Vinnie Returns Tomorrow

8 Year Old Vinnie Tries to Snare Santa in His Plan ~ Come by tomorrow to see if Vinnie’s successful.

Vinnie Discovers the Truth About Santa

9

5 o’clock Tuesday morning, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, except for Vinnie, Dexter, and Rupert. Vinnie tosses off the covers, they land on Dexter who is sleeping on Vinnie’s bed. Dexter looks like a mole trying to find a way of out of an underground maze. Vinnie jumps off the bed, snatches Rupert, and pulls up his jammy bottoms. He glances back at his bed and suppresses a laugh when he sees Dexter worming his way through the covers. He frees Dexter. Dexter jumps off the bed anticipating an early breakfast before the real breakfast.

Vinnie holds Rupert out in front of him. He says, “Rupert, today’s the day I am going to see Santa. I want to make sure we’re not late.” 

Vinnie turns back toward Dexter, “Too bad you can’t come with us, Dexter. I’ll put in a good word for you. Santa loves all animals.”

Dexter smiles, wags his tail, and translates Vinnie’s words to say, “Dexter, I’m going to give you all the left over pizza.” Some things are lost in translation.

Vinnie opens his bedroom door and walks into the hallway connecting the guest bedroom, the guest bathroom, his bedroom, and his mom and dad’s bedroom. He opens the guest bedroom and walks in the room. Dexter follows. Vinnie closes the door and flicks on the light. He turns his head toward Rupert, “Linda said parents hide the presents in the guest bedroom. Dexter, you check under the bed. Me and Rupert will check the closet.”

Two minutes later Vinnie emerges from the closet. Dexter is lying on the floor waiting for something to happen. Vinnie says, “Linda’s in big trouble when I tell Santa she doesn’t believe in him. I’m going to tell him to give her worms or beetles. There are no presents in the guest bedroom, Rupert. There really is a Santa. This proves it. Let’s go wake up Mom and Dad. I don’t want them to oversleep today. It’s only a few more days until Christmas. I’ve got to see Santa or Christmas will be ruined.”

Dexter becomes disoriented when Vinnie opens his parents bedroom door instead of heading to the kitchen. He barks to signal Vinnie he’s taken the wrong turn. Vinnie flicks the switch to the overhead light and hollers, “Wake up Mom. Time to get up, Dad.”

Vinnie’s mom sits up, a startled look on her face, “What’s wrong, Vinnie? Did you have a nightmare?”

Vinnie’s dad reaches over to the end table and grabs hold of his iPhone and checks the time, “It’s five oh four. What are you doing out of bed?”

“We’ve got to get up and get ready to see Santa. You know how long it takes you to get ready to go shopping, Mom. As for Dad, he’ll start working on his laptop and we’ll have to pull it away from him. Come on, Dad. Do you want Dexter to lick your face?”

“Make him go back to bed,” Vinnie’s dad begs.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to get up. Rupert and me will make breakfast. I’ll call you when it’s ready. That way you can get a little more sleep.”

Dexter’s thinking, did Vinnie mention breakfast? Dexter barks twice.

Before Vinnie’s mom can speak, Vinnie, Rupert, and Dexter are out of the bedroom and on their way to the kitchen. 

Vinnie holds Rupert in front of him. He says, “What are we going to make for breakfast, Rupert?”

Vinnie uses his special fake voice for Rupert. Rupert answers in a high pitch squeaky voice, “Let’s make pop tarts and cover them with peanut butter. We can stick Fruit Loops on the peanut butter.”

“Great idea, Rupert. When you grow up, you might be a famous chef.”

Dexter barks. Vinnie glances at Dexter. He says, “I forgot all about you, Dexter. I’ll give you a special breakfast and microwave the sausages Dad loves to eat when he doesn’t work. He won’t mind because he’s too excited about going to see Santa.”

In the bedroom, Vinnie’s mom says, “Dear, do you think it’s safe to let Vinnie alone in kitchen?”

Vinnie’s dad pulls the pillow off of his head and says, “What could go wrong?”

Vinnie Tells His Dad He Doesn’t Understand Women

5

Vinnie’s dad pulls into ShowTown’s 40 screen theater’s parking lot. His dad glances at the digital time display on the car’s dashboard, 1:45. He winces, “I can’t do this, Vinnie. I’m going to drop you off at Saint Peter’s. Rehearsal is from 2 until 3. I’m going to do some Christmas shopping for Mom. I know exactly what she wants.”

