🐤 The Lucky Canary ~ Bogey Wants to Exorcise Nick’s Funk


Bogey waddles over to the bar, “The stool next to you taken, blues broad? Bogey wants to share Bogey’s happy vibe with you.”

Roxie takes her handbag off the bar and sits it on the stool next to her. She says, “My handbag has the stool.”

Bogey glances over at the corner table, “Bogey wants to know what’s with Nick and Tony? Bogey thinks Nick got busted and got ten to twenty at Cedar Junction.”

Tony looks over, “It’s worse, Bogey. Nick got life.”

Bogey says, “Bogey wants to know if Nick got caught dumping more than toxic waste into the harbor.”

Nick says, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Bogey looks at Legos, “Maybe Bogey will do the boogie over to the table and take Nick out of his funk. Bogey does exorcisms on funks. Bogey can tell Nick how get out in thirty years with good behavior.”

Legos says, “Good idea. Why don’t you sit at the table with them and spread your happy vibe.”

Bogey says, “Bogey will be happier if Bogey has two cheap beers to carry to the table.”

Legos says, “I’ll be happy to give Bogey two cheap beers if I see Bogey’s money for the cheap beers.”

Bogey pulls out his wallet and puts a ten on the bar. “Bogey’s running a tab. Bogey’s PI job is booming.”

Legos slides the ten and puts it in the cash register. He puts two cans of cheap beer on the bar in front of Bogey.”

Roxie says, “What’s Bogey’s doing?”

Bogey says, “Bogey thought you’d never ask, blues broad. Bogey’s tracking down grifters and drifters, deadbeats, those who got no beats, and those who come in on the off beat.”

Legos says, “You know what he is talking about?”

Roxie says, “Not a clue. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t either.”

Legos holds the ten up to the light to make sure it’s not counterfeit.

Bogey says, “Bogey got hired by the Dollar Store to find out who keeps breaking in and stealing fedoras and black plastic fake glasses with a plastic nose attached.”

Tony perks up, “Bogey got any leads?”

Bogey sachets over to the corner table, a can of cheap beer in each hand. He says, “Bogey’s sniffing here and Bogey’s sniffing there, Bogey’s sniffing everywhere. The only thing Bogey can sniff in this neighborhood is garlic.”

Legos says, “And, the Dollar Store paid you an advance?”

“It wasn’t much. It was a twenty, if Bogey promised not to come back to the store and question everybody who wants a fedora or plastic black glasses with a fake nose.”

Nick says, “Bogey can’t help me. I’m dying, man. I’m dying.”

Bogey uses his foot to pull a chair away from the table. He sits down and places his two beers on the table. He looks at Nick and says, “Bogey feels for you, man. How much time you got left before you got to report Cedar Junction?”

Nick looks up, “I’m not going to prison, Bogey. I got a terminal. Circle the date, Bogey. It’s June 10th. That’s the day my life ends.”

Bogey looks at Tony, “Bogey wants to know what terminal Nick’s got. Bogey’s got connections in the medical field.”

Roxie fishes in her handbag, pulls out her iPhone, taps the music icon and finds the music she wants. She taps the song, counts in three beats and sings:

Since I come back to the neighborhood

The blues is my business

And business is good.

Business is very good.

Everybody got the blues.

Nick wants to be free

It ain’t gonna happen

Cause she’ll put the icepick in above rib three.

Tony whistles, then says, “Roxie, you and Legos split, I’m available.”

Roxie says, “What about Stella?”

Tony says, “Stella is a friend. That’s all. We don’t love each other, we just like the sex.”

Roxie glances at Legos, “Is the neighborhood the asylum where they send all the lunatics?”

Legos says, “You ask them, they’ll tell everybody else is nuts.”

Roxie sips her San Pellegrino, “I’m trying to stay off Johnnie Walker until evening, hanging out near these guys makes it tough.”

Bogey sits down at the corner table, he drains a can cheap beer, turns his head toward the bar, “You got any nuts. Nuts zap the calories in beer. Nuts and beer gonna drive the gyms out of business.

Bogey raps on the table with his empty can, “Nick, Bogey is gonna give you the best news you will hear all day.”

Nick says, “I need some good news.”

Bogey says, “Bogey’s wedding present is Bogey doing security for your wedding to the beautiful broad for free. Bogey can deduct it as a tax write off.”

Roxie raps her knuckles on the bar. Legos says, “I’m ahead of you.” Legos pulls out the bottle of Johnnie Walker and a shot glass.

The door to The Lucky Canary swings open and . . .


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