🐤 The Lucky Canary ~ Will Nick Propose to the Beautiful Broad?


Tina, Tony, Legos, Roxie and Dog all stare at the door. The Tuna sips his red wine. Nick steps into The Lucky Canary wearing new Red Sox logo t-shirt and jeans. He turns toward the table and announces, “Tinzi, you are the sunshine in my life. I don’t know what I wasn’t thinking or was thinking, I always get those confused. I know lots of guys wanna be in my shoes. Don’t tell them I wear a size ten and half double wide or a 44 in some other country. I am one of the lucky few who got to be with you. It feels so good to hurt so bad when I’m not with you. Is it safe for me to hug you and give you a kiss without worrying if you’re gonna stick your icepick between my ribs and twist it? If you’re gonna stick me, do it quick, don’t make a mess in The Lucky Canary. When I die, I wanna die in The Lucky Canary in your arms. I love this place, but not as much as I love you.”

Tina squeezes Tuna’s forearm, “Nick is working his voodoo. His tongue is working the charm that’s stripping me of my anger. I’m giving in, Tuna. Tell me to suck it up, shake it off, and move on.”

The Tuna taps Tina’s hand, “Let the voodoo work, beautiful broad. It’s gonna do no harm. I might even make you feel better. Do me a favor, tell Nick he can give you a squeeze and hug with no fear of getting an icepick between his ribs.”

Tina whispers, “I’m gonna do it for you, Tuna, but if he breaks my heart in a zillion pieces I’m gonna go to work on him.”

“With my blessing,” says the Tuna.

Tina stands up and holds out her arms, “Nick, come here. You are the itch I can’t stop scratching. Dog sees Nick heading toward Tina, thinks Nick is heading toward him and is up on all fours waiting for a treat. Tina and Nick embrace. Nick reaches into his pocket and drops a piece of jerky on floor for Dog.

Tony looks at Roxie, “Roxie, can I sit on the stool next to you?”


“I wanna be near you. When I saw you, true love walked into my life,” says Tony.

Roxie says, “What was her name?”

A confused look glosses over Tony’s face. After a moment, he says, “You got another name besides, Roxie? Is that the question you are asking me?”

The Tuna gives Roxie a shake of the head and Tony a look. Tony says, “Opps.”

Roxie starts singing,

Love don’t live here no more.

I been bruised, betrayed, and lied to

Goodbye love, I’m slamming the door.

“No, no, Roxie, give love a chance. One more chance. You got to. I’m giving up my vacation for you,” says Tony.

Roxie looks at Legos, “What vacation? Does he have a real job?”

Legos says, “Tony means vocation. Sometimes, I think my vocation is being a interpreter for those two guys.”

Nick holds Tina’s chair, Tina sits down. Nick drops to a knee, he takes hold of Tina’s hand, “Tinze, I’ve changed my ways. I’ll change my style, I won’t leave my clothes on the floor. I’ll use flushable wipes. I’ll recycle my cheap beer cans. I wanna be your man. I want you to be my woman. I want you to have my baby when we decide to have babies. If that means getting married. I wanna be married to you.”

Nick reaches into his left pants pocket and pulls out a package of gum, “Opps, wrong pocket.”

Tina rolls her eyes.

Nick reaches into his right pants pocket, he pulls out a rolled up piece of Reynold’s Wrap. He lets go of Tina’s hand and tries to unwrap it. He’s making no headway.

Tina says, “Nicky, want me to get it started for you? I got longer fingernails?”

Nick looks up into Tina’s eyes and says, “Uh huh.”

Nick hands the Reynold’s Wrap. Tina picks at the edges gets it started and hands it to Nick.

“Thanks, Tinzi.” Nick finishes unwrapping the Reynold’s Wrap and pulls out a magnificent diamond ring. He holds it up to Tina’s face, “Will you marry me and not ice pick me, Tinzi?”

“Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,” says Tina tossing her arms around Nick and pulling his head to her.

From the bar, Roxie starts belting a song.

The blue are gone

Love’s shining here

I’m hearing a love song

The blues done gone

It’s time for a beer.

Legos says, “There’s breaking news on Channel 4.”

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