John Updike’s Advice For Writers

Having talent is a terrific gift. Having the courage to put forth the effort to develop one’s innate talent is uncommon. It defines who we are and what we will become. The famous author John Updike offers advice for the young writer. His advice offers valuable wisdom for all our life’s pursuits.


<p><a href=”https://vimeo.com/70819405″>John Updike's advice to young writers</a> from <a href=”https://vimeo.com/brainpicker”>Maria Popova</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

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Spaghetti & Good News

Chapter 8

“Dinner’s ready,” called Nick’s mom from the kitchen.
Nick’s stomach was doing flips the moment he walked into his house. A sweet aroma filled the house from his mom’s homemade spaghetti sauce. He loved the smell. All he had to eat since breakfast were the apple and candy bar Johnny gave him. He put his laptop to sleep and went to the kitchen. His dad and mom and two sisters were waiting for him.
Nick grinned, “Sorry, I learned how to do a really tough calculus problem today. I had a breakthrough. For the first time I understand this stuff.”
His dad broke into a wide smile and said, “I want to hear more. Mom is going to say grace tonight.”
Nick, his sisters, and his mom and dad joined hands and bowed their heads. His mom prayed, “Thank you Lord for this meal. Thank you for the people who grew and harvested the tomatoes for the sauce. Thank you for our health. Thank you for Nick’s math breakthrough, and please let Tony’s interview go well tomorrow. Amen.”
The family made the sign of the cross then Nick said, “Dad, you have an interview tomorrow?”
“I didn’t want to say anything, but you know mom, she’s not shy about praying,” said Nick’s dad.
“Well? What is it?” Asked Nick.
Nick’s dad twirled the spaghetti around his fork and put it in his mouth, he chewed it and swallowed and took a sip of red wine. He placed his glass down and said, “This is crazy. I walked down to the coffee shop this morning to give mom some space. I got a small cup of coffee and sat down. Freddy O’Leary sees me and takes his coffee over and we start talking. Little by little I tell him the whole story. Freddy tells me the director of the town’s youth recreation position is open. I told him I don’t qualify. He says I qualify because I coach youth soccer, youth basketball, and youth baseball. He says I’m perfect for the job. I went to the Recreation Department and filled out an application. I beat the deadline by an hour. I got a call an hour ago. I have an interview tomorrow.”
Nick and his sisters got up from the table and went to their dad and hugged him. His dad loved to be hugged. Nicks mom watched the love her children were giving their dad and wiped away tears from her eyes.
After Nick and his sisters sat down, his dad said, “There are four other people they’re interviewing. It’s not a sure thing.”
Nick said, “Dad tell them not to show up, you’re going to do great.”
“Yah! Said his sisters in unison.
Nick’s dad said, “Tell us about your calculus breakthrough.”
Nick told his mom and dad and sisters about meeting Johnny Balboni in the alley. He told them how Johnny gave him an apple and candy bar. Then he told them how Johnny taught him calculus in a way he could understand it.
Nick’s dad said, “It doesn’t surprise me.”
Nick said, “It doesn’t?”
“No, Johnny came to the US with his parents when he was 14. He graduated from high school by the time he was 16. He was brilliant. He had a full scholarship to the best engineering school in the world, MIT. By the time he was 20 years old he had his masters degree. He stayed at MIT and worked on all kinds of projects. He never married, his work became his life. He never made a big deal about his career, he was always a regular guy when you’d see him. I think it was when he was fifty. He was in a car accident. They thought he was going to die. He had severe injuries. He was never the same after that. He never went back to MIT. He began to drift around and soon became what he is today.”
“He wants me to see him tomorrow, he’s going to work with me some more,” said Nick.
“Do it, Nick. It will be as good for him as it will be for you,” said his dad.
“Johnny told me to never give up,” said Nick.
“That’s good advice for you and for me, Nick,” said his dad.
Will Nick’s dad get the job? Will Nick do well on the SATs in three days? Will Johnny’s mind get better

Life Is Full of Surprises

Chapter 7

Nick thought what the heck and walked over to Johnny Balboni and sat down on the cold ground next to him.

Johnny reached over and grabbed a piece of cardboard and handed it to Nick, “Sit on this. It won’t be so cold.”

