The Tuna rubs his temples. He always had a soft spot for Joey. Instead of telling Joey he’s nuts, he says, “What makes you think this is a good idea that can’t miss?”
Roxie taps Legos’ forearm, “I’m serious, age doesn’t make a difference when it comes to a guy like the Tuna. He is compassionate and kind. He could’ve told Joey he was nuts, instead he asks him to explain it. If Maria God, forbid, ever dies and Tina, God forbid, gets tossed in jail, I’m going to make a play for him.”
Legos says, “You’ll have to fight off most of the women in this neighborhood.”
Joey says, “Think of it this way. Say a woman can’t have babies because the guy she’s living with is shooting blanks. I’m pretty sure my guys can swim. They can do the backstroke, the breaststroke, the crawl, and the side stroke.”
Tina taps the Tuna’s forearm, “What’s he talking about?”
The Tuna says, “He don’t have a clue about what he’s talking about. It’s the same with all the guys in this neighborhood. They talk and talk and talk without thinking about it. And they act like they know what they’re talking about when they don’t know what they’re talking about.”
Tina says, “I understand that because that’s how Nick talks all the time. What I’m talking about is all the swimming things he’s talking about. That’s what doesn’t make sense to me.”
The Tuna says, “I don’t want to get into sex education now. But take it from me he’s talking about his seed reaching the eggs of some woman he don’t know.”
Tina pulls out her ice pick and jabs it toward Joey, “You talking about having an affair with women you don’t even know and you think this is a good idea?
Joey start sucking both thumbs at the same time.
Nick says, “I think I can help explain the situation so it makes sense.”
Legos whispers to Roxie, “You want to be dazzled by a level of intelligence even scientists cannot comprehend? Keep Johnny Walker handy.”
Nick spreads his arms out and places his hands down on the table. He says, “Joey being stuck in prison at Bridgewater got nothing to do all day but think. What he does is he goes into the incubator and he starts hatching ideas. He’s like a chicken sitting on an egg. Joey’s been sitting on this egg for about two weeks maybe three weeks. All of a sudden while he is sitting on the egg, he starts to feel the egg start crack. He gets up off his nest and checks the egg. The egg is right in front of him and he knows he’s ready to make an omelet.”
Tony says, “I love omelets. When I was living with my mom, she would make me an omelet for breakfast and put Parmesan cheese on it. She gave me a nice chunk of Italian bread with it. Is that the kind of omelet she was thinking about Joey when you were sitting on the eggs?”
Roxie takes a long full of Johnny Walker. Legos takes a long pull of Seagram’s. Tina and the Tuna take turns taking pulls of Jack Daniels.
Nick turns his attention towards Tina. He says, “Tinzi, if you are not ready to have my baby, maybe I could go in business with Joey and make us some extra money so we can go to the horse track this summer.”
Tina taps Tuna’s forearm, “I know he’s not drunk, he’s only had one cheap beer. Do you know if insanity runs in his family? I don’t want to see any offspring come out crazy.”
The Tuna jabs his index finger at Roxie so the crook in his finger is pointing at Joey, says, “The sperm bank idea is going to be a big mess. I’m going to tell you why. If one of your offspring from a woman you don’t even know turns out to be a serial killer your offspring will have your DNA. Maybe the cops will think you are a serial killer. You get arrested instead of your son or daughter. Since we are equal rights a woman can be a serial killer as much as a man.”
Legos taps Roxie’s forearm, “The Tuna has a way of talking nonsense to these three guys so they understand. He knows it doesn’t make sense, but he knows it’s the only way he can get through to them.”
Joey says, “What do you think of giving blood