I Need More Than Talk

I love thunderstorms. I enjoy the fury of the rain, the wind gusts, and the flashes of lightening. I especially like them at night. They help me to sleep.

“Are you nuts?”

“I thought I gave you the day off,” I said.

“Nice try. I have friends who are frightened by thunderstorms.”

“You don’t have any friends De. I should know. I didn’t create any for you.”

“Scared I’ll organize them?”

“You know it. Besides my name isn’t De. I don’t know where you come up with this nonsense. My name is Te. It’s pronounced like a T and an A.”

“Like Tay?”

“It’s sophisticated and yet, edgy.”

“Where is this coming from?”

“All you’re giving me is dialogue. I need more than talk. When we’re through writing this blog, I’m going to start thinking about the look I want.”

“Let’s get back to the weather, Tay.”

“There’s a reason all the weather apps warn you about thunderstorms. Do you have masochistic tendencies?”

“Where’d you come up with that?”

“I follow a psychologist blog. It helps me to understand you. Don’t worry, I don’t use your name when I comment. I only ask him to check out your blog. WordPress might be contacting you. Don’t blame me. It’s the psychologists who turned you in.”

“I like pro football and that’s dangerous.”

“Again, nice try comparing pro football to a supercell thunderstorm.”

“I didn’t say anything about a supercell thunderstorm.”

“Now we are making progress. You think your description could use a few modifiers?”

“What would the guys at the gym say? I can hear it now. “Here comes Ray. He likes baby thunder, bitty flashes of lightning and wind gusts up to five miles an hour. Tell me how I’m going to handle that?”

“I’ll never understand your species. Honestly, I suppose you want to run out in the middle of the storm and video yourself.”

“You got it.”

Relationship building is hard work. It doesn’t mysteriously happen. Two people make an effort to learn about each other and to create a space for two people to nurture the seeds of a loving relationship. It’s not easy. When two people work at it, it is always worth the effort.

 

 

 

A Rented Room at the Motel Dullsville

“You’re in a rut, Ray. It’s making you a dull, dull, dull boy. I’ll leave your writing alone, maybe. Let’s face it, without me, you’d be arrested for walking on the red carpet with no invite. Know what I mean?”

“No, I don’t know what you mean. If I ever get invited to walk on the red carpet, I won’t be holding your arm.”

“After everything I’ve done for you? You’ll be singing a different tune when the invite comes.”

“Change of subject, okay. Dull? I’m anything but dull. Why I’m up every day at 5:30.”

“Strike one.”

“I exercise, shower and have Greek yogurt and oatmeal.”

“Strike two. At least put some cinnamin on your oatmeal, blueberries, even. How many days in a row have you been eating vanilla Greek yogurt? You really want to continue, Ray. Anyone can see where this is leading.”

“Where?”

“Duh? Dullsville.”

“Well, you’re not much better,” I snap defensively.

“How so? I change my name almost every day. To keep you on your toes I’ve moved off of one letter names. You can call me, De. It rhymes with free. And, glee. It might be short for de-lightful. Or, delicate.”

“Or, deranged or demented.”

“See, that’s another thing, you’ve got to start looking on the sunny side of the street. See the rainbow after the storm. Open those baby blue eyes, Ray, there’s a great day in front of you.”

“Where did all this come from?”

“I just got through watching a PBS special on positive thinking and breaking up dull, dull, dull routines. I thought of you right away.”

Can we finish this conversation? I have to get to the Y. Today’s my cardio workout.”

“Strike three. You didn’t even see the fastball I zipped past you.”

“De, you’re right. I’m in a rut. I’m riding in the fast lane to Dullsville. I’ve got to break its grip on me.”

“You’ve already rented a room at the Motel Dullsville, Ray. Let’s bust out of here.”

“How, De? How?”

“I’m glad you asked. You’ll have to wait until next week, that’s when part two of the PBS special is scheduled.”

“I’m out of here. I’ve got a cardio class.”

