🐤 The Lucky Canary ~ Tina Preposes, But Not to Nick


The Tuna sips his red wine. He says, “At one time neighborhood guys were stand up guys. No longer. That changed with this generation. They got no incentive to get married now. They don’t want kids. They don’t know how to spell commitment. Well, they never could spell it since it was over five letters. They’re always looking for easy money. Guys like Nick think they hit the relationship lottery when they land a broad as beautiful and thoughtful as you and gets to move in with her. I used to think Nick had potential, when I see how is treating you I am questioning it. The more I see of him, I’m looking at an empty bucket.”

“Tinzi, Tinzi, Tinzi, I admit my bucket is empty. I’m holding on for dear life. Don’t let go, I’ll drown,” says Nick.

Tina looks at Nick, looks down at her shot glass, refills it, knocks the shot back and wipes her lips with the back of her hand, “Drown.”

“I like your attitude, beautiful broad,” says Tuna.

Tony touches Nick’s forearm, “I think Tune is on Tina’s side.”

The Tuna touches Tina’s forearm, “Beautiful broad. You are released from giving your word to me.”

Tina throws her arms around Tuna, “I never proposed to nobody, Tuna. I’m gonna make an exception. Please marry me. There’s no law against love.”

Nick says, “What about us? What about the good times we’ve had? What about the dreams we got about opening an Italian, Mexican, and Jewish deli?”

Legos says, “An Italian, Mexican and Jewish deli? What are you going to do, serve kosher meatballs in a burrito?”

“That’s a can’t miss, can’t miss idea, Legos. I wish I thought of it,” says Joey.

“Joey likes it, it’s guaranteed to miss,” says Legos returning to the Herald sports page.

“Tinzi, Tinzi, Tinzi, time stood still when I first saw you. There’s nothing I’d change about you,” says Nick.

Tina leans forward on her arms toward Nick. “Nick, I hate you and I love you. I can’t stand being with you and I can’t stand being away from you. I want to toss you out and I want to drag you back in after I toss you out. Tuna, what is wrong with me? I’m riding on a roller coaster of love and I’m hanging on for dear life.”

“Nick’s got what I don’t got and will never get. How can I get a woman like the beautiful broad? If the beautiful broad was my woman, I’d catch the first plane to Vegas to marry her,” says Tony.

Nick turns toward Tony, “You are supposed to help me, not dig my grave.”

Legos is watching this play out and thinking it’s better than watching one of the daytime dysfunctional relationship shows. Legos is wondering if there’s a way he can charge admission to watch the table.

Tuna says, “Beautiful broad, what you got going is a battle between falling in love and falling out of love. It’s not pretty. I figure Nick’s got no more than thirty-six hours before falling out of love wins and he’ll be home living with mama.”

“No, no, no. I don’t want to live with my mom. She’s worse than Tony’s mom. I’ll have to get a haircut. She’ll drag me to daily mass. I’ll have to go to Friday afternoon bingo with her. It will be a living hell,” says a dejected Nick.

Tina plants a kiss on Tuna’s cheek, “I’m gonna give you my number in case, God forbid, anything happens to Maria. I feel better. I’m not begging the fool to marry me. If he wants to propose he can propose. If he don’t want to propose, he can move out and move in with his momma.”

“I need more time, Tinzi,” pleads Nick.

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