Nick took the cardboard and slid it under himself. He said, “Thanks, Johnny. How are you doing?”

Johnny stuck out his hand and wiggled his hand, “So, so. I do okay, You don’t look so good. You got girl troubles?” he said.

Nick shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t feel like talking. He started to get up, but stopped when Johnny put his hand on his arm.

“You got to talk to somebody or you gonna go nuts. Me, I live by myself. I don’t tell anybody what you say to me. I’m not gonna make any judgements. Before you tell me your problems, here’s an apple, I got two of them, we’ll eat and talk, that’s a good combination,” said Johnny wiping the apple first on his raggedy overcoat, then handing it to Nick.

Nick took the apple from Johnny and took a bite, “Thanks, Johnny. I was hungry. I didn’t eat lunch today.”

“Okay, what’s going on? I got all day to listen,” said Johnny.

Nick took another bite of the apple, chewed it, looked off across the ally, swallowed his bite, and began to talk. He told Johnny how he wanted to go to college out of town. He told him how he needed a scholarship so he could go to college. He told him how and why his dad got laid off. Nick talked for twenty minutes. Johnny sat beside him, listening, occasionally nodding his head.

When Nick finished, he said, “I spilled my guts, Johnny. The way my life is going is I’m waiting for the next bad thing to happen. I’m on a losing streak and there is nothing I can do about it.”

Nick scrambled in a bag, You want a candy bar, I got a couple or three in here?”

“No, you keep them,” said Nick.

“What for? You a growing boy, you need your strength. Here,” said Johnny handing Nick a Snicker’s bar.

“Thanks, Johnny.

“Not a problem. Now we gonna start with the first problem and then we gonna work through the rest of them,” said Johnny.

Nick’s first thought was I have homework to do. I have to study for the SATs. I made a mistake sitting down.

Before Nick could decide what to do, Johnny said, “What’s the problem in calculus? Maybe I can help you with it.”

Nick turned to face Johnny, “You know calculus?”

“Hey, maybe I’m 87 years old but I still know calculus.”

“How do you know calculus? Johnny asked.

“We gonna talk all day or you gonna show me the problem?” Said Nick.

Nick pulled out his iPhone and showed Johnny the photo of the calculus problem Mr. Durlo put on the screen. “I can’t figure out how he got the answer. I admit I wasn’t paying attention.”

Johnny didn’t say anything, he took Nick’s iPhone and stared at the screen. He held the iPhone in his right hand. His left hand gestured in the air. After a minute he handed the iPhone to Nick and said, “Listen up. You got any questions, you tell me after I splain it to you.”

Nick nodded. Then Johnny began taking Nick through the calculus problem one step at a time. Twice, Nick wanted to ask a question, but he stopped himself. By the time Johnny finished, Nick understood the problem and how Johnny arrived at the answer.

“I understand it perfectly, Johnny. I can’t thank you enough,” said Nick and started to get up. Johnny’s hand stopped him again. Nick took a deep breath and sat down.

“Not so fast, Nick. I’ll be here the next two days at the same time. I’ll help you with your calculus. You gonna do okay on the test, don’t you worry about it. That’s the first thing. The second thing, you gonna have disappointments in life. They happen to everybody. What you got to do is never give up. If you quit, the game is over. You as good as dead. But if you keep trying, you never know what’s gonna happen tomorrow, maybe the sun will shine on you.

“But, Johnny, it’s my dream to get out of town and study someplace else. I don’t have a chance,” said Nick.

Johnny shook his head, “Who told you that you don’t have a chance? Somebody send you a letter telling you not to try?”

“No?” Said Nick.

“Then you making this stuff up. You don’t know until it happens, You understand me?” Said Johnny.

Nick thought about it for a minute, then realized Johnny was right. He knew he was making it up.”

He turned to Johnny who was now standing. Johnny said, “I can’t spend anymore time today, I got to make my rounds. You remember what I tell you and I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Right,” said Nick.

How does Johnny Balboni know calculus? Will Nick’s bad luck change? Come by tomorrow for another chapter in the Christmas story.