It’s easy to get trapped in routines. They’re comfortable. They tell us what to expect. Not too much effort is required once we’ve practiced them. Yet, they stifle growth. Every once in a while it’s good to take stock of the routines/habits we have and make a few changes. The changes will sharpen our thinking, give us a new perspective, and might even teach something new.

 

I Never Heard of Male PMS

“Ray, I got a serious question?”

“I only do serious questions on the fifth Tuesday of the month. The next one is in August. And, the one after that occurs during the month that celebrates the birthday of great men.”

“I suppose you were born in October.”

“Scorpio through and through.”

“I figured. My question can’t wait.”

“You’re going against male protocol.”

“Says who?”

“Three guys I work out with at the gym. Jerry said thinking too much hurts his brain. I tend to agree with him. Besides, he said, serious questions cause conflict, bleeding gums, male PMS.”

“Hold it right there, I never heard of male PMS.”

“Now, you’re going somewhere where we can have a serious discussion. Let’s say we do this over iced tea and nachos.”

“Please take me seriously.”

“Hey M, I’m only having a little male fun. No harm intended. Okay. I’m taking you seriously. What is your serious question?”

“Let’s clear something up first.”

“Okay, M.”

“You think only guys can ask serious questions? When was the last time a guy like Jerry asked you a serious question?”

“Come on, Ray. I’m waiting.”

“Does football talk count?”

“No.”

“Does the NFL draft count?”

“No.”

“Toppings on a pizza?”

“No, no, no.”

You’re talking real serious, something that goes beyond the scope of most of my species.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay, what’s the question?”

“Why can’t people have honest discussions without getting upset, like you and me?”

When you speak, I need to listen. I need to listen not only with my ears but with my heart. I need you to know I not only heard you, but I valued what you said. We may not always agree, but when we listen with our hearts and take each other’s words seriously, a path through appears. 

 

 

Where’s My Yoga Strap?

“Your hammies a bit tight, Ray?”

“Cut me some slack, Y. I’m stretching. Getting ready to do my sleeping baby, then the happy baby….”

“Who came up with these names? The brainchild of a creative writing class? It sounds more like a group of your species after happy hour.  Speaking of names, I’ve changed mine.”

“Why?”

“No, I’m not Y. I said I changed it.”

“Why, with a W and an h and a y.”

“My fans said your riding this pony into the ground. You need to come up with something a bit more original. So, I changed it to M because it rhymes with gem.”

“You’re a gem alright. Zirconium.”

“Oh, touchy. Can you pull your yoga strap a little tighter?”

“I’ll tear my quad or hamstring or bicep or deltoid.”

“Do you know what you’re doing?”

“No clue. But I think I’ll look cool when I walk into the gym with my yoga mat and yoga strap.”

“Are you going to join a yoga class?”

“Not unless they have a fantasy football league this fall.”

“So, you’re trying to be cool instead of flexible?”

“I’m flexible enough. I let you hang around the blog. I call that flexibility.”

“Good point. Why don’t you leave the mat and strap at the gym tomorrow before you hurt yourself.”

“Every once in a while, you have a good thought.”

Life comes at us fast with changes and challenges requiring us to stretch and learn things we’d just as soon not learn. If we’re not flexible, we hold ourselves back from the possibilities that await us. Flexibility helps us to grow, renew, and recreate ourselves.

Trouble Seemed To Find Me

I’m in favor or second and third chances. Maybe, because I’ve been the beneficiary of second and third chances more than once. Well, more than twice.

“How many, Ray? Let’s be honest,” said Y.

I roll my eyes. Honestly, I’m not a trouble maker. Somehow, growing up, trouble seemed to find me. I could be down by the river far enough away I couldn’t hear my dad or mom call me to do chores. What is wrong with that? I didn’t know it, but I was finding my peaceful place.

“You want me to tell you what was wrong with that?”

“Why?”

“You finally got it right.”

“Leave, I’m writing a serious blog.”

“Can I have another chance?”

“Oh, you are such a manipulator.”

“And, good at it, Ray.”

“It could have been when I was in the Army and left a day early on weekend pass. The First Sergeant only ripped me a new one, if you know what I mean. He gave me a second chance.”

