The Lucky Canary ~ He’s the Master of Cool

Tina stares at Tony, “You’re serious?”

Tony’s caught off guard, he runs his hand through his black long hair.

Legos says, “You think the broad is going to be impressed with your hair? Try washing it first.”

Tony turns toward Legos, “I wash it every day and the broads love my hair. They like to run their hands through it.”

Tina says, “Not this broad. I like a guy that’s cool. Doesn’t come on too fast. He’s sure of himself. Somebody like your friend.”

Tony says,  “ You’re not coming home with me? Jo Ann works late today, she’ll never know.”

Tina says, “What are you talking about? I asked if you were serious about Gaga being Lady Gaga’s last name.”

Nick jumps in to save his friend, “Tony’s right. If her last name isn’t Gaga, then why is her first name Lady? The last name always follows the first name otherwise, she could go around saying I’m Gaga Lady, but she doesn’t, at least as far as I know.”

Tina says, “I thought about it. Maybe I made a mistake about you being the master of cool.  If you think I’m going in with you two guys, you got less brains than a mouse who asks a cat for directions.”

“What’s a mouse doing asking a cat for directions? I don’t get it,” says Tony.

“I warned you Beautiful Broad,” shouts Legos from behind the bar.

Nick casts a look at Legos, “You know less than nothing.” He turns his head back to Tina, “Go ahead. Pass up a chance in a lifetime for a million dollars. Ten years from now you will still be sipping Coors and holding a dog leash while me and Tony and our women are swimming with the dolphins.”

“Can’t be the dolphins, Nick. The dolphins are a football team. I didn’t know you can swim. Me, I never learned. I just as soon ride a rollercoaster with my millions,” says Tony.

“I was only making a point,” says Nick.

“What’s the point you’re making, Nick?” asks Tina.

“The point being if you wanna dance the tango it takes two or maybe three, I’m not exactly sure how many it takes to dance the tango, but I like the sound of the word. Some words have a better sound than others and it’s the sound that makes the meaning.”

Tina looks over at Legos, “You got something stronger than Coors?”

Legos brings over a bottle of whisky and a shot glass. “It’s on the house. If you’re driving, I’ll pour one shot. If you’re walking, you can have the bottle.”

“Give her the whole bottle, Legos, she’s coming home with me,” says Tony.

“I didn’t say I was coming home with you.”

“You as much as said it because you didn’t say no. Around here, that’s the same as saying yes,” says Tony.

Tina looks at Legos, “Is that true?”

“I don’t do surveys. If you believe him, you deserve whatever you get and maybe you should go to health clinic after you go home with him.”

“I got not health issues. I had a flu shot,” says Tony.

“I ain’t going home with you. You ain’t going home with me. We ain’t going nowhere except where I wanna go. You understand.”

Tony says, “I’m not sure. You are hard to follow.”

“What’s the play, Nick. Make it fast, I’m getting bored,” says Tina downing a shot in one swallow.

“Let me asks you a hypodermic question,” says Nick.

Legos hollers, “He means hypothetical.”

“Got it,” says Tina. “I’m listening, Nick.”

“Me too, Nick,” says Legos.

“What is your dog’s name?” asks Nick.

“He don’t have a name. I never got around to giving him one,” says Tina.

“How do you call him if he don’t have a name?” asks Nick.

“I just say, ‘Dog, get your hairy butt over here and he comes running. Of course, I give him a treat when he comes.”

“See, dog is his name. Anybody can see that. It’s not too creative because he is a dog and that is his name.”

Tina thinks about it. “Makes sense. You’re kinda of smart in a weird sort of way. I like this in a man, Nick. Maybe you are the master of cool. Now what’s the play?”

“What about me? I’m cool,” says Tony.

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