Vinnie’s Mom Must Be a Saint


Vinnie’s Mom Must Love the Two Men in Her Life Unconditionally . . .

Vinnie’s mom wraps herself in her burgundy bathrobe. Vinnie’s dad sits on the edge of the bed staring at his toenails and scratching the stubble on his cheek. Vinnie’s mom has her hand on the door knob, she turns halfway around and sees Vinnie’s dad beginning to rock back and forth. She knows if she steps out of the room, Vinnie’s dad will fall backwards onto the bed and be asleep in ten seconds. She takes three quick steps toward the bed, “Al, give me your hand.”

“Do I have to? I trust you. You’re so good in these situations,” begs Vinnie’s dad.

Vinnie’s mom takes Vinnie’s dad’s and gives it a tug. Vinnie’s dad stands up. “You can let go of my hand, Marti. I’ll follow you.”

Vinnie’s mom thinks, sometimes I have to treat you like Dexter. She says, “Come on, big fellow. You can do this.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure,” says Vinnie’s mom yanking Vinnie’s dad’s arm.

Vinnie’s mom opens the bedroom door. She pulls Vinnie’s dad toward the kitchen. She stops near the end of the hallway. Vinnie’s sitting on a breakfast bar counter stool. Rupert is on the breakfast bar counter. Dexter is on the floor next to Vinnie’s stool. Dexter is licking unseen food molecules off a large dinner plate. Vinnie’s mom whispers, “Dexter’s licking the plate with my tempeh and veggies leftovers.”

Vinnie’s dad peeks over Vinnie’s mom shoulder, “He must have been really, really, hungry.”

“Don’t go there, Al. You know it’s one of your favorite meals.”

“Uh huh, it’s right there with my other favorite meal, tofu, shitake mushrooms, and brown rice.”

Vinnie’s mom says, “Vincent, do you know what time it is?”

Vinnie looks at the clock on the microwave, “It’s 4:40, Mom.”

“What are you doing out of bed?”

Vinnie looks around and says, “Dexter woke me and told me he wanted your delicious leftovers. Rupert said he wanted pizza. They wouldn’t let me sleep.”

Vinnie’s mom walks over to the breakfast bar. “How long have you been awake?”

“Do you mean how long have I been awake or how long have I been in the kitchen, Mom?”

Vinnie’s dad says, “Is there any more pizza? I could go for a piece.”

“I’ll make the last frozen pizza, Dad. We can share it,” says Vinnie hopping off the breakfast bar stool.

“Not so fast, Vinnie. You are going straight to bed. You have a full day of school. You need all your energy. Remember, you’re class president.”

“No worries, Mom. Uncle Mike and me got a plan. It’s the perfect plan. Rupert couldn’t find anything wrong with it.”

Vinnie’s mom turns and stares at Vinnie’s dad who is now at the fridge staring into the freezer. “Vinnie where’s the frozen pizza?”

“I hid it under four bags of mixed veggies, Dad.”

Vinnie’s mom tosses her hands in the air. “I’m going back to bed. If you men want to stay up and eat pizza at four-thirty in the morning, be my guest. Just don’t complain to me when you don’t feel well.”

“Thanks, Mom,” says Vinnie.

“Thanks, Marti,” says Vinnie’s dad. Then he adds, “Do you mind making me coffee before you go back to bed.”



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