Meanwhile back at The Lucky Canary . . .
Tony’s scribbling on the back of napkins embossed with a yellow canary. He crumbles the napkin, tosses it on the floor, takes another napkin and starts writing. He stops writing, looks at the Tuna and says, “Tune, what word rhymes with Roxie beside Moxie. I know she’s got plenty of Moxie. Do you think Foxy is a good word?”
Tuna looks at Tony, then says, “Maybe you need to keep working on it.”
Roxie calls over, “Thanks, Tuna.”
“Don’t mention it,” says the Tuna. The Tuna turns his attention to Joey. “Let me hear your can’t miss, can’t miss idea.”
Joey says, “I got three of them, Tuna. These are so good I didn’t know which two to forget so I remembered all three.”
Tina says, “Tuna, I got five bucks says you don’t pick any of them.”
Nick says, “Tinzi, can you loan me five bucks?”
“What for, Nick, so you can waste it on some horse that’s not gonna finish in the top five?” says Tina.
“No way, Tinzi. I’m gonna bet on a sure thing. I’ll share my winnings with you,” says Nick.
“Why do I do this? I can’t say no to the fool,” says Tina reaching into her handbag for her wallet. She pulls out five singles and slides them across the table to Nick.
Nick says, “Thanks, Tinzi. You know, I’m a fool for you and I don’t do any fooling around. I got five dollars says the Tuna chooses one of Joey’s ideas.”
Tina sticks her arm out, palm up toward Nick, “Gimmie my money.”
“I can’t, Tinzi. It’s an official loan. I got witnesses,” says Nick.
“Tuna, help me,” says Tina.
“Beautiful broad, drop him in dumpster on the way home,” says the Tuna. The Tuna gives Nick a look.
“I was only kidding. Can’t anyone take a joke? That’s what’s wrong with country. What the country needs is a giant enigma to get rid of all the negative stuff,” says Nick handing the five singles back to Tina.
Legos calls over, “I think you mean enema.”
Nick says, “I don’t have no enemas. I only got friends.”
Tony glances up from The Lucky Canary embossed napkins, “Giving the whole country an enigma is a great idea, Nick. It could be worth millions.”
Roxie looks at Legos, “Did I hear right? Nick wants the whole country to have a giant enigma but he really means enema?”
Legos is busy laughing and wiping tears away from his eyes. “It could be worth millions,” Legos manages to spit out before going back into hysterics.
Tina takes the five singles from Nick, “What’s Tony writing?”
Nick looks over toward Tony, “He’s writing music for Roxie. If he’s not writing music for Roxie, I can tell by the way he is constipating, I think he is writing his first will and testimony.”
Legos, back into a semi composed state, calls over, “concentrating, not constipating. And, it is last will and testament.”
Nick says, “You’re wrong, Legos. When I sit on the can, I can constipate about lots of things. And, Tony never had a will, so this is his first will. You gotta think about things before you start contracting people.”
Legos says, “Correcting. Why do I try?”
The Tuna says, “Spill it, Joey.”
Joey stares at the Tuna. “You want me to spill my cheap beer on the table?”
Tina touches the Tuna’s forearm, “Let’s you and me leave for a week, I’ll give you the time of your life.”
The Tuna starts laughing, “You never quit, beautiful broad. Maria and me are tighter than Bonnie and Clyde. We are tighter than Thelma and Louise. We are tighter than Sonny and Cher before they split. We got a bond can’t be broken.”
“I’ll never stop trying, Tuna. You are the one man a woman can trust who won’t hurt her, make stupid bets with her, or play dumb and innocent to get her good side. Please, please tell me I’m first in line if Maria, God forbid, goes to her reward.”
Roxie glances at Legos, “Tina really have the hots for the Tuna or is this some kind of game they play.”
Legos bends closer to Roxie, “Tina would crawl on her hands and knees if the Tuna hinted he was available.”
“What about Nick?” asks Roxie.
“What about Nick,” says Legos.