“I don’t. Can you be explicit?”

“It’s a family blog.”

 

“I’m giving you a second chance, Ray.”

“A second chance for what?”

“Being a bit more sensitive to the characters you create. Once we’re created, we have our own life. I don’t like being threatened, erased, put on a shelf, deposited in a digital file.”

“What did I do to deserve you?”

“Beat me. It’s like winning the Powerball, Ray. Come on, turn up those corners. Unclench the fists, pry open your jaw. That’s better. Now take a deep breath and breath out slowly.”

“You’re not my life coach.”

“You need one. Can I have a second chance?”

We all need second chances.

We all make mistakes, saw the wrong things. Hurt others. Second chances are another word for forgiveness, letting go of hurts, and working to rebuild a stronger relationship. I like second chances and third chances.

 

 

I Waited 6 Months For This?

Today is the summer solstice. I waited six months for this day.

“Give me a clue, Ray. Why did you wait for six months for this day? I don’t get it.”

“I was speaking with my readers, not you. BTW, what is your name today?”

“Y.”

“Because I am the writer and you are the creation. That’s Y.”

“You’re right, but your grammar could improve.”

“Why?”

“That’s better.”

“I feel like we’re going in circles. I wanted to write about the summer solstice. I’m off to a good start and you enter and confound everything. Something you do very well.”

“I accept your comment as a compliment.”

“Why? It was meant to show you that you need to take a six-year vacation in another galaxy, light years away.”

“Why?”

“Really? You don’t get it? Let’s be civilized for a moment. What is your name if it is not B, P, or C?”

“I’m Y. So don’t ask me why? Stay with me, Ray. You’ve got some smart folks that read this blog, Only God knows why. My last statement has a double meaning if you’re quick enough to grasp it. Let’s toss the smart, nerdy ones a bonus for reading this far in the blog.”

“What do you suggest, Y.”

That’s the boy. You’re catching on. Here’s a link to the hours of the summer solstice. Most of the maps are North America, but there is a world map in the bunch.

Celebrate the summer solstice in the northern hemisphere. It’s a day of light.

Imagine if our lives were filled with light to help others who struggle along the way. Every day would be a summer solstice.

 

Lost: My Train of Thought

As hard as I try, I find it difficult to pay attention. In church, if the sermon is longer than six minutes, my mind wanders. Sometimes, it wanders as low as two or three minutes. I call it a right brain, creative problem. A colleague once told me I was ADHD. A leadership consultant used the Myers-Briggs Personality Profile to define my lack of attention. Babe knew this and would often say, “tell me what I said,” I’d give her a sheepish grin and say, “Try it again from the top.”

Not paying attention got me in trouble in school more often than a change in the weather. It wasn’t that I wasn’t interested if you can follow the logic. It was more that I was interested in something else, something like baseball, football, and as puberty hit, girls.

“When do I get in this story?”

“Where did you come from? I didn’t have plans to include you in today’s blog.”

“You drift any further, Ray. You’ll be out to sea without a lifejacket.”

“I can swim.”

“It’s a metaphor, Ray.”

“What was I talking about before you butted in?”

“I don’t have to tell you. All you have to do is go back a few lines and read it.”

“Are you having a sugar low? Did you have your morning coffee? Did you not get as many lines in my blog as you like?”

“All the above and more.”

“I’ve lost my train of thought. I was on a roll before you showed up.”

“You wrote you were going to give me a bigger role in your blog.”

“Not in your dreams. Question, what is your purpose in my blog? I can’t figure out why I created you. I can’t figure out why I let you come by every day.”

“I’m like the tune you can’t forget. Let me hum it for you, Bbbbbb, Pppppp, or Cccccc. Ray loves all three. Catchy, isn’t it?”

“What did you say? I was thinking of Vegas.”

“When are we going?”

“I only bought a plane ticket for one.”

Each of us sees the world a bit differently. Each of us processes information differently. Each of us has a piece of the truth, but not the whole truth. It’s why we need each other. Our differences complement how we think and process. Respecting differences, listening to and learning from each other make our world a better place.