Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged. Source

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere. Source

I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts. Source

I wanted to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right … More

A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. “My life is a … More

Why did the burglar shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway.

Woman 1: “What would you do if you sent your husband to bring potatoes up from the cellar and he … More

The cable repairman was on my street and asked me what time it was. I told him it is between … More

A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps … More