🐤 The Lucky Canary ~ Tina Wants the Tuna to Take a Chance on Her



The Tuna stares at Joey, “You can’t talk with both thumbs in your mouth.”

Joey takes his thumbs out of his mouth, “I get nervous when I talk in front of a group. Sucking my two thumbs at the same time gives me confidence.”

Legos calls over, “What group?”

Joey looks at Legos and says, “I’m an invert.”

Legos says, “You mean an introvert.”

Nick says, “Legos, you got to get an education, man. You know nothing about nothing. An introvert is what they stick in your arm when you go to the hospital. My uncle Frank was getting an introvert in his arm to give him glue.”

Legos says, “You mean intravenous and glucose. Why do I even try?”

The Tuna looks at Legos, “It’s your cross, Legos until you learn you ain’t gonna make a brick until you bake it in the oven.”

Tony taps Nick on the shoulder, “What’s Tune talking about?”

“Don’t bother me, Tony. I’m watching Tinzi clean her nails with the ice pick.”

“Basta, enough,” says the Tuna. “I gotta hear the can’t miss, can’t miss idea. No pressure Joey, if this is another dumb idea you ain’t thought out, I’m gonna have you banned from The Lucky Canary for life. I don’t want you to feel any pressure.”

Joey starts sucking both thumbs.

“Tone, yank Joey’s thumbs out of his mouth,” says the Tuna.

Joey takes his thumbs out, “I’m under control, Tuna. What I got to tell you is top secret. It’s so top secret even the CMA don’t know it.”

Legos calls over, “You mean CIA.”

The Tuna nods to Tina, she fills his shot glass. The Tuna says, “Thanks beautiful broad, you can read my mind.”

Tina says, “Is your mind telling you to take a chance on me. That’s what I’m reading.”

The Tuna laughs, “Your mind is reading between the lines, beautiful broad. Maria got the key to my heart and she hid it.”

“You can’t blame a girl for trying,” says Tina knocking back a shot.

The Tuna says, “Joey tell me this super secret can’t miss idea. I don’t want no interruptions from anybody for any reason.”

Tony raises his hand and says, “What if I have to go to the bathroom?”

The Tuna rolls his eyes, “Get up and go, don’t say nothing.”

“What if I have to go, can I hold it, so I don’t miss anything Joey’s saying?” asks Tony.

The Tuna knocks back his shot. Tina refills the Tuna’s shot glass. “One more word, Tone. One single word, and your punishment is to stay with your mom until one of you dies.”

Tony slaps both hands over his mouth.

“I shoulda said that sooner,” says the Tuna. “Begin, Joey.”

It happened last Monday, there were five us playing cards in the rec room. There’s no guards in there but they got seven cameras on the walls so you can’t do nothing. We can’t play for money so we play for candy bars. A Hersey bar is worth five bucks. A Snicker’s bar is worth twenty-five bucks. A Kit Kat is worth . . .”

“You were playing poker and what happened? I don’t want to know about the poker game. I want to hear the can’t miss, can’t miss idea,” says the Tuna.

Joey leans over on the table, “I gotta ask. Anybody here wearing a wire?”

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