He’s No Bum – He’s A Human Being

Chapter 6

Mr. Durlo, the calculus teacher, used his extended pointer and pointed to the screen. “Any questions on how we arrived at this answer? Nick, you look like you’re someplace else. Do you understand the thinking we used to get this answer?”

Nick knew Mr. Durlo was right. His mind was on his dad. It was on Johnny Balboni. It was on the SATs that he’d take on Thursday. It was on everything but this class.

“I understand, Mr. Durlo,” said Nick.

Nick knew he didn’t understand, but didn’t want to embarrass himself. In one more minute the bell would ring to end class. It would be time for lunch. He was going to sit with Cara and ask her to go over the calculus problem with him. He glanced at her, but she didn’t glance back.

The bell rang, Nick stood up and walked to the front of the class and waited for Clara. The class slowly emptied. Clara remained at her desk. When Mr. Durlo and all the students were out of the room except for she and Nick, Clara said, “We need to talk, Nick.”

Clara pointed to a desk next to her. Nick’s stomach hurt. He knew Clara and knew her voice. Her voice this time was filled with seriousness. Nick had a feeling if this were a movie it was not going to have a happy ending. Nick sat at the desk in row next to Clara. He moved his desk so he faced her. He said, “Want to go to lunch? I could use some help on my calculus.”

“Yes, I want to go to lunch. But I am not going with you, Nick. I like you. I really like you. But I am going to end our relationship.”

“Why? What did I do?” Asked Nick.

“It’s not what you did. You didn’t do anything to hurt me. It’s just that with you working on the weekends we’ll never have time to see each other. I want more of a life and it’s not going to happen with you.”

“It’ll only be for a short time. As soon as my dad gets a job, I’ll be able to quit. We can see each other at lunch. We can get together on Saturday and Sunday afternoons. Want to give it a chance?” Nick didn’t want to get upset. Each time he felt his anger rising, he fought to control it.

“There’s more Nick. You don’t know it, but everyone is laughing and you and your father for helping the town bum out. He’s disgusting. You’re so much better than him. If you promise not to go near him, I’ll give it a try for a couple of weeks and see how it goes with us. Is it a deal?” Asked Cara.

Nick turned his head and stared at the Calculus problem on the screen. He thought, that is how my life looks, it’s one big problem after another. He made a deep sigh and looked at Cara, and said, “Johnny Balboni is no bum. He’s a human like the rest of us. If you talk to him, you’ll find out what a decent guy he is. I won’t stop talking to him or helping him out where I can.”

Cara took hold of her purse, she stood up and said, “Have a nice life, Nick. I’m not part of it and don’t try to sit with me at lunch.”

Nick watched Cara leave. He sat and thought about it. Everything happening to me is because of Johnny Balboni. And, Johnny doesn’t even know anything about it. Nick stayed in the empty classroom staring at the calculus problem. Twice he walked up to the screen and studied the problem more closely. He was missing something, he couldn’t figure out what it was. He snapped a photo of the problem with his iPhone to study later.

Nick went through his advanced chemistry class and his Spanish IV class in a daze. He couldn’t concentrate. In the space of a couple of days he lost his best friend, Buttons, his girlfriend Clara and any hope he had for scoring well on the SATs. After his last class, he left school and began walking home. He couldn’t remember walking home without Buttons. A first time for everything he thought.

When he got to the center of town, he decided to take a short cut through the alley behind the row of stores. He wouldn’t meet anyone in the alley, he didn’t feel like talking. He wasn’t quite sure how he felt. He was angry. He was sad. He was scared. And, he wasn’t going to tell anyone.

Nick was nearing the end of the alley when he saw an empty bottle. He bent over, picked it up and threw it against the back wall of a building. The glass bottle exploded against the wall and shattered into a thousand pieces.

Breaking the bottle didn’t help Nick. He still felt lousy. He kicked at the ground and started walking.

“Hey, Nick. Hey, Nick. What you do that for, break a bottle worth a five cents?” Said Johnny Balboni.

Nick stopped and looked for Johnny. It took him a minute before he found him. Johnny was sitting next to a large empty box, eating a sandwich and sipping from a bottle of water.

Before Nick could say anything, Johnny said, “Come over here and keep me company while I eat.”

