“Count your age by friends, not years. Cour youlife by smiles, not tears.”
~ John Lennon
“Count your age by friends, not years. Cour youlife by smiles, not tears.”
~ John Lennon
Joe: “My wife and I went out for wine and cheese and she described the wine as full bodied and imposing with a nutty base, a sharp bite, and a bitter aftertaste.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I said, ‘Are you describing the wine or your mother?” She didn’t take it well.
Joe: “I bought my mother-in-law a chair for her birthday.”
Pete: “That was nice of you, Joe.”
Joe: “Unfortunately my wife wouldn’t let me plug it in.”
Joe: “I told my friend Al that my mother-in-law is an angel.”
Pete: “What did Al say?”
Joe: “He said I was lucky, his mother-in-law is still alive.”
Joe: “I wanted watch the symphony with my wife and kids, but I had to turn it off before the first movement finished.”
Pete: “Why was that?”
Joe: “Too much sax and violins.”
Joe: “My girlfriend told me she could trust me to keep a secret.”
Pete: “Why did she say that?”
Joe: “She said, It doesn’t matter what she says to me sinceI never listen to her.”
Joe: “I saw a sign that said, ‘watch for children.’ It made me think.”
Pete: “What did you think about?”
Joe: “I thought it was a fair trade.”
Joe: “I have an inferiority complex.”
Pete: “You do?”
Joe: “Yah, but it’s not a very good one.”
Joe: “My girlfriend is a big country fan. I tried to impress her with my knowledge.”
Pete: “What did you say?”
Joe: “I told her the U.S. is 3.7 million square miles.”
Joe: “I’m currently dating a twin.”
Pete: “How do you tell them apart?”
Joe: “Nicole has a small mole on her neck. Jack has a beard.”