Legos turns up the volume.
Nick slides his chair close to Tina. Tina holds her arm out and lifts her hand so she can see the ring. “Nick, the ring is real. It’s not zirconium. Are we paying on credit for this? You’ll have to get a real job, maybe two or three.”
Nick shakes his head no. “No, Tinzi. I didn’t get on credit. It’s yours free and clear. No strings attached.”
“Are you going to prison for this?” asks Tina. “Will I have to do conjugal visits? I don’t think I’d be comfortable on a hard prison cot.”
“It’s all legal, Tinzi. I promise. Some day I might do time for some other crime, but this crime is one of the perfect ones.”
“I think I’m gonna cry and I don’t cry,” says Tina.
“I think I’m gonna cry,” says Tony.
Roxie is crying. Legos pretends to wipe sweat off his forehead but is wiping tears out of his eyes.
Out of the big screen TV, the hot newscaster, Marcy Stankowski stands in front of a Donut King Shop, “I’m Marcy Stankowski for Channel 4 Flash News. We’re the first, the foremost, and the fastest with breaking news. The news is breaking faster than the speed of light today and that’s pretty fast. I can’t even talk that fast.”
Legos shakes his head.
“First, the Dollar Store bandits are at it again. They hit the Donut King store on Riverside. One of the Dollar Store bandits disguised himself as a city health inspector and made sure all the employees were wearing masks. He even sent one employee home who wasn’t wearing a mask. The Dollar Store bandits are helping keep us safe. I don’t what anybody else says about them. Can we cut the bandits some slack? . . . Oh, just give the news? . . . One of the Dollar Store bandits marched the employees into a lavatory and made them practice washing their hands. What was weird, they had to wash their hands for five minutes and twenty seconds. While the employees were washing their hands, another Dollar Store bandit hit the register, cleaned out five hundred dollars. Then the hungry bandit reached into the display case and took out two cases of jelly donuts. He used the Donut Kings business phone to call DoorDash and had them deliver a tray of donuts to the neighborhood police station. That was a nice gesture. . . . Oh, just stick with the news, okey dokey. . . . He took one raspberry filled jelly donut out of the second tray ate it. He picked up another, examined it closely, then put it back. Weird, right? The police say the good deed by the Dollar Store bandits for sending them donuts will go in their favor if they are ever caught.”
“The next big story, we promised not to air it until now is really, really, really big. There is a winner of the Donut King’s big giveaway. We even had a crew in Donut Kings Riverside store when a customer bit into the winning donut. Take a look.”
Tina screams and points, “Nick, that’s you ordering a donut. You’re pointing to the jelly donuts. You picked a raspberry filled jelly donut. Oh my gosh, the ring was in the donut. You really didn’t steal it.”
Tony interrupts, “No, I was the one who stole it from the Donut King’s house.”
Stacy continues with the breaking news, “The lucky customer was Nick Abatti who says he was jonesing for donuts and decided to stop in the Riverside shop. The same shop that was robbed earlier by the Dollar Store bandits. Talk about lightening striking twice in the same place. I wish my boyfriend was jonesing for donuts, you hear that Larry.”
Legos is thinking the whole city is crazy.
Stacy continues, “A half hour ago, the police arrested the Donut King for trying to defraud the insurance company of two-hundred fifty thousand dollars claiming his wife’s engagement ring was stolen when in reality the Donut King put it in a donut and the police claim the Donut King had the fix set in. He didn’t count on Nick Abatti driving by and jonesing for donuts. More later.”
Tina, Nick, Tony, Legos, and Roxie lift their glasses, “To Tuna.”
Clink, clink, clink, clink, and clink.