🐤 The Lucky Canary ~ The Best Tony Can Get is a ‘Maybe No’ LOL


“Roxie, you member me and Nick. How could you forget us? Will you marry me?” says Tony.

“You’re rushing things. I don’t think I know you. I been out of the neighborhood for a long time. What high school you go to?” says Roxie.

“The same as you, Roxie. You lived in the apartment across the alley from me . . .”

Roxie interrupts Tony, “I remember. I remember. What were you in seventh grade when I was a senior at East? You were the two guys who were sneaking looks out of your bedroom window to catch a look at me undressing. Am I right?”

“Yah, that was us. Those were the good days. You look even better now,” says Tony.

“I thought you two guys would end up dead or in prison. Nick looks like he got the weight of the world on his shoulders. What’s his problem, the law after him? He got a court appearance later today?” says Roxie.

Tina dives in, “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with the fool. He don’t want to propose to me and he don’t want me to kick his sorry butt out if he don’t propose.”

Roxie puts the Johnnie Walker to her lips takes a deep pull, enjoys the burn, and sets the bottle on the bar. “The names, Roxie. I feel for you getting mixed up with a fool who probably still forgets to put the toilet seat down, expects you to pick up his clothes where he takes them off and then gives you his sweet talking, slick as a wet fish dribble to make you forget how big a fool he is.”

Tina’s eyes pop wide as silver dollars, “Tina’s the name. Pleased to meet you, Roxie. You previously date Nick when you was in the neighborhood? You describe him perfectly.”

“I didn’t date him, but I dated enough fools like him to know what he is like,” says Roxie.  Roxie picks up her iPhone, scrolls through her songs, picks one out, lays the iPhone on the bar and hits play. Roxie counts in a couple of measures then belts it out.

I was giving it up for his love,

Like a fool

I was giving it up for his love every night.

Like a fool

I was giving and giving and giving

Like a fool

And he was getting and getting

He was taking it all

Like a fool

I never saw it coming

Like a runaway truck

I never saw it coming

And, Like a fool

I cried when he left

You’re singing my song, sister. You are feeling my pain,” says Tina.

Legos says, “Roxie, whatever Lena is paying you, I’ll give you ten percent more and you keep all your tips. I want you to sing the blues at The Lucky Canary, Thursday through Sunday.”

Roxie raises the Johnnie Walker to Legos, “Deal. When do I start?”

“How about Thursday?”

Before Roxie can nod, Tony is out of his seat. He scurries to the bar. He throws his arms around Roxie, “I’m here for you. I won’t let anybody hurt you. I’ll be your security for free.”

Roxie pushes Tony away, “Get away from me. You don’t have a shirt on. You look like a deranged bear. Did you forget to shower today? Do I look like a fool magnet?”

“I’ll wax my chest. I’ll shower morning and night. I promise I’ll never leave the toilet seat up. I’ll always remember your birthday. I’ll be your fool. You look like a woman needing a real good time. Give me a shot,” says Tony. “How about going with me to Pelatroni’s for dinner tonight?”

Roxie runs her eyes up and down Tony, shakes her head, “No.”

Tony says, “Is that a real no or is it a maybe no or is it you don’t know?”

Roxie turns to Legos, “What’s he talking about?”

“You’re asking the wrong person,” says Legos turning back to the sports section.

Roxie turns toward Tony, who if he had a tail, it would be wagging at a hundred miles an hour. Roxie says, “It’s a maybe no.”

Tony says, “You won’t be sorry.” Tony turns and heads toward the door. When he reaches the door, he glances at Tuna and says, “Tune, I’ll be right back. I got to shower and put on a clean shirt.”

Tuna says, “Before you shower, take Joey to the medical center so he can heist a car to get himself back to Bridgewater.” Tuna looks at Joey, “Not a word to anybody serving time with you, not a single word. Nod your head if you understand.”

A moment later, the Tuna says, “You can stop nodding your head, Joey. Safe travels.”

Tina glares at Nick, “Why can’t you be more like your Tony?”

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