argued with the voice, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The voice said, “I’m your conscience.”
I said, “Who let you in? I don’t remember inviting you into my life.”
“You won’t sleep well tonight, Martin if you get out of the tub and have a total body exfoliating and massage and the ending you’re fantasizing about.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I screamed at my conscience. How do you know my thoughts?
“Oh, I think we both do and it has everything to do with a happy ending.”
“What’s wrong with that?” I screamed back.
“I’m not going to argue with you. Do what you want to do. Only don’t come crying to me help you out in the future,” the voice said and drifted away.
“Señor Martin, what is wrong? You want me to come over and help you get out of the tub?”
I stared across the spa into Nicole’s penetrating brown eyes. I wondered how much Mother paid her to forget about Antonio for a while. Mother has a heart of gold. The hell with my conscience. Mother always said a conscience is used by the rich to control those not as good as the rich. I decided to fire my conscience. I can always buy one. I’m sure they’re available at all the best moral superiority stores. Saks and Nordstroms must have a moral superiority section.
“You’ll be sorry?” echoed off the canyon walls of my mind.
“I will not!” I screamed aloud. They saw Nicole staring at me and wondering if I was dangerous.
“Señor Martin, your mother didn’t say anything about kinky. I only do that with Antonio,” said Nicole.
There must be a way I can change places with Antonio for a night. I’ve got to think about this. There has to be a solution. I started to push myself out of the tub when something happened to me that had never happened to me before. I’ve read about it. I’ve heard tales about it. It couldn’t be. It was. Don’t do that I internally screamed. I think I heard laughter from some far distance corner of my mind. In a space of seconds my libido disappeared, shrank. I sank deeper into the tub.
“I changed my mind, Nicole. I’ll tell Mother you did a great job.”
“You sure. I was going to give you the works.”
“I’m sure,” I said dejectedly.
“Okay, I’ll go home and give Antonio the works,” said Nicole taking the tray of oils, a beautiful body, and my fantasies out of the spa.
I sat in the tub for another hour trying to drown my conscience. I rationalized I didn’t have a conscience, it was J getting even with me by telepathically communicating with an unused part of my brain. Why did I let myself fall for her? Why did I ask her to marry me? I made my mind up when I go into work tomorrow, I’m going to call J into my office and break off our engagement. I’ll take an extra box of Kleenex in case she starts crying. I wonder if I should have protection? J might consider this a bad breakup. Maybe I’ll offer an extra five hundred dollars to get extensions or a pedicure.
I went to bed without saying goodnight to Mother or Father. I overheard Mother telling Father, our heir apparent has had a difficult day. He’ll sleep well. Nicole worked on him in the spa. I heard Father say, “Not a bad idea for a Father’s Day gift if you’re of the mind.”
Mother replied, “I’ll do it on one condition.”
“What’s that?” Father asked with a sense of urgency and hope.
“When we divorce, I get half of everything and I get to keep Oscar.”
How am I supposed to fall asleep after a stressful day at work, a malfunctioning libido, and thinking your parents might divorce? I reached for the emergency bottle of wine I kept nearby for situations like this.