“Dad, Dad, you promised to go to the movie with me,” pleads Vinnie.

“I didn’t promise. I said we’d go,” says Vinnie’s dad.

“That’s the same thing, Dad. I always believe everything you say. I never doubt you for a second. You’re the best dad in the whole world. I was thinking of getting you a t-shirt that says, “World’s #1 Dad. But, you’re better than that. Now, I have to think of something else,” says Vinnie.

Vinnie’s dad suppresses a chuckle, “I’ll have to find out a way to go on living without the t-shirt. Listen up, no monkey business at church. You listen to Sister Janet. Whatever role she gives you to play, you do your part. Give me your word.”

“Awe, Dad, not my word’s word,” begs Vinnie.

“Yes, give me your word’s word and while you give me your word’s word hold out your hands so I can see your fingers and toes crossed do not count if you’re wearing shoes,” says his Dad.

“Darn it, I give you my word’s word,” says Vinnie looking cross-eyed at his dad.

“That’s more like it,” says his dad fist bumping Vinnie. His dad adds, “What are you smiling about? I thought you didn’t want to go.”

“You made the right decision, Dad. Tell me you’re not going to the appliance store to buy Mom’s Christmas present, right?” says Vinnie.

Vinnie’s dad keeping one eye on the street as he drives, half twists his head to look at Vinnie, “How did you know?”

“Dad, bad move. It’s like the chocolates you bought her. She only ate three and tossed the rest away. You really don’t understand women, do you?” says Vinnie.

“And, you understand women?” laughs his dad.

“You can’t trust them, Dad. They’ll snitch on you. They’ll treat you unfairly and put you in time out for no reason. They’ll make you dress up in stupid costumes and pretend you’re an animal. Guys do not do these things to each other.”

“You have a point, Vinnie. Women have other good qualities that make up for the bad points,” says Vinnie’s dad.

“Like what, Dad?” 

“Look, there’s an inflatable Santa,” says Vinnie’s dad pointing out the front window toward Vinnie’s side of the car hoping he can distract Vinnie. 

Vinnie mind changes faster than Dexter snagging food that falls off the table. Vinnie says, “That’s cool, Dad. When do I get to talk to Santa? I don’t want to wait until the last minute. If we wait too long, Santa’s going to be tired and he probably won’t have any of the good stuff left to bring me. Can we go now? Sister Janet will understand. Huh, Dad?”

Vinnie’s dad shakes his head. He says, “You never quit, do you, son?”

“You always tell me, to never quit, never give up. Santa knows I don’t quit, right, Dad?” asks Vinnie.

“I’m sure he does. Here we are. They’re putting up the framework for the manager scene. There’s Sister Janet. Who’s the girl standing next to her?” asks his dad.

Vinnie stares out the window. He ducks down, “Take me home, Dad. I am not going. Mom didn’t tell me she’d be here.”

“Who is she, Vinnie?” asks his dad.

“It’s Sara Johnson. She hates me. She’ll probably tell Sister Janet a lot of lies about me and what happens in school. Sister Janet will believe her because they’re both girls. Then Sister Janet will probably make me a cow instead of a sheep. I didn’t thinks this day could get any worse, Dad. Now, it has. Please turn around.”

Vinnie’s Dad parks the car. He opens his door. He waves to Sister Janet, “Hi Sister. Hope we’re not late.”

Vinnie opens the door and gets out. He turns to his dad and says, “You’re going to have to do something good to make up for this one, Dad. Santa sees everything.”

“How about the three of us going to Cerelli’s for pizza tonight?” says his dad.

“Sounds good. See you at three, Dad,” says Vinnie. He turns toward Sister Janet and runs over. “Hi Sister Janet. Can I be the sheep this year?”

 

Vinnie Returns on Monday. Will Vinnie Behave at the Live Nativity Practice? Will Vinnie Make Sister Janet Happy She Never Had Children? Find Out Monday.

