Grieving hurts. I’ve found that grieving moves into the background as I move forward. It doesn’t make the noise it once made, but it found a home in my soul. I think it’s that way for others who grieve. I learned not to judge how other’s grieve, it’s a private, sacred event uniquely experience by each person who grieves.
“M removed her hand, “It’s been four years since Peter died, Ray. I was like you. I wanted it over. My grief wouldn’t let go of me. At first, it wrapped me so tight I had trouble breathing. I quit wearing makeup because I couldn’t stop the tears from running down my face. I can breathe now. It took a little bit, but I started wearing makeup. I’m different now. But, I’m not over it. Oh, the pain comes and goes like waves on a beach. Sometimes the waves are small, barely discernible. Other times, you can take a surfboard to them.”
“I feel like I’m in a tsunami, M.”
“I didn’t experience a tsunami,” M said.
“You didn’t?” I asked.
Mine was more like an F5 tornado devastating everything in its path. Understand, Ray, what you feel is what you feel. You can’t compare it to what other’s feel. Everyone experiences loss in the same ways, just differently. Don’t judge anyone’s grief. You now understand what others feel. Let your compassion for others who suffer as you do grow.”
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Excerpt From: Dancing Alone: Learning to Live Again by Ray Calabrese. This material is protected by copyright