Vinnie Asks His Mom, “Are You Talking to Me, Mary, or Jesus?”



Vinnie is sitting on the living room floor, a bowl of popcorn sits between his legs. Rupert sits to his right and Dexter lies on the floor next to Vinnie. Dexter’s head rests on Vinnie’s leg. Dexter eyes have a laser like focus on the bowl of popcorn. Vinnie’s mom and dad sit on the sofa behind Vinnie. Vinnie’s dad mutes the TV during a commercial break.

Vinnie partially turns his head toward his mom, “Mom, we’ve seen this movie a gillion times. Can we watch something we all haven’t see together? I already know how the movie ends. If you don’t remember, I can tell you.”

“Maybe we can watch the rerun of the Dallas Cowboys and New England Patriots,” says Vinnie’s dad switching the channel to the sports network.

“Dad, we already know who won. I have a better idea. Want to hear it?” asks Vinnie.

“Who won, I forgot. All I remember it was an exciting game,” says Vinnie’s dad thinking Vinnie will never remember anything about the game.

“Dad, the Patriots won. They always win. At least they always win when they play the Cowboys. I think the score was 52 to 7. Am I close?” asks Vinnie.

Vinnie’s dad switches the channel back to movie.

Vinnie says, “Harry’s going to say, “We’ve got to find a way to save Dillo. Marcia says, ‘I’ve got an idea.’ Beanie says, “Lets’ hear it, Marcia.’”

“Enough,” says Vinnie’s mom taking the remote from Vinnie’s dad and pausing the movie.

“What is your idea, Vinnie?” asks Vinnie’s mom. She adds, “Quit sneaking popcorn to Dexter. I made the popcorn for you. Dexter has dog food I measure out so he can lose weight.”

“Dexter’s all muscle, Mom. I always pick him when Joey and Larry and me play football,” says Vinnie.

“Dexter plays football with you boys? Isn’t that dangerous for him,” says Vinnie’s mom.

“No way, Mom. I taught Dexter to chase Joey or Larry when I give him a command. It wasn’t easy teaching him. It took seven bags of treats before he understood.”

“Where did you get seven bags of doggie treats? Don’t tell me, let me guess, Joey’s mom.”

“You really are the fourth smartest person in the world, Mom.”

“Thank you, Vinnie. Now, what movie do you think we should watch?” asks Vinnie’s mom.

“Mom, someone I really trust a lot told me this was the best movie ever made and they made two sequels to it. Have you ever heard of a movie so good it had two sequels?” asks Vinnie.

Vinnie’s mom says, “I can’t think of one  . . .”

Vinnie’s dad interrupts, “Marti, tell Vinnie no. Trust me.”

Vinnie’s mom turns toward Vinnie’s dad, “Oh, Al. This has got to be harmless. Who does Vinnie hangs out with, Joey and Larry and Sara. I might not like the way Joey’s mom gives the kids all the food they want, but they all are careful about what their kids watch on TV. What’s the harm?”

“Can we watch it, Mom? Can we?” asks Vinnie.

Vinnie’s mom smiles at Vinnie, “Why not? I’ve seen this movie at least ten times.”

Vinnie looks at his dad and stretches out his arm, “Please pass the remote, Dad.”

Vinnie’s dad extends his arm with the remote in his hand over his head, “First tell Mom and me the name of the movie.”

“It’s a good movie, Dad. You can tell by the title it’s a religious movie.”

“Religious? Are you sure?” asks Vinnie’s dad.

“Positive, Dad.”

“What’s the title?” asks Vinnie’s mom.

“The Godfather,” says Vinnie. “Can we watch all three movies? We can start with Godfather 3 and work back.”

“The Godfather?” shrieks Vinnie’s mom. “Who recommended The Godfather as the best movie ever?”

“Uncle Mike. I really trust him. That’s why I’m making my family project all about him. I’ll probably have to interview you, Dad.”

“Because I’m his brother?” says Vinnie’s dad.

“No, because you’re Uncle Mike’s mouthpiece and you always get him off.”

“We need to talk, now,” says Vinnie’s mom.

“Mom, you talking to me, Mary, or Jesus?” asks Vinnie.

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