🐤 The Lucky Canary ~ Nick Doesn’t Know He Doesn’t Know What He is Talking About



Stella Romano steps into The Lucky Canary wearing a dark brown, full length, sable fur coat, over the calf genuine leather knee, made in Italy, dark brown boots. Stella says, “I ain’t staying long. I wanted a last look at this place before my main squeeze buys it and tosses you all out in the harbor.”

“It’s the bad broad, Tuna, let me slip my ice pick in the rat she’s wearing. The rat won’t feel a thing,” says Tina.

“Stella, I didn’t know I was your main squeeze. When did we get back together? I’m getting married. You’re too late,” asks Tony.

Stella does the twirl, “You don’t have the cash to afford my lifestyle. After the new year I am going to be running the neighborhood with Ernie Testa.”

“Testa? Ernie Testa? I thought you was hooking up with Bogey?” asks Nick.

“You talking about the guy who always talks in third person?” asks Stella.

“Yah. That’s the one. Bogey says you’re Bogey’s soulmate. Bogey can’t live without you,” says Nick.

Tony says, “Yah. What’s Testa got that Bogey don’t got? Bogey likes cheap beer. He’s got a career as a PI.”

Stella opens her sable coat and shows off the mink inner lining, “Ernie’s got money, money, money. That’s what Ernie’s got. It don’t matter if he don’t have nothing else. I’m a good actress.”

Joey says, “You ever think about making a conjugal visit to Bridgewater? They allow them on days that end in Y.”

Stella says, “What are you doing here if you are in Bridgewater?”

“That’s what the warden wants to know,” says Tony fist bumping Joey.

Roxie fiddles with her iPhone, checks out her music, finds the background music she wants, touches play and counts in three measures.

You’re playing with fire

You’re gonna get burned

You think you got it all

Ernie is nothing but small.

I’m giving you the news,

Prepare for a roomful of blues.

Tony is off his chair, “You are rocking my world, Roxie. I promise I’ll make you happy. Say yes.”

Legos whispers, “He’s cute like a new puppy. Between Tony and his mom, you’ll go nuts.”

“Thanks for the reality check, Legos,” says Roxie.

Stella says, “I don’t know who you are singing about, but if it is me, I am telling Ernie to fire you when he makes this place into the hottest bar in the city.”

Roxie takes a pull on Johnnie Walker, turns toward Stella, “Want to bet your sable fur Ernie gets The Lucky Canary?”

Tina gets out of her chair and waves her ice pick at Stella, “You picking on Roxie, sister, you are picking on me. You and me are gonna take it to the street.”

The Tuna waves a hand, and nods his head to Tina. Tina sits down, “Let it go, beautiful broad. I got this.”

Tuna half turns his head toward Stella, “What’s on your mind bad broad? I’m listening.”

“If that’s the way you put it, I’ll cross my t’s and dot my i’s,” says Stella.

“I think you got it mixed up, Stella,” says Nick. It’s crossing the street and Dot lives on Crapo Street. She got a good job at Lombardo’s Funeral Parlor.”

“What are you talking about?” asks Stella.

“You, first. What are you talking about?” says Nick.

Legos taps Roxie’s forearm, “Stella is in over her head with Nick. He doesn’t know, he doesn’t know what he is talking about.”

Stella gestures toward Nick when the door to The Lucky Canary opens.

“Bogey’s back and Bogey on his soulmate’ trail . . .”

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