🐤 The Lucky Canary ~ Tony’s Running Low on Will Power


A five-foot two, stick of dynamite, steps through the doorway carrying a large tray of assorted biscotti’s, fresh mozzarella and provolone slices, crackers, and crusty Italian bread slices. She’s wearing fashion sunglasses, jeans with frayed knees riding low on her hips. A Red Sox ball cap with a B in the center practically covers her purple and day glow hair. Her ponytail dangles through the ballcap loop. She stops a step inside The Lucky Canary and spits out, “You call for a delivery from Astudos?”

Legos looks up from the paper, “That was quick.”

“Duh! We’re next door. You gonna tip me or do I leave the tray on the floor?”

From the table, “Bianca! When did you get back in town?” says Tony.

The Tuna doesn’t turn around, he mumbles, “Stella is a step up.”

Tina turns her head toward Bianca, “Bring the tray over here and don’t trip if you wanna see the sun go down.”

“Who’s gonna make me,” says Bianca.

Tina starts to get off her chair. The Tuna touches Tina’s arm and whispers, “Let it go beautiful broad.” The Tuna half turns toward Bianca and gives her the look.

“Opps, sorry. I didn’t see you, Tuna,” says Bianca carrying the tray like she’s carrying drinks to gamblers in a Vegas casino. Bianca steps between Tony and Joey and sets the tray on the table. She runs her hands through Tony’s hair tussling it. “Baby, Bianca’s back in town. Give me your hand so I can write my phone number on it. Call me around nine-thirty maybe we can go to a high class joint and have a few drinks and then use your imagination.”

Tony sticks his hand out, palm up. He looks at Bianca, his tongue hanging out like a stray dog who thinks he found a sucker who will feed him.

Bianca nibbles on Tony’s ear, sticks her tongue out at him and walks away from the table, Tina’s eyes follow her like a heat seeking missal.

The Tuna looks at Tony, “Get a grip, Tone. She’s no good for you. You won’t last two weeks. She’s worse than Stella and Stella is bad to the bone.”

“Who’s Stella,” says Tony. “I think I’m in love, Tune. I know Bianca trouble with a capital P.”

Legos says, “Captial T.”

Tony says, “Huh?” He looks at the Tuna. “Tune, I’m running low on will power. What am I gonna do? I love my mom and the way she makes pasta, but I can’t live there much longer. I’m dying a slow painful death.”

Nick puts his arm around Tony, “I’m here for you buddy.”

Tony looks at Nick, “Can I move in with you and Tina?”

“Don’t even give it a thought, Nick,” snaps Tina.

The Tuna says, “Tone, I sense what the problem is with you. Trust me, Mario Fanetti is going call you later today and offer you a job working for the city. You only gonna work from nine to noon but you get full time pay and benefits. I want you to take this job because it will help me.”

“What kind of job is it, Tune?”

“You are gonna be an inspector,” says Tuna.

“What do I have to do?” asks Tony.

“You gotta inspect,” says Tuna.

Legos thinking there are some things I will never understand. I need to get a key to this other world.

The Tuna pushes himself away from the table. He shuffles over to the bar. He whispers something to Legos. Legos hands him his cell phone. The Tune places a call with his back turned toward the table. Five minutes later, the Tune hands the phone to Legos and shuffles to the table. Tony is up ready to help the Tuna slide into the table. The Tuna sits down. “Tone, everything is gonna work out. You got to trust me. You ain’t gonna be priest because I don’t want you hearing anybody sins in this neighborhood since you can’t keep a secret.”

“What about my mom? She’ll be heartbroken.”

“What I say?” says Tuna.

“Trust me?” asks Tony.

“That’s the right answer. Now I’m gonna hear this can’t miss, can’t miss idea from Joey.

Nick says, “Tinzi, what are you doing with your ice pick?”

“I’m cleaning my nails, what does it look like?” says Tina.,

“You’re giving me performance anxiety,” says Nick.

“You ain’t gonna get no chance to perform until I get a ring,” says Tina.

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