Vinnie Says, “Are we almost there, yet?”


The SUV pulled out of the Doggie Palace parking lot heading toward the Interstate. Vinnie’s mom says, “I’m glad you found your iPhone, Dear. When we get to a city with an Apple store we can see if one of the genius’s can repair it.”

Vinnie’s dad mumbles something.

Vinnie says, “Are we almost there, yet?”

Vinnie’s dad says, “We left Doggie Palace ten minutes ago. How could we be in Albuquerque, when it is over nine hundred miles away?”

Vinnie says, “We could travel on an invisible radio beam and be there in seconds.”

“That’s impossible,” says Vinnie’s dad.

Vinnie’s mom joins in, “Vinnie, I believe Dad is upset because you put his iPhone in Dexter’s water bowl. Do you have anything to say?”

There is silence for several minutes.

“Well? Vincent,” says Vinnie’s mom.

“Mom, it made the most sense. I didn’t want anyone to steal it and there was no other hiding place that was any good. I asked Dexter what he thought about putting it in the bowl and he said it was a good idea.”

Vinnie’s dad jumps in, “You know Dexter can’t talk.”

“Wrong, Dad. Dexter just doesn’t talk to adults because adults believe dogs can’t talk. This way they can talk to kids. Besides, Dad, I saw on TV the new iPhones are waterproof.”

“It’s not a new iPhone. It’s an iPhone 6.”

“Geez, Dad. It’s time for a new iPhone. I bet everyone at work makes fun of you having something so old. Even Gramma has an iPhone 7. And, my other Gramma has an iPhone 8.”

Vinnie’s mom taps Vinnie’s dad on the arm, “Vinnie’s making a point.”

“Mom, when is it lunch. I’m hungry?” asks Vinnie.

“It’s six-thirty in the morning. I have a snack bag up front with me, what would you like?” says Vinnie’s mom.

“I want a hamburger with fries and extra ketchup,” says Vinnie.

“Vincent, you are not getting fast food on this trip,” says Vinnie’s mom.

“Why, Mom? Why? Joey’s mom takes Joey to McDonald’s for lunch on Saturdays and Joey gets a hamburger and fries and sometimes he gets chicken McNuggets.”

“I’m your mom and I don’t think you should that food. It’s not good for you,” says Vinnie’s mom.

Vinnie’s quiet for a brief moment. Then he says, “Mom, do you have a pen and paper I can borrow?”

“Let me look. I like the way you’re thinking of doing something constructive with your time. Here’s an idea, why don’t you make a journal about our trip. You can make an entry every day. Or, if you want, you can make an entry every time you see something interesting.”

“Great idea, Mom,” says Vinnie reaching for the pen and notepad.

Vinnie starts writing. 

Vinnie’s mom turns a bit and says, “What are you writing, Vinnie?”

Vinnie looks up from the notepad and grins. He says, “Do you want to hear what I  have so far?”

“Yes, Dad and I are very interested,” says Vinnie’s mom.

“You sure?” asks Vinnie’s dad.

Vinnie begins reading, “First day of my terrible trip. Mom and Dad put Dexter in Doggie prison. They have guards with machine guns all around so the dogs can’t escape. And, Mom thinks Joey’s mother should be arrested for taking Joey to McDonalds….”

“Stop, give me that notepad,” screams Vinnie’s mom.

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