🐤 The Lucky Canary ~ Tina Tells Nick He Lies Every time He Opens His Mouth


Legos says, “I’m not a shrink. Tell your sad story to somebody else. I’m going read the sport page. The Sox start play Thursday.”

The door to The Lucky Canary swings open, Legos, Nick, and Tony all turn toward the door. A therapy dog runs in dragging a leash, a long, pink tongue hanging out of its mouth, the expression on the dog’s face makes him look like he’s smiling. The therapy dog with the name, Dog, skids to a stop, drags his butt on the floor until he satisfies the urge, sniffs the air, looks to his left and spots Nick. He wags his tail six beats to a measure and happily trots to Nick. When Dog gets to Nick, he rises on his hind legs and rests his front paws on Nick’s thigh, and gives Nick a soulful, sad eyed expression that says, ‘I haven’t eaten in six months, feed me.’ Dog plays Nick like he’s a virtuoso violinist. Nick reaches into his pants’ pocket and pulls out a teriyaki flavored strip of beef jerky. He tears a piece off and makes Dog dance in a circle before giving Dog the piece of beef jerky.

“I’m teaching Dog to dance. I figure one day he will have his own reality show and I’ll be his agent and get rich,” says Nick.

Legos calls over, “Don’t hold your breath.”

Tina steps inside The Lucky Canary. She glances at Legos, ignores him and walks toward Nick and Tony.

Legos calls over, “Beautiful broad, keep Dog under control. He can’t run around free or drag his butt on the floor, it’s unsanitary. One more warning and I am going to prohibit Dog from coming in here.”

Tina reaches the table, turns and gives Legos a look, “You talking to me? You are talking to the wrong person. You got a problem with Dog. Take it up with Dog. That’s what smart people do.”

“Dog doesn’t know what day it is just like your main squeeze doesn’t know what day it is. By the way, beautiful broad, Nick propose to you?”

“Thanks, Legos. I thought you had my back,” says Nick.

“I like seeing your back when you walk out of The Lucky Canary,” says Legos turning to the obituaries.

Tina says, “He got two more days before I toss him out. That’s what we agreed to with the Tuna.”

“I work better under pressure,” says Nick. “I did my best on tests in school when I studied right before the test, you know, when the teacher was passing out the tests. Tinzi, thanks for not giving me the business. You can tell I’m working on doing it right.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Nick. I ain’t seen nothing yet makes me think you are going to propose,” says Tina.

Legos brings over a shot glass and the bottle of Jack Daniels. He sets it in front of Tina.

Tina glances at Legos, “You gonna fill my shot glass or what?”

Legos says, “Or what,” turns and walks back to the bar.

Nick reaches across the table for the Jack Daniels. Tina pulls it away from him. “You ain’t gonna fill my shot glass and think you are sucking up to me so you don’t have to propose.”

Nick raises both hands over his head in surrender pose, “Me? Never. I got a rule I live by, never suck up.”

“Do you have a rule that says, “I do not lie when my lips move? I don’t think so, because every other word out of your mouth lately is a lie,” says Tina.

“Tinzi, something bothering you?” asks Nick. “I’m here for you. You know that. You late? Or, you getting ready for it?”

Tina picks up the Jack Daniels bottle gives one thought of whacking Nick across the head and changes her mind. She puts the bottle to her lips and takes a long pull. She sets the bottle down, looks at Nick, “At least Jack don’t lie to me. He’s the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.”

Nick says, “I was gonna propose today, but I got sidetracked helping Tony. He’s on suicidal watch.”

Tina looks at Tony, “He’s on suicide watch? What’s he doing with his iPhone, looking for a place where we can dump his body?”

“You gotta hear his story. If you don’t think it’s serious, I will propose to you tomorrow, that’s one day before the deadline,” says Nick.

Tina cocks her head sideways, stares at Tony who’s staring at his iPhone. Tina says, “What’s the fool staring at on his phone and it better not be what I think it is.”

Nick grabs Tony’s iPhone and turns it around to face Tina, “Tony is on the Bad Girls Who Want to Meet Bad Boys app. He’s gotta get out of his mom’s house where he’s living. She got rules and Tony can’t live with rules, they crimp his style.”

Legos hollers over, “What style? A dirty sweatshirt, no job, and no future except prison?”

Tina looks at Tony, “Why are you looking for a date on that website? You know what you are gonna find?”

Tony says, “I’m looking for a beautiful woman who’ll invite me to live with her after we meet for the first time for coffee and give me a weekly allowance.”

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