Why does Johnny want Nick to sit with him? Will Nick’s string of bad luck stop? What else can go wrong for Nick

Ignite Your Writing Greatness

If you’re a blogger, you’re a writer. I’m always searching for tips on how to improve my writing. Here’s a short YouTube video with five tips for writers drawn from the habits of great writers. Who knows, perhaps one of these tips will ignite your writing greatness – here’s hoping it does.

Forget About Being Friends

Chapter 5

Nick stood behind the counter at Martini’s Deli cutting onions into small pieces. He never wanted to look at another onion. His eyes watered and tears rolled down his cheeks. He still had twenty more onions to go. When he finished cutting the onions, he’d start cutting the green peppers, then the jalapeno peppers, then the habanero peppers.

He looked up at the wall clock, it was eight-thirty. Here he was alone, his girlfriend Cara was with her parents at her nonna’s house in Providence. He wouldn’t see Cara until he went to school on Monday. Nick made a deep sigh and kept on cutting onions.

The door opened, “Hey Nick, how’s it going?” said Buttons.

“It’s going okay,” said Nick.

Buttons took a seat on stool at the counter. “A bunch of us are going to the ten o’clock movie. Can you make it?” said Buttons.

“No. Tino will come by at ten and then I’ll have to clean up. I’ll be lucky to get out by eleven,” said Nick.

“What are friends for, Nick? I’ll hang out with you. After Tino leaves, I’ll help out and all we’ll miss is the coming attractions,” said Buttons.

“You can’t hang out without buying a sub. I’d get fired. I can’t afford to get fired,” said Nick.

“Make me a sub. What’s Tino to know. He’ll think I paid for it,” said Buttons.

Nick shook his head, “Buttons, I can’t do that, even for a friend. You know that.”
“Why not? Who’s it going to hurt. It’d be stealing,” said Nick.

Buttons wasn’t about to give up, “Let me put it this way. Suppose a starving person came in and asked you for a sub, would you give it to him?”

Nick put the knife down and leaned over the counter, “Buttons, I can’t sit and talk with you. You have to order or leave. It’s the way it has to be.”

“Some friend you are. Forget it,” said a suddenly angry Buttons. He walked to the door, then turned back to Nick. “If you can’t do me a small favor, forget about me being your friend. I’ll find another friend.”

Nick shrugged and watched Buttons leave. Buttons got into his car and drove off without waving at Nick.

Five minutes after Buttons left, a worker from the plant where his dad was laid off came into the deli. Nick knew him, it was Carl Pozzi. Nick said, “What can I do for you, Carl?”

Carl nodded, but didn’t say anything, he looked at the sub menu on the wall. Carl said, “It’s a tough decision. Maybe I want the pepperoni, provolone cheese, and hot peppers.”

“That’s a good choice,” said Nick.

“I didn’t say that was what I wanted. Maybe I’ll go with the friend eggplant, roasted peppers and mozzarella.”

Nick didn’t say anything. He waited.

“Okay, I made my decision. I’ll go with the veal parmesan with hot peppers and mozzarella.”

“Have it for you in a minute, Carl. Anything you want to drink to go with it?” said Nick.

“No, I’ll take it to go. Too bad about your dad. He would have been okay if he knew enough to keep his mouth shut, and not act stupid,” said Carl.

Nick’s back was turned to Carl as he made Carl’s sandwich. He stopped making the sandwich and turned around, “What do you mean?” Nick said.

“Your dad’s stupid. It happened last Friday. When our shift finished, the company put on a Christmas spread for us. There were sandwiches, cookies, cake, and coffee. It didn’t last long, maybe an hour. Your dad got a call on his cell, he stepped outside for a minute to take the call. I was looking out the window and saw him wave to the town bum, Johnny Balboni. Balboni’s fishing through the trash cans. Your dad finished his call and waved Balboni over. He said something to him. Balboni nodded. Your dad came in and picked up two sandwiches, a couple of cookies and cup of coffee and took it outside and gave it to the bum. I didn’t say nothing about it. But the supervisor saw him. He was angry. When your dad came back, the supervisor started hollering at him. Your dad turned and walked away. He didn’t care. You know what happened. He got laid off. It should have never happened, your dad had seniority.”

