🐤 The Lucky Canary ~ Tony Admits He Doesn’t Have Much Going for Him


“Nick, you and Tony gonna work together on this project. Joey, when you come back from Bridgewater, you and me got a job to do. Can you get somebody to cover for you since I am gonna need you midnight to three?”

Joey says, “The night guard is Manny Reposa. Manny is a good guy, he’ll cover for me if I slip him twenty.”

The Tuna reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a roll of bills. He peels one off. “Give Manny a C-note. I don’t want you caught.”

“Can I give him fifty and keep the other fifty?” asks Joey.

“What I say?” says the Tuna.

“Opps, sorry,” says Joey. “What are we gonna do?”

The Tuna says, “We are gonna inspect.”

“Can I go with you Tune? I’ll drive. I got nothing else going since Roxie won’t come home with me,” asks Tony.

“Okay, you can be the driver. You check your car. I don’t want no problems with the tail lights, directional signals. Make sure your insurance papers and inspection sticker are up to date, you understand?” says the Tuna.

“I gotcha. Can we wear fedoras and eyeglasses?” asks Tony.

“What do you think this is, Halloween, and we gonna dress up like the Dollar Store bandits?” says the Tuna.

“Uh huh,” says Tony.

Tina says, “His head is thicker than a block of cheese. Let me be your driver, Tuna. I won’t make mistakes and I don’t need a fedora although I think I can pull the look off.”

The Tuna looks at Tony, looks at Tina, looks back a Tony. Tony’s wiping his eyes with his shirt sleeve. The Tuna says, “Why are you crying?”

“I don’t got nothing going for me, Tune. All I got is The Lucky Canary and you. Now, I think you’re gonna take away my job as driver. Give me another chance. I promise I won’t go to the Donut King’s shop for donuts and coffee. I promise I will check the car out. I promise . . .”

Tina cuts Tony off, “Tuna, take Tony. I can’t stand to see a grown man cry unless he is watching a romantic movie with me.” Tina shakes her ice pick at Tony, “You screw this up and something happens to the Tuna you are gonna look like I was practicing acupuncture on you.”

The Tuna says, “That’s settled. Now, I’m gonna make a couple of calls and set it up.”

“Whatcha want me and Tony to do?” asks Nick.

“I want you to listen and follow directions,” says the Tuna.

“I can Google directions, Tuna. Where we going? This will save you some time,” says Nick believing he’s helpful.

The Tuna taps his shot glass. Tina refills it, the Tuna tosses it down. Tina puts the bottle to her lips and takes a long pull.

Roxie taps Legos’ arm, “Where does she put it? She never seems drunk.”

Legos says, “I never seen anyone like her. It’s like she’s drinking water. It’s got to be a genetic mutation or something.”

Tony says, “I’ll keep an eye on Nick, Tune. I’ll make sure he’ll follow the directions he gets off Google.”

Joey says, “The warden has the Google app on his console. I always use it to find the best traffic route to the neighborhood. He’s also got a police scanner so I know where the cops are putting up a roadblock to catch the guy who’s stealing the warden’s car.”

Legos shakes his head, “That’s you, Joey.”

“Oh,” says Joey.

The Tuna says, “I’m gonna say this once and that’s all. I don’t want no interruptions. The only one I trust is the beautiful broad. You boys screw this up, I’m grounding you for two months. No Lucky Canary.”

Legos says, “There’s a part of me that hopes they screw it up.”

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