🐤 The Lucky Canary ~ Bogey Knows Faux Sable

18

 

Legos taps Roxie’s forearm, “Please tell me you know when 2020 will end. I can’t take much more.”

“Bogey, Bogey, Bogey’s dame is here waiting for Bogey,” hollers Tony.

Tony and Nick fist bump. Tony and Joey fist bump.

Tuna nods to Tina, she refills his shot glass with Jack Daniels. Tina doesn’t bother to refill her shot glass, she puts the bottle to her lips

Bogey turns toward the corner table, he says, “You with the imitation brown fur sable get out of Bogey vision so Bogey can find out who said Bogey’s dame is here.”

Stella twirls, stands with her arms akimbo, “It’s you, the third person talking PI who got me arrested for being a Dollar Store bandit. What are you talking about this is an imitation brown sable? I am not a dame. I am a broad. A very bad broad if you don’t get out of my way.”

Bogey says, “Bogey worked in a fur emporium before Bogey understood Bogey’s purpose in life was to be a PI. Bogey knows all about real and fake furs. Bogey also sold Italian crafted knee brown leather boots and Bogey can see you are wearing a cheap knockoff. Bogey knows knockoffs when Bogey sees knockoffs.”

The Tuna taps Tina’s forearm, “Sometimes, things work out without much of a push. I like the music I am hearing.”

Nick interrupts, “I don’t hear no music, Tuna. You got a supernatural power to hear stuff the rest of us don’t hear?”

Tony says, “I seen it before, Nick. The Tune knows things, hears things, and see things only someone one with super power got.”

“You do?” asks Tina.

The Tuna whispers, “You see who is talking and you’re asking me if what they are saying is true?”

Stella stares at her sable and runs her hands through it. Then she sticks a leg out and looks at her brown knee boot. “How can you tell I am wearing knockoffs?”

“Bogey don’t like coats made from animals on a protected nature preserve. Bogey thinks the knockoff looks heavy on his svelte soulmate. Not a good look.”

“It’s supposed to be heavy to keep me warm,” snaps Stella.

“Bogey says real Russian and Canadian sable is lighter than other furs. It got a different color. Bogey thinks this knockoff is made from dyed raccoon hide. Soulmate, whoever gave you this got a problem with Bogey. Bogey doesn’t like Bogey’s woman being taken advantage of.”

Stella takes off her coat, slams it to the floor, and starts dancing a combination salsa and tango with subtle undertones of righteous rage on top of the faux sable. The knockoff falls apart and the heels fall off her boots. She grabs hold of a chair, sits in it and holds her right leg up toward Bogey, “Bogey pull my knockoffs off. I want nothing from Ernie Testa.”

“Drinks are on the house,” calls out Legos.

“Mistake, Legos,” says Roxie.

“Why?”

Roxie points to Bogey.

Bogey says, “Did you say drinks on the house? Bogey will have a twelve pack of cheap beers with a bucket of nuts. The nuts make the beer zero calories. Lena tipped Bogey off.”

Tuna says, “Tone, get two more chairs for the table.” The Tuna turns toward Stella, “Bad broad and Bogey, join us.”

Stella says, “Tuna, I am so sorry. Will you forgive me?”

“It’s already forgotten, there’s nothing to forgive,” says the Tuna.

“Will you marry me if, God forbid, Maria dies? You are the only decent man I’ve ever met,” says Stella.

“What about me?” says Tony.

“What about me?” says Bogey.

“I’m first in line for Tuna if Maria, God forbid, dies,” says Tina.

“I’m second in line for Tuna if Maria, God forbid dies, and Tina gets sent away for life for sticking her icepick in Ernie Testa,” says Roxie.

Legos takes a long pull on a bottle of Seagram’s.