🐤 The Lucky Canary ~ Bogey’s Got a Tat


Roxie stares at Bogey, reaches into her handbag, and pulls out her iPhone. She taps her music app, counts three measure and catches Tony begins slapping the table to the beat of music. She muses, ‘that’s interesting,’ then starts singing the blues.

Some things you don’t and somethings you do

Some make you happy

Some make you blue

Mess with the flame

The burn’s gonna cause pain.

Tony stands up and puts his thumb and forefinger on his lips and lets go with a piercing shriek, “Sing it, Roxie. I’ll have another cheap beer.”

Tina looks at Tuna who looks at Legos who looks at Roxie who looks at Tony. She says, “What are you saying?”

Tony says, “I don’t remember. But you were great. Will you marry me?”

Bogey interrupts, “Bogey says he believes Bogey was talking before Bogey got interrupted by the blues broad.”

“Watch who Booger is calling a broad or Booger and me are gonna take it to the street,” says Tony. ‘

Nick gets up and wraps his arms around Tony, “Easy, little guy. The Tuna will take care of it.”

“Booger is making my blood boil,” says Tony. “Who is the fat guy who’s telling us about Booger?”

“Bogey says it is not Booger. It’s Bogey. Bogey does what Bogey do and Bogey hears the Tuna knows the Dollar Store Bandits.”

Tina says, “Who’s the Tuna? You talking with or without mayo?”

Nick says, “Carbone’s over on Stetson makes a great Tuna sub. Tell them to run it through the garden. They make their own bread, that’s the difference.”

Bogey eases over to the bar, glances at the stool next to Roxie.

Roxie says, “You’re not man enough to sit there. You wearing Old Spice? That went out with the paisley tie you’re wearing.”

Bogey sucks in his gut, hitches up his pants, and then lets his gut settle over his belt. He says, “Blues broad, Bogey got a tat.”

Roxie glances at Legos, “This is supposed to impress me?”

Legos moves down the bar and stands opposite Bogey, “If you’re not buying, you’re leaving, this isn’t the public library.”

Bogey says, “Who’s the old guy sitting at the table. Bogey think he knows something.”

The Tuna turns slightly toward Tina, whispers something.

Tina says, “The old man wants me to do his talking. He don’t trust Bogey.”

Bogey says, “Bogey wants you to ask the old man if he knows the Dollar Store bandits?”

Tina and the Tuna whisper.

Tina says, “He wants to know why Bogey wants to know about the Dollar Store bandits.”

Bogey says, “Bogey hears from the bad broad at Lena’s that the Dollar Store bandits hang out in this joint and the Tuna knows all about it.”

Tuna whispers to Tina.

Tina says, “Somebody rob the Dollar Store?”

Bogey says, “Bogey’s got to be listening to his police scanner, Bogey missed that one. Was it the Dollar Store bandits who robbed the Dollar Store?”

Tina whispers to the Tuna, “Should I tell Bogey to tell the bad broad she’s gonna get stuck between the fourth and fifth ribs, she wants to mess where she shouldn’t be messing.”

“Yah,” says Nick.

The Tuna whispers to Tina.

Tina says, “He says if you want to catch the Dollar Store bandits you got to start dressing like them, that will pull them out into the open?”

Bogey looks at the Tuna, “Bogey didn’t think of that. Bogey’s gonna get you a senior citizen discounts at a Chinese buffet if you show up before four.”

The Tuna whispers to Tina.

Tina says, “He says it’s even better if you sit in the Tuna’s car parked outside Lena’s.”

Bogey looks at the Tuna, “Thanks for giving Bogey a solid, old man.” Bogey glances at Tony. “You know something about the Dollar Store bandits the old, deaf guy left out?”

“This is the first I heard of them,” says Tony.

“How about you?” Bogey points at Nick. “You ever hear of the Dollar Store bandits?”

“Me? I heard of the Red Sox. I heard of the Patriots. I heard of the Celtics, but I never heard of the Dollar Store bandits. Why would anybody rob a Dollar Store when you can get more from robbing a jewelry store?” says Nick.

“How about you, guy in the classy orange jumpsuit. Bogey wants to know if you bought the cool clothes at the Gap? You ever hear of the Dollar Store bandits?” asks Bogey.

Joey thinks for a second, then says, “My clothes are made by my personal tailer. Do the Dollar Store bandits only steal dollars?”

Legos leans across the bar and lays a huge hand on Bogey’s shoulder and squeezes, “The interview is over. You buy a beer or leave.”

Bogey shrugs his shoulder out of Lego’s grip, he stares at the table, “The name’s Bogey and Bogey’s not leaving the neighborhood until Bogey nails the bandits.”

“Good luck to you and the Red Sox,” says Nick. He raises his cheap beer to Bogey, “Here’s hoping you have as good a year as the Sox.”

The Tuna, Joey, Tony, Tina, Roxie, Legos all join Nick. “Cheers.”

Bogey smiles, “Thanks. Bogey will let you know how he’s doing.” Bogey turns and heads out of The Lucky Canary.

Nick says, “The fool don’t know the Sox are so far down in last place they can’t see daylight.

Laughter erupts.

Joey says, “I was thinking of a hearse, nobody will question me when I take it in the prison yard. See you later today. You mind getting me a meatball sub with extra sauce and mozzarella when I come back, I got the craves for it.”

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