Nick was angry. Life was really unfair. You do something good and you get fired. It just wasn’t fair. At the same time, he felt a deep respect and pride for his father. His father didn’t mention it to the family. Nick made up his mind, he wouldn’t complain. He’d work hard to help support his family. If he had to go to college in town, he’d make the best of it.

 

Will Nick catch a break? Is the friendship between Nick and Buttons over? The Christmas story continues.

A Worn Scarf – A Warm Smile

Chapter 4

Nick slipped on his dark hoodie. He walked out of the house without saying goodbye. He heard his mother call and say, “Wear your winter coat, it’s cold.”

Then he heard his father say, “Leave him alone. He’s got to work through the change in his plans. He’ll be okay.”

Nick thought, “No, I won’t be okay. I’ll never get the scholarship.”

He looked at the night sky and wondered if anybody really cared about him. He wondered if his parents even tried to understand him. He felt angry. He wanted scream at the top of his lungs, but suppressed the desire, he knew he’d be making trouble for himself. Five minutes later he was standing in front of Martini’s Deli. Tino was behind the counter waiting on a policeman.

Nick stood outside. He was cold, the night temperature dropped to near thirty and a brisk wind kicked in. Nick remembered hearing about a cold front coming down from Canada. His hands were cold, he blew on them. He started jumping up and down to stay warm. Then he heard a voice.

“Hey, Nicky. You cold. Take this and put it around your neck.”

Nick turned and saw Johnny Balboni handing him a wore scarf.

“Thanks Johnny. I can’t take it, it’s yours,” said Nick.

Johnny came a step closer, “No, you take it. I want you to have it. It’s my best one. But you stood up for me today. If I was thirty years younger, they wouldn’t have bothered me. But now, now is different. I’m not as strong as I used to be.”

Nick didn’t want the scarf, but he took it and wrapped it around his neck the way Johnny wanted him to wrap it.

“There, you feel better. I bet you not so cold now. Tell me the truth, you happy Johnny gave you his scarf?”

Nick did feel warmer. Okay, he wasn’t a fashion plate but the 18 degree wind chill didn’t feel quite as bad as it did a few minutes before. He looked at Johnny, still wearing his old fedora and giving him his broad smile showing mostly gums and few teeth. Nick said, “I feel much better, Johnny. I’ll drop it by your place tomorrow.”

“No. It’s yours Nick. I want you to have it. You know where I got this scarf. I’ll tell you. A long time ago, I had a girlfriend. I used to be good looking in those days. She gave me this scarf for Christmas. It was the best gift I ever had. I know she would want you to have it.”

Nick stared at Johnny. He couldn’t picture Johnny ever being good looking.

Johnny said, “I gotta go. See you around, Nick.”

Johnny picked up his black plastic trash bag, one-third filled with aluminum cans, tugged on the brim of his fedora and headed up the alley between Martini’s Deli and Eddie’s Barbershop. Nick was watching him when he heard the deli door open.

“You gonna stand out there all night. Your dad called and said you was on your way,” Tino Martini sounded more like a Marine drill sergeant than a deli owner.

Nick followed Tino into the deli. He took a quick glance for the policeman. Only Tino and he were in the deli. Nick surmised the policeman left while he was talking with Johnny.

Tino went behind the counter and Nick stood in front of the counter. Tino was a big guy. Not big in the way of a basketball player, but big in the way of looking like he could pick up a two-hundred pound bag of sand and toss it like it was filled with air. Tino’s arms were covered with black hair.

Tino wiped his hands on his apron, then he placed his hands, palm down on the counter and bent forward. He said, “I’m doing your dad a favor. I owe him, now we’re even. Don’t ask him about the favor. I also like what you did earlier today taking up of Johnny. He don’t hurt nobody. These are my rules. While you work here, you don’t play on your phone or your computer. I don’t care if there is nobody in here. I find out, you’re done. Understand?”

Nick nodded.

“Here’s another thing. You gonna work from two in the afternoon to ten at night on Saturday and Sunday. That’s when I normally close. I’ll show up to take the cash. You’re going to clean up and then leave. It will take about an hour. If you work out on the weekends, maybe I’ll give a few nights during the week.”

Nick nodded.

“You got any questions?”

“Okay if I start next weekend?”

