Vinnie’s Mom Asks If There Is Any Hope

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Vinnie’s sitting on the floor huddling with Rupert and Dexter. Vinnie’s mom whispers to Vinnie’s dad, “Let’s end this. I don’t know how much more I can take.”

“You know what the psychologist told us, Dear. He said Vinnie is very creative and we need to encourage him,” whispers Vinnie’s dad.

“That’s true, but the psychologist doesn’t live with him,” says Vinnie’s mom.

“I agree, it’s all about finding the right balance,” says Vinnie’s dad.

“When do you think we’ll find it?” asks Vinnie’s mom.

Vinnie’s dad pauses for a moment, then says, “Lately, I’ve been reading a lot about these kinds of family situations.”

“And …” Vinnie’s mom encourages Vinnie’s dad to continue.

“Are you ready for this?” says Vinnie’s dad.

“Don’t tell me there is no hope,” says Vinnie’s mom. “Well ….?”

“You told me not to tell you,” says Vinnie’s dad.

Vinnie pops up from underneath the table. “No hope for what, Mom?”

“You have very big ears, Vinnie,” says Vinnie’s mom.

Vinnie feels each of his ears with his hands. He twists them forward and backward. He says, “I think they’re just the right size, Mom. You should see Marty’s ears, they look like …”

“Don’t say anything that is disrespectful about Marty. He can’t help it his ears are big,” says Vinnie’s mom.

“Mom, do big ears make you hear better? Because Dad doesn’t always hear what you say. So, I must take after you. Do you have big ears?”

Vinnie’s dad turns a bit toward Vinnie’s mom. Vinnie’s mom takes her ponytail out and lets her hair hang over her ears. “My ears are perfect for my head, like yours.”

“Why did you say I had big ears, Mom? Why, Mom?”

“It was only an expression because you hear everything.”

“You get five points for the answer, Mom. Dad gets minus five because he doesn’t listen to you.”

“What did I do? I’m sitting here minding my business. Let’s have the final question,” says Vinnie’s dad.

“You asked for it, Dad. “Did you ever smoke pot in high school or college?”

“Where did you get this question?” asks Vinnie’s dad.

“I didn’t think of it, Dad. It’s Dexter’s question. I think Monica’s mother smokes pot.”

Vinnie’s mom says, “You don’t even know Monica’s mother. Did Monica tell you her mother smoked pot?”

“No, Mom. When I was waiting for bus on Friday outside school. Monica’s mom and her little brother came to get her, she had to go to the orthodontist.”

“And …” says Vinnie’s mom.

“Monica’s little brother whispered something in Monica’s mother’s ear. Then she said, We’ll go pot when we get home. That’s bad, right, Mom? Should I tell Mrs. Navis and tell her to call the police?”

“Heavens no. The poor little boy had to go to the bathroom, that’s all. Some people use pot or potty with little kids,” says Vinnie’s mom.

Vinnie’s dad interrupts, “Can I answer the question why you can’t always do what you want to do?”

Vinnie glances at his dad, “Where’d you get that question, Dad?”

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