Vinnie Asks His Mom If Santa Is Real

3

Vinnie’s mom, dad, and Vinnie sit in the living room watching The Christmas Story. Vinnie is eating from a bowl of popcorn. Rupert sits next to Vinnie, Vinnie’s left arm drapes around Rupert. Vinnie’s dad snacks on a piece of pizza and sips on a beer. His Mom has an open box of chocolates on her lap. Dexter is on the floor next to Vinnie’s feet hopeful Vinnie will toss him some popcorn.

Vinnie’s dad mutes the TV during a commercial break. Vinnie says, “You know what Linda Michaels said in school today?”

Vinnie’s mom looks up from the chocolates, “Linda is such a sweet girl. I bet what she said made a lot of sense.”

Vinnie says, “Linda said there is no such thing as Santa. She said parents were Santa. Tommy Smith started crying. Is there a Santa or isn’t there a Santa?”

Vinnie’s mom looks at Vinnie’s dad and says, “Honey, why don’t you tell Vinnie the truth.” 

Vinnie’s dad takes a sip of beer and says, “Linda’s parents are weird, but don’t tell her I said that. Of course there is a Santa. I’m working on my Christmas list tonight. I’m going to email Santa my list when I’m finished.”

Vinnie’s mom’s mouth clenches tight around a chocolate covered caramel. 

Vinnie says, “Dad, will you give me Santa’s email. I want to tell him what a good job he’s doing and not to leave any presents at Linda’s house. Mom, you could try being a little more like the mom in the Christmas Story and maybe Santa might be nicer to you and bring you something you like for a change.”

Vinnie’s mom starts coughing.

Vinnie jumps up knocking his popcorn over the floor. “Opps. Don’t worry about the popcorn, Mom. Dexter will clean the floor. I’m going to get you a glass of water. Dad, will you tell Santa Mom didn’t have to ask me to get her a glass of water. I volunteered?”

“Sure, Vinnie. That will make Santa happy.”

“Tell him how I shared my popcorn with Dexter. Santa loves animals. I can name all his reindeer. Do you want to hear their names. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer …”

“I think we know the names of Santa’s reindeer,” Vinnie’s dad says. “Run along into the kitchen and get Mom a glass of water.”

Vinnie takes two steps toward the kitchen, stops and turns around, “Mom, is there a Santa? You never lie to me. Rupert can tell if you’re lying. He’ll tell me when I go to bed. He’s got super powers.”

Vinnie’s Mom says, “Vinnie, let me ask you a question, who has been bringing you presents on Christmas for as long as you remember?” 

“Santa,” responds Vinnie.

“Does that answer your question?” his mom asks.

Vinnie cocks his head a bit upward and thinks about it. Vinnie says, “Pretty much.”

Vinnie walks to the kitchen. Dexter finishes the popcorn clean up and follows Vinnie into the kitchen hopeful Vinnie will sneak him a snack out of the fridge. Dexter is always the opportunist. Vinnie hollers from the kitchen, “Dad, want another piece of pizza? How about a cookie? Can I get you a bowl of ice cream?”

“No thanks, Vinnie. Thanks for asking,” says his dad.

Vinnie hollers again from the kitchen, “Dad?”

“What is it, Vinnie?”

“When you write your email to Santa will you tell him that I wanted to do these nice things for you?”

“Sure thing, Vinnie,” says his Dad.

“Don’t forget to ask Santa to bring Mom the kind of chocolates she likes, not the kind you buy for her. I don’t think Santa will hold it against you. She hates the kind with nuts and cream filling on the inside.”

“Thank you, Vinnie,” his Mom says.

Vinnie runs the water and whispers to Dexter, “Dexter, I can’t tell if Mom or Dad are telling me the truth. Tomorrow, we’re going to be detectives. We’ll start by searching the guest bedroom to see if they are hiding presents. That’s where Linda says parents hide them.” 

Vinnie takes a sugar cookie off the plate on the counter and breaks it in half and gives it to Dexter. Dexter scoffs it and wags his tail approvingly. Whether Dexter was approving of the plan to search Vinnie’s parents’ room or asking for another cookie we’ll never know.

“You talking to me, Vinnie,” calls out his mom.

“Uh, yes, Mom. I want to know if you want me to get the box of chocolates Uncle Tony sent,” says Vinnie.

“What a sweetheart you are, Vinnie. The Christmas season is special. Get the chocolates.”

“Sure thing, Mom. Tell Dad to put it is his email to Santa.”