“No. You start tomorrow. I’m going to take Janet out. We ain’t been to a movie in years.”

“Okay. Thanks for work, Mr. Martini,” said Nick. He didn’t mean it.

“Don’t mention it. Tell your father I said hello.”

“Okay.” Nick walked out of the deli. His heart felt as heavy as a ship’s anchor. Some Christmas he thought. He gave the scarf another wrap around his neck, stuck his hands in his jean’s pockets and headed toward home.

Just when Nick thought his day couldn’t get worse, it got worse.

You Smell Like A Skunk

Chapter 22

Zeke and Mickey rode in the back seat of the black BMW. Tony Gallino rode in the passenger seat, the driver thug drove. The driver thug was wearing driving gloves to prevent his hands from making smudges on the steering wheel. This was one Gallino’s pet peeves. He hated smudges. The thug took a left onto Walnut Ave. Cars lined both sides of the street. The only free spot was the space in front of the fire hydrant in front of the house where Nonna lived.

“There’s no parking spaces Mr. G. Want me to drop use off and wait at a coffee shop until you ring me?” said the thug.

“No need, Tony. The space in front of the hydrant is reserved for me. Since I’m with you, you can take my space,” said Zeke.

Gallino turned and looked over his shoulder at Zeke, “The cops let you alone if you park there?”

“They never bother me.  It’s the way it works.

Gallino said, “Interesting.” Then  he tapped the right shoulder of the thug, “Park in front of the hydrant. Don’t let anything happen to my car, you understand?” said Gallino.

“I gotcha, Mr. G,” said the thug.

Two minutes later, Zeke is knocking on Nonna’s door. Gallino is standing behind Zeke. Mickey is standing behind Gallino.

From behind the door, “I gotta no time the Jehovah’s today. Go knock on somebody else’s door.”

“Nonna, it’s me, Zeke,” said Zeke.

“I no gonna talk to you if one of those Jehovah’s,” said Nonna.

“I’m not one of them, Nonna. I’m with Tony Gallino, he wants to speak with you,” said Zeke.

“I can smell a Palitroni. You bring that scrunchy little bum with you? Don’t lie to me. I can tell when you lying,” said Nonna.

“I showered this morning,” hollered Mickey.

Nonna hollered back, “You Palitroni’s got the skunk smell. No way you can get rid of it. Anyway, you the drunken bum who drank all my dandelion wine. Now, Gino won’t come over until I get some more. I tell him he can’t come to my house until he take his blue pill, you know what I mean?”

Tony Gallino, wearing his three thousand dollar handmade suit, took his silk handkerchief out of his suit coat pocket and wiped his mouth. He said, “Nonna, it’s me, Tony. Can we talk business? These two schmucks are wasting our time.”

“Who you calling a schmuck? It’s okay to call Palitroni a schmuck, but you no call Zeke a schmuck. He’s just stupid and lazy but he gotta good heart.’

“I know what you mean about the Palitroni’s. You can’t trust them. Can I come in and we can make a deal?” said Gallino thinking he was charming Nonna.

“Okay, I’m gonna let everybody in, but I not gonna waste my food and wine on you. I tell you Tony, you try to seduce me, Rocco’s watching. He gonna ask one of the saints to give you a bad accident.”

“I promise, I won’t try to seduce you, Nonna,” said Gallino.

“Why not? Am I not pretty enough for you? Just because I don’t got those plastic things that stick out like a big grapefruit, is that the reason?” said Nonna.

Gallino, exasperated, said, “Yes, I want to seduce you, but I promise I won’t. It will hard because  you’re so beautiful.”

“Will you take me to your bed if you have a chance and I give in?” said Nonna.

“Yes, I’ll have you spend the night with me. We’ll make passionate love. But I promise I’ll be strong.”

“You a bigger fool than I thought, Tony. Now I gotta all this on my phone. Maybe I’m a gonna play it for the six o’clock news.  Know what I mean?”

“Can I please come in?” Gallino now, almost begging.

“Okie dokie,” said Nonna, taking off the latch, and opening three dead bolt locks, then turning the door handle.

Will Nonna and Tony Gallino cut a deal? What will happen to Zeke and Mickey? What’s in the package?

