🐤 The Lucky Canary ~ Bogey’s Going to Spell it Out Without Autocorrect.


Meanwhile, down the street at Lena’s Bar & Grill . . .

Lena sits at the bar working on scratch off tickets. Al the bartender, his back to Lena,  watches the big screen TV. Lena glances up at the TV. She says, “What fight are you watching? Those boys don’t have no tattoos.”

Al turns his head toward Lena and says, “It’s an old fight. I’m watching Sugar Ray Robinson against Carmen Basilio.”

“Basilio sounds like he’s from the neighborhood. How come I don’t know him?” says Lena not taking her eyes away from her scratch off tickets.

Al says, “They’re both dead.”

“How can they fight if they are dead? Did one of them forget to take a dive and the other help him up to beat the count? If big gambling money’s involved, I can see why they got tossed in the bay.” says Lena. She adds, “Al, Al, I got a winner.”

Al turns around, “How much you win?”

Lena says, “A free ticket. Don’t laugh. The free ticket could be the big winner. I heard of things like that happening.”

Al says, “ESPN is showing classic fights. I think both fighters died of natural causes.”

Lena says, “As opposed to unnatural causes?”

“Something like that,” says Al.

“One day, Al, my ship is gonna come in and I can get out of the neighborhood,” says Lena.

Al glances up at the door. It opens. Al says, “I think your ship just came in.”

Lena looks up at Al, “Really?”

From the doorway, “Scratch off queen, Bogey’s back and Bogey knows you have the hots for Bogey.”

Lena glances at Al, “Does Father Pat have confessions on Tuesdays? I got to change my life. My karma is all screwed up.”

Bogey sachets over to the bar. He lays a forearm on the bar and goes eyeball to eyeball with Lena, “Scratch off queen, Bogey’s got you in his headlights and his taillights. Bogey can see you are frozen in your tracks. You need a Bogey push to get out of the scratch off rut.”

Lena glances away from her scratch off tickets to Bogey. “I don’t want to get out of the scratch off rut. What are you talking about? I don’t see no headlights. I’m not cold, so I can’t be frozen in my tracks.”

“Bogey’s got the Boom diddie Boom Boom.”

“Is it contagious?” says Lena reading the directions for a win up to $50,000 scratch off card.”

Bogey says it’s contagious and Bogey is giving it to the scratch off broad. Bogey wants to hear the scratch off broad’s heart go boom diddie boom, boom.”

Lena says, “Is that Spanish? All I know is English and Italian,” says Lena.

Bogey says, “Bogey’s gonna lay it on the line. Bogey’s gonna spell it out without autocorrect. Bogey’s gonna set the record straight. Bogey’s gonna put all his cards on the table.”

“If Bogey is putting scratch off cards on the table, maybe I’ll listen for two minutes,” says Lena. Is that the only tie you got?”

Bogey stretches the tie out and glances at it, “Bogey’s wardrobe is filled with ties, shoes, pants, and sports coats. Bogey gets his look at the Just Like New store over on High Street.”

Lena says, “You know you have a mustard stain on your tie?”

Bogey stares down at his tie, “You think it’s too noticeable?”

Before Lena can answer, Al says, “Bogey. Lena’s busy. You want something, spit it out. We don’t got all day. I’m watching a championship fight. Lena’s trying to win her way out of the neighborhood. We don’t sell cheap beer.”

Bogey glances at Al and then back to Lena. He says, “Bogey’s got five bucks says the black guy wins.”

Al says, “You know I’m watching a classic?”

Bogey says, “Bogey can see it’s gonna be a classic.”

Al says, “Bogey, put your five bucks on the table. I predict the little white guy wins. And, in the rematch, the black guy wins.”

“Bogey wants to know if the fix is in and this is why you know the outcome,” says Bogey.

Al pulls two Sam Adams beers out of the cooler, takes the caps off and sets them on the bar. He picks up the five and puts it in the till.

“What about the bet?” asks Bogey.

Lena steps in, “What do you want, Bogey?”

“Scratch off queen, Bogey thinks you’re making his heart go boom boom,” says Bogey.

Lena moves her cards away from Bogey, “Al, I need a shot of tequila.” She swivels to face Bogey, “Bogey, you need a second opinion. I’m still getting over my last relationship. I don’t know if I’m ready for a new one. I’ll be on the rebound and we both could get hurt.”

Bogey says, “Bogey wants to know how long the scratch off queen has been getting over her last relationship.”

Al places a shot of tequila on the bar in front of Lena. Lena takes the shot glass and knocks back the tequila. She looks at Bogey and says, “Twenty-years.”

Bogey says, “Bogey’s here for you, scratch off queen. You can tell Bogey all about how this guy hurt you. Bogey’s a PI and Bogey can get the goods on him if you want to make him pay for a condo in Florida.”

Lena points to her shot glass. Al refills it. Lena knocks it back.

Lena says, “What else you got on your mind, Bogey?

Bogey says, “The word on the street says the scratch off queen can tell me the meaning to life.”

Al fills two shot glasses of tequila. Lena and Al knock the shots back.

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