🐤 The Lucky Canary ~ Bogey’s Pickup Line Doesn’t Work on Tina


Bogey spins on the stool to see who’s entering The Lucky Canary. A beagle sized rescue dog darts in, and slides to a stop on his butt. Dog quickly gets up on four feet, his tail stands straight out, stares at Bogey and growls. Nick is a step behind Dog, followed by Tina and Tony. Nick, Tina, and Tony stand side by side facing Bogey. Legos is standing behind Bogey. He places his index finger over his lips.

Nick says, “Dog can smell a shamus better than a bloodhound can smell bad pizza.”

“Yah,” says Tony.

Tina glares at Bogey, “I don’t know you and I already don’t like you.”

Bogey says, “Beautiful broad, the more you know Bogey, the more you get to like Bogey. Being with Bogey is like a potato chip. Once you eat one, you gotta have more.”

Nick takes a step toward Bogey, Tony grabs Nick’s arm, “Let Tina handle it.”

Tina says, “Why would I want to dance with a field mouse when I got the king of the jungle.”

Nick and Tony high five. Nick takes Tina in his arms and dips her and lays a wet kiss on her lips. When they finish the kiss, Nick helps Tina straighten up. The three amigos turn as if they’ve rehearsed synchronized turning and head toward the corner table followed by Dog.

Bogey half turns toward Legos, “The beautiful broad has an edge. What’s with the attitude? Bogey didn’t do nothing. Bogey didn’t say nothing Bogey don’t normally say. Seven times out of three hundred that pickup line works for Bogey.”

Legos leans on bar and says, “What pick up line?”

Bogey says, “Okay, it needs a little work, Bogey admits it.”

Legos says, “This is a neighborhood bar and you’re not from the neighborhood. You don’t mess with someone’s fiancé. If they’re living together and not engaged, messing around is okay if you’re not caught. Anyway, you don’t have the neighborhood look.”

“What happens if you’re caught messing around?” asks Bogey.

“If you have to ask, then don’t mess around,” says Legos putting drinks and glasses on a tray.”

“What’s the neighborhood look?” asks Bogey.

Nick calls over, “If you have to ask, you never gonna know. What’s your name and what’s your game?”

Legos carries a tray with a bottle of Jack Daniels, two shot glasses, two cheap beers, a crystal wine glass and bottle of The Lucky Canary’s finest red wine to the table. He sets the tray on the table, places a shot glass in front of Tina, a shot glass and an empty crystal wine glass in front of an empty chair, and slides a cheap beer to Nick and Tony. He motions to Nick, “Joey going to show up?”

Tony shrugs, “It all depends if he can boost a car. Joey told me they tightened security around the cars because somebody’s been stealing the warden’s car then returning another stolen car in its place. Joey says whoever is doing it is ruining a good thing.”

Legos says, “It’s Joey that’s doing it.”

“Good point, I’ll tell him the next time he breaks out.”

Nick glances at Bogey then at Legos, “He gonna cause trouble?”

Legos looks over his shoulder at Bogey who’s chug-a-lugging his third cheap beer. “He’s a private detective. He’s looking to catch the Dollar Store bandits. I told them they don’t come in here.”

Tony says, “Thanks, Legos. We owe you one, maybe four or six.”

“Whatever,” says Legos. He turns and heads back to the bar.

Tina tosses a shot down. Nick takes a sip from his cheap beer and wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. Tony fills his mouth with cheap beer and gargles as if he has a mouthful of Listerine. Tony swallows it, then burps. “Man, you can’t beat cheap beer.”

“Bogey’s with you,” says Bogey from the bar.

Tony taps Nick on the shoulder, “He can’t be all bad if he likes cheap beer.”

Tina says, “Trust Dog. Dog’s neck hairs stand straight out every time that guy opens his mouth. Dog is kindest creature on earth.”

“Kinder than me?” asks Nick.

Tina gives Nick a quick glance.

Nick says, “My bad. Dog is the best.”

Bogey calls over, “You guys mind if Bogey joins you? Beers and drinks on Bogey.”

Tina says, “No.”

Nick says, “No.”

Dog growls.

Tony says, “Can we take a vote?” Tina give him the eye, “Opps.”

“What’s your name?” says Nick.

“Bogey’s the name and catching bad guys is the game,” says Bogey.

“That’s the longest name I ever heard,” says Tony.

Legos interrupts, “It’s Bogey.”

“You get baptized with that name? I never heard of no saint named Bogey,” says Tony.

“Bogey had his name legally changed when Bogey became a private dick,” says Bogey.

Tony says, “Hold on, Bogey. What you do in private is your business, don’t bring your trash in here.”

Bogey turns to Legos, “What’s he talking about?”

Legos glances up from the newspaper, he shrugs and goes back to reading the newspaper.

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