🐤 The Lucky Canary ~ Tina Needs a Career Shift


Back at the corner table . . .

Tina taps the Tuna’s forearm, “Tuna, there’s gotta be a place for me in whatever you got planned. I’m tired of making burritos at Chipotle. I need a career shift. This could be the opportunity I’ve been waiting for.”

Roxie glances at Legos who glances away and puts a dish towel in mouth and bites it to prevent himself from laughing. Roxie grabs Johnnie W (for the uninitiated, Johnnie Walker) by the neck and takes a log pull hoping the burn will turn off all the laugh nodes.

The Tuna does a quarter twist, looks at Tina, slightly nods his head and says, “Beautiful broad, you are a key piece to what I have planned.”

Tina wraps Tuna in her arms and plants a wet kiss on his cheek. She releases the Tuna and says, “You are the only man who ever treated me right. Say the word, Tuna I’ll walk out on Nick and walk away with you.”

“Sorry, beautiful broad. Maria’s my soul mate,” says the Tuna.

“What about me, Tuna,” says Nick.

What about you?” says Tina.

“You still gonna be my friend on Facebook if you end up with the Tuna?” says Nick.

Tina says, “If a miracle happens and I end up with the Tuna, I will forget I ever knew you even if I see you.”

“Enough,” says the Tuna. “Tina, I know you are not working with a perfect piece of granite, but you got to make the best sculpture you can with what you have.”

“Even if it is playdough?” asks Tina.

“Yeah, even if it is playdough,” says the Tuna.

“I was hoping I was getting a piece of the action,” says Nick.

The Tuna is thinking how he’s got to be careful he doesn’t crack too may eggs for the omelet. The Tuna says, “Everybody got a part to play.”

“What’s my part, Tune?” asks Tony.

“Your part is to do what I tell you to do?” says the Tuna.

Tony’s eyes glaze over. He says, “What if I don’t know how to play the part how can I play the part? I can play first base, but I can’t play the piano.”

Roxie and Legos can’t hold it back and laugh hysterically.

“I wonder what cracked them up?” asks Tony.

“Have I ever given you a part you cannot play?” says the Tuna.

“Uh un,” says Tony.

The door to The Lucky Canary swings open, a voice calls in from outside the open door, “Bogey is here keeping the city clear of criminals, hoodlums, dope wheelers and dealers, grifters and grafters, and sassy backtalking kids and no account, good for nothing dead beat dads. Did I miss anything?”

Nick hollers, “What about double crossing, snitching, rat finks who hang out at Lena’s in the last booth?”

Bogey steps in, “There’s no such thing.”

Tina taps the Tuna’s arm, “Let me stick him. He’s nuts.”

Bogey takes a step inside, glances at Legos, “Six chilled, cheap beers for the Bogey. When Bogey is thirsty, he needs cheap beer.”

Legos says, “Where’s the cash?”

“Put it on Bogey’s tab,” says Bogey.

“Bogey doesn’t have a tab here,” says Legos.

“Oh,” says Bogey. He continues, “Bogey wants to know where he can find the Tuna.”

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