They’re Playing Him Like An Accordion

Chapter 21

Tony Gallino got up and began pacing around the small room. The pizza delivery thug and the driver thug stepped back and let Gallino pass. Once he passed, they stepped forward, one on each side of the boys. Gallino made the circle clockwise four times. Each time he made the circle, he stopped behind his desk, turned and starred at Zeke and Mickey. He shook his head and started pacing. After his fourth pass. He stopped, turned toward the boys, placed his two hands palm down on the metal desk.

“You know what I should do with you guys? Do you know what I’m think I should do?”

Zeke kept quiet. Mickey didn’t. He said, “I don’t what you want to do with us, Tony. But if I were in your shoes, I’d tell Gus to make sure we get a free beer every time we come into this place. It’s not like we never been here before. People see us and they feel comfortable. They think two stand up guys like this place. Know what I mean?”

Gallino lifted his head and looked at the two thugs. “You see what’s happening here?”

Neither thug moved. They had no clue what Gallino was thinking and they didn’t want to be wrong.

“I’ll tell you what’s happening here,” said Gallino.

This made the two thugs happy, if they listened they had a good chance at passing a pop quiz.

“This is what’s happening. These two idiots are not idiots. See what I’m saying?”

Both thugs nodded, even though they did not see what Gallino was saying.

Gallino continued, “They are playing me. I do not like it when somebody plays me and I don’t know they are playing me. Nobody dares to do that, but these two, the did it. They played me like an accordion, which I used to play as a kid. This is not common knowledge, so do not say anything.”

The two thugs nodded.

“Gallino continued, “They suckered me into believing they were so dumb they would do me this favor and not look in the package. I, like a fool, believed them. I remember the lesson, Mario Zito taught me. He said, “Antonio, don’t believe nobody, even yourself. Because sometimes yourself lies to you.” Now I know what he means.”

The two thugs nodded.

“So, this is what I am going to do. First, I am going to leave the room while my two thugs mess up your face. Then I’m gonna come back to make sure they did it right. Then I’m gonna leave the room while the two thugs break your legs. Then I’m gonna come back to make sure your legs are broken. Then I’m gonna …”

Gallino paused his sermon on medical malpractice procedures the two thugs were going to inflict on Zeke and Mickey to answer his cell phone and its special ring tone, the Sinatra classic, All The Way. Gallino answered his cell, “Yah, baby.”

Gallino rolled his eyes while he listened to the phone.

“That’s not true, baby. Listen, I got work to do. Can we talk later?”

Gallino paused.

“Don’t you bust my smart TV. You already did? You got my laptop and you’re gonna take it to cops? I thought your sister was you. She tricked me.”

Gallino paused.

“She’s pregnant? She, I mean you, told me you were on the pill.”

A knock on the metal door interrupted Gallino’s phone conversation for a moment.

The pizza delivery thug answered the door. He turned to Gallino and said, “It’s Gus. He says it’s important.”

Gallino nodded to the thug and motioned with his hand to let Gus in the room. Gus entered and said, “Sorry to disturb you Mr. Gallino, but there are three women out there saying they’re going to newspaper saying you made unwanted sexual advances toward them.”

“I do that all the time, what’s their beef?” said Gallino. He realized he hadn’t covered the cell phone. The female voice on the other side of the cell phone connection was letting go with a series of colorful words that might make a hard boiled homicide detective blush.

Zeke said, “If I may, I believe I know a way of your predicament.”

Gallino said “What?”

Zeke answered, “Nonna put a curse on you. The only way to get the curse off is to apologize to her and Mickey and me. I’ll put in a good word with Nonna if you’ll take us to her house.”

Gallino threw his cell against the wall. He picked up a bottle of wine and threw it at Gus, who deftly sidestepped the errant throw and watched the vino splatter against the wall and the shattered bottled lay a mosaic on the floor.

“Okay, but I don’t like it,” said Gallino.

Will Nonna take off the curse? What’s in the package? What’s going to become of Zeke and Mickey?

Writing Dialogue Like Quentin Tarantino

If you’re like me, you understand writers have to write. I’m always trying to learn from the best. In this short YouTube video, Quentin Tarantino shares how he started writing dialogue. If you’re a writer, learn from the best.