The Lucky Canary ~No More Free Beers for the Boys



Legos comes back out to the bar, “You still here?”

“How come you don’t got an American sport on TV. I don’t know nobody who likes soccer. Everybody I know likes basketball, football, and baseball. If they got nothing to do, they like professional wrestling and boxing.”

Before Legos speaks, Tony Sales steps into The Lucky Canary Tavern. He looks at Legos and then at Nick. “Hey Nick, you forget to shave?”

“I’m growing a grunge to attract the ladies.”

Legos says, “I was wondering what that was. My first thought you had a fungus.”

“Nice,” says Nick.”

Tony looks at Legos, “Big crowd, Legos.”

Legos says, “Your buddy scares the crowd away. They’re afraid he’ll hit on them for a beer.”

Nick says, “Tony, tell Legos me and you gonna be millionaires maybe billionaires when we get it all together.”

“You two couldn’t put it together if there were only two pieces to the puzzle,” says Legos.

“What’s with the attitude, Legos? What did we do to get this disrespect?” asks Tony.

“Nick owes me thirty-six bucks and he’s got no prospects. You’re not much better. No more freeloading for you two guys until I see cash.”

Tony pulls out his wallet. He takes two twenties and a five and lays them on the bar. He says, “This will cover Nick’s tab and buy us a couple of beer apiece. Keep the change.”

Legos walks the length of the bar. He picks up the twenties and the five. He stretches his six feet five-inch frame, extends his hairy right arms toward an overhead light and holds a twenty up to the light. He follows with the other twenty and five. Satisfied the bills are not counterfeit, he stoops over, opens the mini fridge and pulls out four beers. He stares at the bottles. Three bottles have tops. One is missing a top. He picks up the topless bottle and stares into it. Then he growls at Nick. “You do this?”

“Me? I don’t even know where you keep the beers. Can I help it if you put an empty back in the mini fridge?”

“How’d you know it was a mini fridge?”

“It’s common knowledge. Everybody knows a bar has a mini fridge.”

“Yah, it’s common knowledge,” says Tony.

Legos pulls out another bottle and sets two beers in front of Nick and Tony.

Tony says, “Legos, you got a last name? I never heard your last name.”

“Who wants to know?” asks Legos.

“I’m curious, that’s all.”

“You know what curiosity did to the cat?” says Legos.

“Whose cat?” asks Nick.

Legos says, “You guys are never gonna make it big. You got as much chance as Nick had to be middleweight champ when he was fighting. What’d you get out of that, Nick. A broken nose? How many teeth you missing?”

Nick says, “I had eight knockouts and four wins by a decision before I retired.”

“How many times you get knocked out?” says Legos.

“Five times, but three of them I took a dive because I needed the cash to pay the rent.”

“A guy does what a guy has to do to survive, Legos. Nick didn’t get no breaks. He coulda been a contender. If you was a middleweight he coulda taken you out in a round.”

“I was a middleweight when I was in seventh grade and I’d like my chances then against either one of you.” Legos waves his arms in the air, “Talking to you two guys is worse than banging my head against the wall. Take your drinks over in the corner so I don’t hear nothing, because if I hear something it might be something I don’t want to hear or I am not supposed to hear. You understand what I’m saying?”

Nick looks at Tony. They shrug, pick up their beers and head toward a table at the back end of the Lucky Canary.


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