The Tuna taps his crystal wine glass with his ring, “Listen up. Everybody is invited to my Christmas party, Christmas Eve here at the Canary if it’s OK with Legos.”
This is the first that Legos heard of it. He says, “You want it, you got it.”
“Thanks, Legos. Everybody show up by six-thirty, Christmas Eve. We gonna have a good time and celebrate, no matter how cold it is. It’s got to be over by 10:30 so I can go home and go to midnight mass with Maria.”
Roxie whispers to Legos, “Is this an offer we can’t refuse?”
Roxie takes a long pull from Johnnie Walker.
Joey says, “Do we gotta bring a present?”
The Tuna says, “Presents? That’s why we got Santa. And, Santa’s Little helper’s.”
“Santa’s got helpers?” asks Tony.
“Yah, you and Nick,” says the Tuna.
“What about me? says Joey. “I can drive Santa’s sleigh. It’s got heated seats, GPS, a satellite connection for TV.”
Legos says, “Is this the warden’s car?”
Joey says, “Uh huh. If I take the warden’s care over to Ken’s auto, and Ken will paint it a different color and we can use it for a week before the cops get wise.”
Roxie taps Legos arm, “I thought Santa’s helpers were dwarfs.”
“Every place but in this neighborhood,” says Legos.
“What’s wrong with my car? It’s the one we use all the time,” says Tony.
“Do you got heated seats front and back. Do you got heat going into the back and into the front? Do you got a heated steering wheel? Do you got leather seats that don’t crack when they’re cold?” asks Joey.
Legos says, “Pride in ownership.”
“You got a couple of points, but I bet the warden’s car don’t got personality,” says Ton.
The Tuna, tired of the conversation, says, “If you show up with the car by 8 o’clock tomorrow night we’ll use it, Joey.”
“I’m still the driver. Tune says I am his wheelman,” says Tony.
“I don’t think you know how to drive a new car. You won’t know where the light switches are. You will probably confuse the windshield wipers with the directional signal. I already got all the stations programmed to my favorites. You know how to use a GPS?” says Joey.
“What’s a GPS?” asks Tony.
“It’s a GPS. Everybody knows that,” says Joey.
Nick says, “I never heard of a GPS. I heard of a STD and a DWI and a DUI, but I never heard of a GPS. What happens if you get caught with a GPS? How many years I’m gonna get?”
“You don’t get years with a GPS,” says Joey.
“What good is it, if you don’t get years?” asks Tony.
“Maybe you want to stay at Bridgewater and just come in on Christmas Eve,” says the Tuna.
“But, Tuna, being one of Santa’s helpers has been a dream job of mine,” says Joey.
“This is my final decision. We are going to use Tone’s car. You take the train from Bridgewater you want to be one of the helpers. Let the warden keep his car for Christmas. Maybe he got to visit family. We got to think of him because he’s been so good to you. But you got to be here by 10,” says the Tuna.
Tony uses his forearm to clear the tears off his face, “This is the nicest thing anybody ever done for me, Tune. I’ll steal a box of heated gloves for whatever you got planned for us.”
The Tuna taps Tina’s forearm. Tina fills the Tuna’s shot glass with Jack Daniels then refills her glass. They knock them back.