My heart was broken and shattered into a thousand pieces when my soulmate, best friend, wife, and lover, Babe, died. I wrote about grieving while I grieved to give an account of the emptiness threatening to overwhelm what remained of my defense mechanisms. I wrote about grieving to chronicle the emotional storms buffeting me. I wrote about grieving to connect at a visceral level with all those who walk the journey with me. And, I wrote about grieving to discover a path through the intense suffering I experienced and shared with those who also deeply grieved the loss of a loved one.
I began writing this book less than a week after Babe’s funeral. As I journeyed through the grieving process, I learned grieving and its soulmate, suffering, hurt like hell. At first, I thought I was unique in my suffering. However, reality peeled away the scales from my eyes and I soon recognized the millions upon millions who shared the same journey.
I learned those who grieve become invisible to many people. I now know what it is like to walk among those who grieve. In the past, if I caught a hint of their suffering, I kept them at a safe distance. I offered a short hug and kind words such as, “I’m sorry for your loss,” and “Let me know if there is anything I can do.” I now walk among them, invisible to those who have not yet experienced grieving.
As I grieved an incredible loss, the journey gradually unveiled its gifts to me. It gave me a chance to stand outside myself and see what had long lay hidden from me. It became an ongoing mentor, teaching me what is important and what is superficial in life. Grieving taught me that life is a gift and love is all there is.
I published my experience as “Dancing Alone: Learning to Live Again.” Recently, I revised Dancing Alone to offer a more reflective view of grieving. I retitled the book, “Grieving: Walking Through the Darkness.” If you or someone you know grieves, Grieving: Walking Through the Darkness, or, Dancing Alone: Learning to Live Again will help you or those you know understand that what you are experiencing is normal. Like me, you may never gets over grieving, but you will get through.
Dancing Alone: Learning to Live Again is Available from
Grieving: Walking Through the Darkness is available from Amazon as a paperback or ebook.