Today’s Thinking Out Loud reflection is on Lewis Carroll’s work, Alice in Wonderland. Alice in Wonderland is available for free download from Project Gutenberg here.

“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.

“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”

Alice didn’t think that proved it at all; however, she went on. “And how do you know that you’re mad?”[77]

“To begin with,” said the Cat, “a dog’s not mad. You grant that?”

“I suppose so,” said Alice.

“Well, then,” the Cat went on, “you see a dog growls when it’s angry, and wags its tail when it’s pleased. Now I growl when I’m pleased, and wag my tail when I’m angry. Therefore I’m mad.”

I call it purring, not growling,” said Alice.

Note: How many arguments are started because we’re sure we’re right? My experience is that a lot of arguments are started because two people refuse to admit that there may be more than one perspective. And, both persons may not have a complete grasp of what is right. When we set aside our perspective and listen to the other we create a fertile field for dialogue to occur. Dialogue is hard work. When we engage in dialogue we dare to ask previously unexplored questions because they were “too dangerous” to ask. Here’s a dangerous question: “Can we talk about ______ without either one of us getting upset?” The follow up question: “How do we do that?” Dare to have the courage to dialogue.

By Ray Calabrese

I am an optimistic, can do, and never quit guy. The spirit of hope indelibly marks my DNA. My research at The Ohio State University helped people discover the best in themselves and change their personal lives, public organizations, and whole communities. I bring the same spirit and enthusiasm to my blog to help those who grieve who find themselves suddenly alone, navigate their grieving. Join my more than 24,300Twitter (@alwaysgoodstuff). I promise my tweets are always good stuff. Please feel free to email me at ray.brese@gmail.com.

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