Vinnie Hollers, “I’m Back!” LOL



Vinnie’s mom sits at the breakfast bar nursing her third cup of coffee. She checks her iWatch, it’s 8:15 a.m. Vinnie’s bus should be arriving at school any minute. The voices in her mind begin arguing.

“The principal will call by 8:30.”

“What are you talking about? Vinnie’s the 4th grade president.”

“I hope he doesn’t get arrested.”

“For what?”

“Name it.”

Vinnie’s mom shakes her head trying to chase the voices away. She decides to go to the gym and workout with the CrossFit class. The workout kills, but it will take her mind off of Vinnie for an hour.


Meanwhile . . .At Kennedy Elementary

Vinnie jumps off the bus and screams, “Mrs. Mavis I’m here.”

The three teachers on bus duty, Mark Doolittle, and two drop-off parents stare at him. “He’s back,” says one of the teachers.

“I was hoping they moved,” says another teacher.

A third teacher says, “I prayed each day Dr. Cashman wouldn’t put him in my class. My prayers were answered, he’s still with Mavis.”

The three teachers high five.

Meanwhile . . . In the School Office

“I demand to see Dr. Cashman,” stammers Mrs. Mavis.

Mrs. Nokowski, looks up from her computer screen, “Mrs. Mavis, Dr. Cashman is busy until 9:30. I can schedule fifteen minutes for you. Who are these two men with you?”

“That’s between Dr. Cashman and me. I will not go to class until I see Dr. Cashman.”

Dear God, she hasn’t even seen Vinnie and I know it’s all about Vinnie. I wished she’d retire, thinks Mrs. Nokowski. “I’ll check to see if she can see you.”

Mrs. Nokowski presses the intercom button for Dr. Cashman. “Mrs. Mavis and two gentlemen with her insist they see you before school begins.”

Mrs. Nokowski nods her head, then looks at Mrs. Mavis, “She can give you five minutes.”

Dr. Cashman opens the office door and steps into the outer office, “Mrs. Mavis, who are these two gentlemen?”

Mrs. Mavis glances first to her right at a sixtyish balding man with a gut hanging over his belt wearing a Wal-Mart Greeter shirt. “This is Harold, he’s one of my body guards.” She glances to her left at a short, thin man wearing thick eyeglasses in black plastic frames. They match his official crossing guard at Homecrest Nursing Home shirt. “This is Cletus.” I want to warn you, they are both experts in martial arts.”

“Why do you need two body guards, Mrs. Mavis?” asks Dr. Cashman.

“I can answer that,” says Horace. “We’re here to protect Mrs. Mavis from a thug by the name Vinnie.”

“He’s only in fourth grade. And, he’s a very nice, polite boy,” says Dr. Cashman.

“You can’t tell, ma’am,” says Cletus. “I got two grandsons in fourth grade in another school and they’re pretty unruly.”

“Mavis, you don’t need protection from Vinnie Ricci. He’s a nice boy. He just has a lot of energy.”

“Did you say Ricci,” Harold and Cletus chime in.

“Yes,” says Dr. Cashman.

“We’re done. Mrs. Mavis you owe us for one hour’s work. We quit.”

The outer office door swings wide open.

“Mrs. Mavis, I’m back. Can I address class before school begins?” asks Vinnie.



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