🐤 The Lucky Canary ~ Joey Meets His Soulmate


Meanwhile, back at The Lucky Canary . . .

Nick, Joey, Tina, Roxie, and Legos all turn their attention to the large screen TV behind the bar.

Tony gestures to the TV, “It’s the hot one, Marcy Stankowski. She’s my soulmate. I am so totally in love with her.”

Legos says, “You never met her.”

Tony answers, “I can’t help myself. She’s got pouty lips . . .”

Roxie says, “Collagen.”

Tony says, “What college she go to?”

From the TV, “I’m Marcy Stankowski for Channel 4 Flash News. We’re the first, the foremost, and the fastest with breaking news. It’s windy. . . .  is the wind messing with my hair? What about my makeup? . . . Oh, we’re live. We’ll somebody shoulda said something. . . . Oh, the producer said live? I thought that meant that the body they found in the bay wasn’t dead and was alive. . . . Do I gotta go on with the breaking news? Okey dokey. I’m Marcy Stankowski for Channel 4 Flash . . . What?  . . . Oh, I already said that? That was a long time ago. Can I skip it? . . . This time, but not next time. . . . okey dokey. I’m standing in the Bridgewater minimum security prison warden’s parking space. The reason I’m standing in the warden’s parking space is because there is no car in the parking space . . . The viewer can see I’m in the warden’s parking place? You sure? Cut to the chase? What does that mean? Who am I supposed to chase? . . . Did you get up on the wrong side of bed? I always get up on the right side of the bed. Why are you drawing your finger across your neck? . . . Anyways, somebody heisted the warden’s car today. This is the eleven or fifteenth time it happened, I can’t keep track. They’re calling the bad boy a phantom. One guard told me, he’s sure it’s a ghost. That gives me the willies. I didn’t know the state sent ghosts to Bridgewater. I gotta sign off I got a nail appointment in twenty minutes. My nail tech gets upset if I’m late. Here’s a lesson girls, don’t make the nail tech mad.”

Joey says, “I bribed the guard to tell everybody he saw a ghost.”

Legos says, “You’re a prisoner. What did you use to bribe him?”

“I told him I’d take his shift on Saturday so he can go to the horse races,” says Joey.

Roxie says, “Let me get this straight. You are the prisoner.”

Joey says, “That’s right.”

Roxie says, “You are going to take the guard’s shift on Saturday in exchange for the guard telling everybody a ghost stole the warden’s car.”

Joey says, “It’s a can’t miss, can’t miss idea.”

Tina and Roxie rap their knuckles on the bar. Legos refills their shot glasses.

The door to The Lucky Canary opens. A petite orange jump suit walks in.

“I’m desperate for a cheap beer. Hurry, Legos, I haven’t had a cheap beer in two years.”

Joey says, “Linda, they moved you to minimum security in Framingham?”

Legos opens a can cheap beer and places it on the bar. He whispers to Roxie and Tina, “That’s Linda Pino, AKA, revenge broad. The way the story goes, she was living with Tooch Rozini. Linda finds out Tooch is doing double duty with Linda’s sister, Marta. Unknown to Tooch, Linda goes to Ernie Testa’s pawnshop and buys a gun with the serial number shaved off as well as unregistered. When she confronts Tooch, he whacks her, she pulls out the gun and empties it in him.”

“I like her style. She can’t be all bad,” says Tina.

Legos continues, “The DA wanted her charged with murder one. Then, the Tuna got involved and the DA for reasons unknown to mere mortals, reduces the charge to manslaughter. She got three to eight with parole possible after four.”

Roxie says, “Does the Tuna have his hand in everything?”

Legos says, “It’s better not to know what you want to know in this neighborhood. Know what I mean?”

Roxie nods.

Linda turns toward the corner table, “I got transferred to the minimum security prison yesterday. I heisted the warden’s car, this morning.  I got to be free. You cage an eagle, the eagle’s gonna die. I was born to fly.”

Joey says, “I’m the same way, Babe.”

Linda says, “Who you calling Babe?”

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