The Lucky Canary ~ Is It Can’t Miss or Can Miss Proposition?



Tony says, “What’s the big idea? How much we going to score? You got my attention when you called me last night.”

Nick leans in toward Tony and says, “I saw this educational program on TV and they said every great business starts with a big idea.”

“How come you watching smart stuff. It hurts my brain and I can’t think if I watch too much of it. Remember how we used to cut class because being in class all the time hurt our brains?”

Nick pulls on his earlobe, “Come to think of it, I was getting a headache.”

“What I tell you?” says Tony.

“The reason I was watching was by accident. I never intentionally watch educational programs because of reasons you mentioned. See, I was lying on the sofa. I got a beer in my left hand and the remote in my right hand. I was clicking through the channels to find something good to watch like wrestling or an infomercial. When I get to the educational channel my remote dies. I was too tired to get up and get the batteries so I left it on.”

“Tell me something, Nick. How do you drink beer from a can while you are lying down? It’s always been one of my goals but I can’t make the beer stay in my mouth.”

“It’s very tricky, I seen my uncle Carlo do it when I was over his house.”

“I know Carlo, he’s the man,” says Tony.

Legos thinks, I know Carlo and he’s a cheap hood.

Nick says, “Because you paid my tab and because we are partners who are going to make lots of millions of dollars I will show you how to drink beer from a can while lying down. You got to promise me on all that is sacred to you, what I tell you stays a secret.”

“Even if somebody pulls my toenails out, I won’t tell the secret. I promise,” says Tony.

Legos reaches for a towel, sure it’s going to be needed in the next twenty seconds.

Nick lays his head cheek down on the table. His eyes focus on the two beer bottles in front of him. He reaches for a bottle with his right hand.

“You sure you can do this? I got ten bucks says you can’t,” says Tony.

From the bar, “I got twenty says you can’t,” hollers Legos.

Nick belches and says, “I got you both covered.”

Legos hollers, “You’re broke.”

Tony butts in, “I’ll cover for him, no worries.”

Legos says, “You’re a bigger fool than the fool you’re sitting with. You’re covering his bet against you. He wins no matter.”

“So?” says Tony.

Nick says, “You guys ready?

“Yah,” says Tony.

Legos shrugs and shakes his head.

Nick takes his left hand and extends his forefinger hooking the lower corner of his mouth. He pulls the lower corner out and up forming a volcano crater. He lifts the bottle and carefully tips the lip of the bottle toward the crater. A golden flow of beer drizzles into his mouth. When the crater is nearly full, he twists his head toward the ceiling and lets the golden liquid slide into his esophagus.”

“You dah man!” hollers Tony. “I wouldna believed it if I didn’t see it and I seen it with my own two eyes. Hey, Legos, you owe Nick twenty bucks.”

Legos says, “I never seen that move before. I’m keeping score on your tab, you can run up twenty bucks.”

Nick is sitting upright, “Thanks, Legos. This is the best day, ever. Tony, you keep the ten, in case I ever need you to bail me out of a pickle.”

“With your brains, Nick, we can’t miss . . .”

Legos from behind the bar completes the sentence, “Getting six to ten in the state prison.”

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